Note: My husband, Eric, wrote this article to summarize what the wall looks like from outside. We believe that this insight is key in seeing what can happen when the wall is built according to God’s plan and purpose.
So the wall was finished… When all our enemies heard of it, all the nations around us feared and fell far in their own esteem, for they saw that this work was done by our God. Nehemiah 6:15-16
I honestly don’t know how Lili did it, how she stood for me in my time of darkness and ruin. To this day, I question whether my own strength could match hers. She is my Nehemiah. She rebuilt the wall of our broken empire, just she and God. And I am grateful to both.
Lili went through all the attacks. Some were from me, some were from friends, some were from Christian mentors and acquaintances.
- I remember mocking her, telling her that she had no right to pray for me or ask for our marriage to be restored, because it was HER FAULT we were in this mess.
- I remember friends of ours, longtime friends, disassociating from me and telling her it was over. Why should she fight for a man despicable as me, who would hurt her and drag her through the mud as I had done?
- I remember provoking her, telling her to stop fighting and get a lawyer. I told her that if she wanted me back it would be only under my terms. I even threatened financial retaliation if she did not concede to my demands.
Oh, how Lili was attacked; yet God told her that her work was good, and she would not come down from her wall. What a game changer that was! Now, reread those bullet points up there, and tell me, who was Satan working through most? That’s right, it was me! I was the enemy; I was the greatest threat to the wall. Sound familiar? That’s because the REAL enemy is an old dog who has no new tricks!! The greatest weapon that Satan has in his attempt to destroy a Godly union is to pit spouses against each other. But herein lies the miracle of the wall.
When Nehemiah finished with his wall, and Jerusalem was again protected, his enemies were fearful and anxious because THEY KNEW IT WAS THE WORK OF GOD. I played at Lili’s weaknesses; I exploited them. Yet, she was diligent. I told her to listen to her friends that hated me, yet she remained diligent. I threatened her, yet she remained diligent. And when the work was done, I trembled in fear, because I saw in her the power of God. I had picked the wrong fight! I had to take a step back and re-examine my situation.
What I saw when I examined my wife again was that she was not the same woman. Actually, let me rephrase. She WAS the same woman, and I realized that I had been deceived. How powerful she was! How faithful! How committed and loving! A warrior in every sense of the word! And I knew then that I was faced with two options: re-enter our kingdom and let God’s wall of protection cover us both, or stand outside and remain with the enemy. I quickly ran to the gates. I had been deceived for a long time, but I never actually saw the truth of God or our marriage until Lili’s work was complete.
Friends, I cannot promise that the power of your wall will literally scare the hell out of your spouse. But know this: when your work is done, you will be protected, and those who choose to remain outside that wall will quake at the power of God. Lili’s diligence and God’s goodness are the ONLY things that saved out marriage, just as Nehemiah’s diligence is the only thing that saved Jerusalem from hostile takeover. It’s hard work, no doubt. It’s far more than you can accomplish. But you’re not alone. God’s tools, His protection, and His strength are there for you. Read Nehemiah, and ruminate on his story. Examine yourself. Pray. Ask God for His guidance. And then, START BUILDING!!!
Much Love in Christ,