No man is an island, we can be found
No man is an island, let your guard down
You don’t have to fight me, I am for you
We’re not meant to live this life alone
I see fear in your eyes
There’s no safety here
Oh, my friend, let me in
I will share your tears
-No Man’s An Island, Tenth Avenue North
There is a sense of shame that comes when a marriage falls apart. We might be blaming ourselves or be afraid that someone will find out about it and judge us; or we could just go on with our lives, pretending that it isn’t happening. Grief is such a private emotion; it’s raw and ugly, and it exposes our weaknesses.
It can be difficult to be vulnerable and let people see a side of us that isn’t polished and perfected for viewing, it is human nature to put our best selves out there to be seen. It is, however, when we are in pain that we need others the most.
The strongest thing you can do in your moment of weakness is ask for help.
Seeking help doesn’t necessarily mean talking about your feelings. When I was separated from my spouse, I needed financial help for bills, an occasional break from the kids so I could cry without scaring anyone, and even help around the house with things that I just couldn’t do myself. Regardless of your need, do not try to do everything on your own. It’s ok to go to a church, apply for state benefits, or ask friends for help. If you need someone to talk to, you can seek counseling, go to a close, trusted friend or relative, or even band with strangers in a group like Save My Marriage group on Facebook.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains– where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip– he who watches over you will not slumber. Psalm 121:1-3
There are times that the need we have isn’t something that can be met by people, and this is when we have to seek God’s help. Sometimes it is peace that we desperately need, or a sense of understanding.
When nothing else could possibly fix the pain in us, He gives us strength to get through it. He is closest to us in times of trouble, and it is a great comfort to know that He “will not slumber” while watching over our needs.
What are some of your needs right now?
Who could you go to in order to meet those needs?
Have you gone to God in prayer for the emotional and mental needs that you have?
by Lili Morris