88 thoughts on “Affair Assessment

  • January 13, 2016 at 6:08 pm
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    My wife has been talking with another man for about a month. I saw text and Facebook messages that have them saying I love you and even saw that my wife sent him top less pics. She has told me it hasn’t become physical, but I know it’s at least an emotional affair. She still communicates with him and I feel her slipping away from me.

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    • February 10, 2016 at 11:07 pm
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      My husband had an emotional affair with the neighbor girl who is half my age. She came over to my house EVERYDAY. He spent a significant amount of alone time with her. Time he never seemed to have for me for years. He always told me he was tired. He would come home from work, go to his room, eat dinner there, watch tv and go to sleep. At first, I was just glad he came out of his room. But then the disrespect started. He would tell me how horny he was after she went home. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe because he was gawking at the girl’s double D boobs for hours. She would come over in her daisy dukes and low cut shirts and sit real close to my husband. If I mailed a letter and was gone 5 min, she would be at my house, if I ran to the bank and was gone 20 min, , she was at my house, if I was gone 2 hours with the kids at the store, she was at my house, if I was gone 10 hours at work, when I came home she was at my house.
      He would invite her out to dinner with us without asking me first. He would excitedly talk about how this was the summer he was going places and she was coming with him. It was obvious he was trying to get a rise out of me, so I ignored him. I didn’t want to play into his little game. I am not a jealous person and I think he was trying to get a rise out of me.
      One day I couldn’t take any more, he pushed me too far. I came home from work to find them drunk once again. He asked her to go to the Nitrous Circus with him and looked at me and said, “WE need you to come to drive US and watch the kids” Of course I said no with a rude invitation like that and she said that was okay that she would drive my car. I told her no and she kept insisting that she was going to drive my car. I just dropped it, to keep it from going back and forth.
      Then they watched her husband drive off to work , we went inside my house and my husband whispered in her ear, she dumped her kid with me , my husband slammed the door in my face and off they went to her house to do who knows what. They were gone about 20-30 min and I was left at home feeling like a schmuck watching her kid as she took my husband home to her house to spend even more alone time with him. I was so upset I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Upon their return, I asked what they were doing over there, getting high? He said, “I knew you’d figure out what we were doing.”
      I couldn’t sleep that night I was so upset, my heart was racing and I was shaking I was so hurt.
      I demanded he stop seeing her and he has, but only because I forced him to. He thought he was doing nothing wrong as they didn’t have sex. The disrespect was so great, though. I can’t seem to get over it. Why would any husband who loves his wife treat her in this manner? I can only come up with he doesn’t love me. Now it is back to the same old routine of him coming home from work and spending the rest of the evening in his bedroom. He only sees me when he wants sex, it makes me feel so used.

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      • April 5, 2016 at 8:13 am
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        You are so much better than all this. I am sure you’re an beautiful, independent woman.. all I can tell you from experience is that never let any one walk all over you. If you don’t like something express your self, not aggressively but make your point heard. Let him know that he’s crossing the line and you are not comfortable with it. Stand up for your self and know your worth it!

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      • April 16, 2016 at 1:10 pm
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        First of all, why would you let your husband disrespect you like that. Any time a person disrespect you like that, they do not care. Another thing is, why would you let another woman come into your house and disrespect you like that.
        If you let him do you like that, he knows he can do it and will continue to do it. Put your feet down, and do not let anyone walk all over you. Could not have been me.

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      • May 31, 2016 at 5:13 pm
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        Whoa! I am so disturbed by your post. I’m so sorry that happened to you and also totally bewildered how you would even allow this to continue on. Why was she even allowed in your home while you were gone? You need to set some serious boundries of what is appropriate ina marriage and what is not. Not only that but what appropriate treatment of you is. Your husband is treating you horribly. He is 100% wrong for that, nobody deserves that, but you need to love and respect yourself. Don’t take that crap. Kick him to the curb or make sure he commits to therapy and some serious changes!

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      • July 20, 2016 at 10:55 pm
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        I’ve recently been through a very similar scenario (and I’ve only just scanbed your story here) but am now very glad I can here and will get back later to read in its entirety!

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      • August 1, 2016 at 7:31 pm
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        You try to get your true love allways truest God help u . My God bless u

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      • January 28, 2017 at 9:43 pm
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        You are WAY nicer about it than I woulda been. There is no way I would put up with a girl at my house while I was gone. Disrespectful on both their parts. And no way would I let him go hang at her house. You deserve so much better. Hope things get better for you

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      • June 5, 2017 at 7:52 pm
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        sorry for all these hapining

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      • June 19, 2017 at 3:44 pm
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        Please be calm all is going to be alright
        Seek the face of God, I believe the Almighty God will restore all that is lost

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    • June 12, 2016 at 3:57 pm
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      If you could go away together, she is wanting to hear you say she is beautiful, and her body is beautiful,etc. In Italy, the whole body is beautiful,. Be loving, and ask her if she wants to recomite, to you faithfully. But don’t take people for grantide. A licience is only what you both, choose today to put in to it. You could go seperatly to a councilor. But she needs to make a choice, to try. Blind infatuation is dangerous. Take care.

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    • June 15, 2016 at 4:37 am
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      talking to someone is not so bad after marriage,, but sending the personal pic is totally wrong way to disclose the personal life of both you and your partner… she must understand that you are her husband after all only you is the only one person in this cruel world who will always be stand with her in any situation

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    • July 5, 2016 at 4:50 am
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      I’m very sorry to hear that, you write as if you truly love her. It’s always easier when your communicating with someone who is by all accounts a stranger because they don’t see the person they’re cheating with in a realistic light. They don’t have to deal with day to day reality of kids, bills, situations, communication beyond all things floral and light all they have to do is keep things simple and feed whatever they believe your need is at the time because they are not truly invested, its much harder but much smarter to turn to the person you call husband or wife and really communicate, figure what went wrong and own your part in the breakdown because if you search your mind you will find something you could have done better and hopefully turn things around. To love someone for the rest of your life is in every way a personal choice and one you have to commit to everyday of your life and its seems since this affair of the mind begins with your spouse the ball is in her court and all you can do is assess your own behavior and hope she measures the value of the sanctity of your marriage correctly. God bless I been there and moving on isn’t the worst thing that can happen, but giving someone else the power to decide whether or not YOU get to be happy could be.

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    • August 4, 2016 at 5:40 pm
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      Ask your wife what does she wants actually in her life so think about your next decision.Cause loves can’t be insist.What she had done was not good and right.it is out of the God’s way.

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    • August 12, 2016 at 3:24 pm
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      1.please check valid proofs first.
      2.if confirmed speak with her
      3.see her priorities…explain her how much u love her ….be a saint a nd forgive her if she hadnt physical relations with the man.
      4.if u got children…………..try forgive in any condition to continue ur marriage/relations..because they suffer alot with it.
      5.if she want to continue with messaging/talking only …..neglect her …..give a time to recover from the phsycological impact for 6 months………….love her from ur heart………with tolrance……………think of ur children only /love them/care them
      6. if she goes further think of marriage counsilor…..while be very alert……..avoid physical relationships….saferrelationships………

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    • September 26, 2016 at 1:33 pm
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      Hi

      I’ve been told that my wife has been messaging a man who has just moved into the area and lives close to a mutual friend of ours. Usually my wife encourages me to go round with her for wine etc but recently she’s been going to our friends house without me stating that “it’s not really your thing tonight”
      Recently I noticed that the man’s friends, who initially were quite friendly, have stopped speaking to me in passing, often accompanied with a knowing smile. Also, friends of ours seem to now be making excuses to leave when my wife and I are together in their company. I have also notice that if we go to our local pub and guess who turns up? Plus, on the odd occasion I do go to our friends house, guess who’s there hanging round the garden?
      Recently I noticed that when the man left my friends house my wife went for a smoke chatting to him and as we left she looked up at his window and seemed to be texting, when asked she said that she wasn’t texting anyone.
      I waited until her phone was unattended and checked text and whatsapp (nothing). Finally checking Messenger I found something. Messages from the man, nothing sexual but contact, asking is she was ok and if he’d done something wrong. I approached our friend who said that they were aware that something was going on and had been for a few weeks. They also showed me a text from him to my friend asking to check on my wife as he though that me upset her. I checked again later and all Messenger entries had been deleted.
      I’m told that nothing physical has happened but the messages they are sharing would upset me.

      I feel that I have already been betrayed mentally and that our bond of trust is broken but as I haven’t got any proof I feel unable to bring up the subject. We have children and to potentially break up the family on hearsay and rumor would be stupid

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    • September 30, 2016 at 4:10 pm
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      I ran into that about 12 yrs ago and I said that you can either continue with him and I will file for divorce, or you can remember why we got married in the first place. We didn’t have any children until 13 months after we were married. If anything else, give her a taste of her own medicine. Fake an account and have similar conversations. This may sound underhanded, but this will accomplish several things. First it will tell you if that online thing is real, two she will know how you feel & three when she decided to throw it back in your face about doing the same thing just tell her that you were wishing that it was her sending you all of those replys and then show her the id’s and passwords that you made up. And finally you can tell her that you were never dreaming of anyone else except her, but make sure that you put in a few hidden pic’s of the two of you in there so you can show her as well.
      I hope that it works out for you and I hope the very best for you and your marriage.

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      • December 18, 2016 at 11:40 am
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        “An eye for an eye will make everyone blind.” – Ghandi

        Not disagreeing with your response, but i would not recommend it. It will just hurt the relationship more. You cannot even out betrayal with betrayal.

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    • October 20, 2016 at 4:45 pm
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      She seems to be in the affair fog and this is all a fantasy. He will tell her anything and everything to get what he wants and will make you out to be the bad guy. All emotional affairs become physical. I found out 6 months ago my husband of 25 yrs was having a emotional affair that had turned physical. She was just there at the right place at the right time. But if you want to save your marriage or if she wants to save your marriage then she can not continue to talk to this guy. No if ands or buts about it. Good luck to you!!

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    • November 15, 2016 at 6:41 pm
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      Oh my goodness Bryan this just happened to me, but it is my husband of 24 years, ouhc. I feel that I am so along, I am disabled & I can not do the things her does with this woman I found an email where I was the life he referred to me as wife comma and said he was at his camp and help me when she was there it was so magical and that he was very frustrated that they couldn’t be together and how much you missed her ouch that hurts so bad oh my gosh I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m all alone. I wish I had Family my parents are in heaven & his are two house to the south of us, feel free to talk anytime, I am going to see an Attorney Thursday, he is so worried because he know just what he will loss. Email anytime. And trust in God

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      • November 16, 2016 at 3:23 pm
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        Good afternoon,

        I am so sorry you are going through this.. We have a Facebook Group online- Save My Marriage Group.. I would encourage you to join for the support group.. Our members & admins are wonderful about reaching out.

        Blessings

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        • March 15, 2017 at 8:17 pm
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          Is the facebook group a private group so none of my FB friends could see I’m in it?

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          • March 20, 2017 at 4:23 pm
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            It is a private group.

            However, it is open for the public to join.

            We do a “screening” type process to everyone who request to join.

  • January 16, 2016 at 12:18 am
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    help me… i cannot live without my husband but my hurt in my relationship made me look solace to other man’s arms.
    he caught me cheating, i need to repair my marriage. help me

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    • January 21, 2016 at 9:37 pm
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      I am so sorry for what has happened. It is good that you acknowledged what you did and are willing to do what it takes to repair it. Please check out our other article titled, I’m Married but in Love with Someone Else. We have another one on how to save your marriage after an affair.

      Reply
    • June 12, 2016 at 4:07 pm
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      Why was your heart empty with him, your x. What trigered you to go elsewhere. Threw counciling you can learn why you left, for real. You can also learn why you are co_dependent on your x. You have to have it together your self first, to. Have a good relationship. Both individuals ,with their own identities. The trust can be mendid , but,it has cut into the commitment, just see if both will seperatly go get to the bottom of the problem, and forgive, and go on.

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    • July 27, 2016 at 7:26 am
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      Calm down. Put a plan together. Communication is key but you have to be accountable for the choices you have made. Ask for forgiveness ( 7 times says the Bible). That’s a start

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    • August 7, 2016 at 7:34 am
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      I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing. We believe Marriage is worth fighting for. It is your decision though. If you choose to fight for your marriage . you have to do something

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  • January 19, 2016 at 5:21 pm
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    I would like to know if my partner is having a affair.
    What are the signs. How can I know for sure. How can I confront him

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  • January 31, 2016 at 11:55 pm
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    I thinkhe is cheating. he denies it and says “you can not find anything that proves I am can you?” i8an getting ripped apart I do not know what to do.

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    • February 16, 2016 at 3:38 pm
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      I am in the same boat .. he says I should have “proof” and yet this response is just one of the “signs” that he is actually having sex with another woman .. I have proof, for myself, but he will most likely deny it .. I am interested in exchanging “survielence” times with another woman in the same situation as myself .. how to make contact though ..? This is KILLING me inside and while his actions to conceal all of this indicates he cares for me, he still is seeing this other woman and shows nothing to make me think he will give it up for the sake of us.

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      • May 18, 2016 at 4:03 am
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        Maybe he doesn’t want to stop. ..not worst than people who are wrong but, are cowards, that can’t take responsibility for their behavior.

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    • July 6, 2016 at 4:02 am
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      Hi my name is Kimberly too.. I feel compelled to answer you . I am divorced from a chronic cheater. The first sign is the fact that you are questioning. Trust your intuition. Is he secretive with his phone? Huge sign! Working late always? Weekends? Is there no intimacy when you have sex? Is he still loving towards you? Is he into a lot of porn? All of these are signs I received but still TRUST your gut.

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    • July 27, 2016 at 7:31 am
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      Watch and listen. Men cannot lie. Something he will say or do will just hm. Be understanding and try to find out if it’s even worth knowing. At some point the truth will come to light

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  • February 2, 2016 at 4:35 pm
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    Are there latent spiritual concerns after a spouse has had a past long term adulterous relationship with a practicing pagan…. and in the face of strong evidence…… denies the affair ever happened?
    In this case the non offending spouse has forgiven without a confession….but considering the THE TWO BECOME ONE during physical intimacy….. what would be the concerns for the offending spouse and the non offending spouse?

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  • February 8, 2016 at 9:40 am
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    I am so sorry for what has happened. It is good that you acknowledged what you did and are willing to do what it takes to repair it. Please check out our other article titled, I’m Married but in Love with Someone Else. We have another one on how to save your marriage after an affair.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2016 at 10:23 pm
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    My husband is cheating on me with another woman. He’ll changed in a lot of different ways. I’ve asked him plenty of times is there someone else. He’s response is always no. I know it’s someone. Please help me save my marriage.

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    • February 28, 2016 at 6:42 pm
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      I just want to say I am so sorry for every ones pain. I was in this situation a year and a half ago and I know how earth shattering and devastating it is. My husband and I had been together 15 years married for 4. For the last couple years prior to my husbands affair we had grown very distant. He did his thing and I did mine. I was very preoccupied with my father and my daughter and a full time job. My mother had passed and my father was severely depressed and I have a child with special needs who had recently had a spinal fusion for scoliosis. There was complications after surgery which landed us in the hospital for two and a half months and after my daughters ordeal and almost loosing her I had become very clingy with her. I had developed seperation anxiety. It was very hard to focus on anything except her and her needs and still try to make sure my dad was ok. I was a mess. I started seeing a therapist and after a few sessions we started duscussing my husband and I. I was told that i was placing him on the back burner and he needed me to. I thought that’s nonsense and that he understands and we have the rest of our life together. Well two weeks later I got the most shocking news of my life. He was having an affair for two months. I didn’t even see it coming. I was so preoccupied that I didn’t even see the signs and now when I look back they were there. To try to shorten this a little. I was totally devastated. Couldn’t eat couldn’t sleep. I was told by a close friend don’t do anything drastic and give it time before i make a decision. I did lots of reading and decided good or bad I’m giving it a year. We both wanted to make our marriage work. So here I am as proof a year and a half later you can make it work and even make it better. We are closer now than we have been in years. He cut off all ties with the other woman. And is very sorry for what he did to me.

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      • February 29, 2016 at 7:33 pm
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        Amazing story, Bindy! Thank you for sharing with us! WE LOVE STORIES LIKE THIS!

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      • March 14, 2016 at 8:41 pm
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        How do you know for sure that he has cut ties? I am not trying to cause problems, I just want to know. How did you stop seeing visions of the two of them when you closed your eyes? I have not slept in sooo long and am numb.

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      • July 22, 2016 at 5:21 am
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        Congratulations. What GOD has placed together, do not allow any man nor woman to put assunder

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  • February 19, 2016 at 11:28 pm
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    My husband had an affair with a woman from work . I found a receipt that he had a dinner and I was working that day and asked him about it , he denied the affair. After some time arguing and asking he finally admitted the affair . I had felt he was having an affair for sometime but he kept denying anything was going on. I have forgiven him but it is so hard to trust anything he says . She no longer works with him but I did a bad thing by calling her fiancé and telling him about what she was doing. I am so hurt and that I love him , we have been together thirty years, but I know we can work on our marriage . How can we both overcome and be positive about our marriage ? How do I forget images on my mind about her and him together? I have no one to talk to because I don’t anyone we know to know about the affair and it’s so hard to deal alone .

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    • February 22, 2016 at 6:23 pm
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      Hi Maria,

      I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Please give us a call at (615) 472- 1161. We would love to help you through all of this.

      Reply
      • August 22, 2016 at 6:54 pm
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        Hi Kim we are reconciling . Since I last posted more about the affair has come about . Also my mother passed away . My husband says he really wants to make our marriage work. He has since blocked her off Facebook and her numbers . I really love him but the the fear of finding out its a lie all over again makes me distrustful . I will be honest he is trying so hard . Has made plans to go out , went with me to a musical and has been texting me from work each day , he didn’t do that before . Am I wrong to feel this way ? Am u being a bad person by saying I trust but deep down I do not ? Do I have a right to feel this way ? Will the feeling ever go away ?

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  • February 24, 2016 at 6:11 pm
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    Hi All

    I would prefer to stay not to use my name for now ,the same thing happened to me ,with my wife – I noticed that over the passed 18 months our relationship just started drifting further and further apart .She would always tell me that she was going to guy ,or to her friend I didnt want to impose or make her feel changed in so I though so in the beginning I though not much off it and would rather not say or anything or else I was being controlling and she needed some space… at the end of December of found her with her boyfriend , it cost me everything i owned with her at home …she took my son away from me at 11:30pm at nigh and now does’nt let me see him I haven’t been able to spent time with my boy for close to two month…he had just turned 10 … she’s turned and twisted things so bad as if this was all my fault …I never hurt so much before I’ve never experienced so much pain …I’m trying to resolve things though my attorney now …the marriage is over now…..or will be soon Affairs are evil and ruin everyone life especially if you have little ones. All i can part is if you are in a relationship love your treasure your time together as nowerdays we tend to spend so much ti me at work and less time with those who we love …I wish all of you the very best regards….

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    • February 25, 2016 at 5:03 pm
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      We are so sorry to hear of your pain. Thank you for taking time & sharing your story with us.

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    • September 30, 2016 at 4:46 pm
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      I know and feel your pain, I was married for almost 20 years, but for the last 6 years I became disabled and I wasn’t able to walk without excruciating pain. I’ve had problems with my back since I was a child, yet it did not affect me until we were married for 10 years. Unfortunately due to the medication my liver was damaged due to the medication and because of my accident I couldn’t move or work. We drifted apart mostly due to my medications. But in the end she waited for my disability to come in and when she spent most of it, including our children’s college money she left. 9 days later I almost died and spent 3 months in the ICU. During that time she convinced my son that our misfortunes was due to me and I haven’t seen or spoken to him in 5 year’s, however my daughter, his twin sister saw everything that she had done so i at least have her in my life. I’m still not able to walk or work. But I keep hoping that one day my phone will ring or I will hear a knock at my door. I just hope that I live long enough for him to come around. Each Dr has an opinion about my health. I pray to the gods every day for my son to live with the regret that all of the time we could have had together. My twins turns 21 in 3 months, but at least you know that your son wants to be with you. I wish you all the best and don’t let a moment get by to be with your children.

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  • February 26, 2016 at 8:59 pm
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    My Wife cheated on me 2 years ago and I found out on Facebook. The time I went to jail in 2014. I have a Restraining order on me until April and haven’t seen our kids in 2 years. Last year she told me don’t give up on us and then as recently as February 12 the she said I dont want to be with you anymore. I haven’t had a chance to Reconcile because of the valuable time lost because if the Restraining order. I love my wife and kids and i don’t want to lose them. Is there hope? She just told my therapist a while back that she loves me. I Love my husband. Please tell me she will soften her heart back towards me and we reconcile.

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    • February 29, 2016 at 7:35 pm
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      Hi Sam,

      Give us a call at (615) 462- 1161. We can have one of our representatives talk to you more in depth about what you can do in your situation.

      Thank you for sharing with us!

      Reply
    • September 30, 2016 at 4:53 pm
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      Don’t give up Sam, and listen to your therapist he/she can help. Be patient and write to your kids too, never forget that it’s a family.

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  • March 9, 2016 at 6:56 pm
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    I found out four years ago my husband had been soliciting acts of prostitution at strip clubs for the past 15 years. We have been married for 35 years. He has treated me poorly over the years and now I see why. He has been seeing counselors one after another and claims he wants to save the marriage but does little to help the relationship and continues to lie. He is very narcissistic and tells people what he thinks they want to hear. I don’t believe he is interested in the relationship and is waiting for me to file for a divorce. I want a loving relationship that with mutual respect which I believe he is incapable.

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  • April 15, 2016 at 9:38 pm
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    I feel your pain. Mine had an inappropriate relationship with someone he met while he was working. I don’t know to this day if there was sex involved, but if it wasn’t it was close to being. I was told they were just friends…even by her but the funny thing is she was a secret….why keep your friends a secret if thats all they are?? I know it was a lie because there were too many signs pointing to an inappropriate relationship. They were VERY close to the point he was trying to set up a play date with hers and our son. I was sick and waiting to have surgery when he decided to have his fling. I started noticing how he pulled away from me when I needed him the most. He became extremely unsupportive, hateful and emotionally abandoned me when I needed him the most. The night I came home from the hospital, he went to work and left me at home with a 9 year old and I could barely walk. Now, several years later, we have separated. For about 6 months prior to his moving out, he didn’t want to be seen in public with me, other than church, then we went in separate cars. I feel like I have to make an appointment to see him and every visit, every conversation escalates into an argument. Oh, and he only wants to see me at our house….not in public. He has emotionally shut down. We have had sex 1 time in 9 months and it was void of any feelings….I felt empty afterwards. I have accused him of seeing someone, but he denies it. I don’t know how the outcome will be, but I do know that he has done NOTHING to try to work it out. He says he doesn’t want to work it out and the next time I talk to him he does. I’m very confused. I am praying for a miracle and haven’t given up totally yet, but I am close.

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  • April 23, 2016 at 7:22 pm
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    I’ve been married happily for 4 years. I’ve always asked my husband for years if he every cheated on me ever. We would laugh about it and it was always no never. I continued to ask only because I had a feeling about one girl who im not friends with but has been in our circle time to time. She has always treated me differently. Finally after 5 years of asking he said yes one night I got really drunk and we landed in a car. He clams he still doesn’t remember what all happen. It was before we got married and before we were engaged. Im torn over the years of me asking. He says it meant nothing they never talked about it again. He isn’t a drinker and even now isn’t . My heart is broken by the lies. He clams he would of never done this if alchol wasn’t involved. Trying to figure out do I forgive for all the happy years we have had. The lies is ruining it al.

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  • April 26, 2016 at 1:53 am
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    I believe my husband is cheating on me.

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  • May 2, 2016 at 4:01 pm
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    I’m not married yet, it’s on a hold now if I want to or know. This past weekend my fiance and I had a few friends over, everyone one was drinking besides me. Through the night a close buddy of mine was getting really touching with my fiance ( the only women around) and I know how he is, I watched him do the same shit to other married women including my fiance mother. As I’m used to his normal routine with this he started to grope my fiance down stairs where only I should be touching or anything. I caught him as he tried to do it and and watched my fiance as well too..it happened twice ..first time he tried she backed up from behind him and just started to dance to shake it off and act like nothing happened. Second time as I was still watching he attempted to do the same thing , this time it happenend and she seen I was watching .. she walked up to me and just asked what was the matter. I told her several of times get away as I was sincerely over the top mad and I wouldn’t know if I could control my self.
    I immediately went and grab my buddy and said u don’t know I seen u but I’ve been watching what u were doing. Things get out raged and he wants me to hit him or slap him.. I wouldn’t punch a friend but I would slap him because of his stupidity actions to cause this with my family relationship.
    After said n done he left and my fiance said nothing happened. I confronted her and told her I seen it at all. She apologized and said he was just drunk and defending him. I asked her a simple question And this is what’s leading me here today with you, I asked her if she was ever gonna tell me if I didn’t watch or seen it all. She said no!.
    I to this day is still upset with it all. I don’t belive I can trust her the same.
    Now I don’t a clean background I did some stupid stuff as well but it was texting and it was with my first love , and I only had two..ex, and my fiance now I love my fiance til death takes me away and the love for her for everything she does with our family. I’m just lost on what to do now.

    Reply
    • September 30, 2016 at 5:26 pm
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      Dude, I was the same way when I was your age, remember a marriage is about trust. If you don’t have that going into the marriage then you’re setting your self up for failure. Remember you want a wife not a slave, so if you can’t find a way to trust your own wife, then you shouldn’t get married at all. The reason why I’m telling you about this is because 3 years into my marriage my wife took the kids and split for 3 months. During that time I went through therapy for the same issues that you are talking about. Think of it this way, men are wired to provide food and protect our women and children. But because we live in the modern age we have to suppress some of our natural instincts, if not she will leave. I got lucky and she came back for 17 more years. We divorced because I became disabled and she didn’t want to care for someone who couldn’t provide. But for the 16 of those 20 years we were together we had trust and understanding. By then our children were almost 18. So from a man who has been in your shoes, learn to trust. If not then you might end up in a messy divorce.

      Reply
  • May 16, 2016 at 7:24 am
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    Hi I’m currently dealing with the pain of wanting my marriage work but my husband who has cheated on me for several years is still currently involved with the other woman (who is also in another relationship with her boyfriend/fiance). My husband isn’t totally in agreement with us reconciling. I moved out 7 moths ago due to my peace of mind was dwindling . He constantly uses me moving out as an excuse for him to continue to live married living singled. He constantly says he is unsure or he doesn’t know if he wants to repair our marriage because his mind isn’t ready. He currently is resistant to me moving back into the home. He seems to be holding on to the fact that I moved out & for him he states that was a sign that I had moved on, even though I have constantly expressed my desire to repair our marriage. He is not willing to spend time with me on a 1 on1 basis in the attempt to try to see if can reestablish our connection/friendship to see if our marriage can be repaired. NOTE: we have been disconnected for years with no intimacy . We both are guilty of not nurturing our marriage in our own way, but as his wife is found it difficult to submit to him when he didn’t honor or respect as his wife. Needless to say I just don’t want to throw my marriage away. He avoided our issues constantly during my time in the home but he found solace in another woman who herself is in a relationship. This is beyond painful for me to know that my husband is willing to settle for a piece of someone else than any part of me. I’m in between a rock and a hard place., trying to deal with the facts but my heart won’t let go. We have been together for 20+years will be married for 7yrars in August if we make to that point. We have a chikd with special needs who I am the primary carwgiver for. Considering I stand alone with us reconciling at the moment not sure if I should wait it out or just go my way. I have done all that i could ( offered for us to go to counseling, suggestons that may help us recconec, tried to communicate,,etc) Marriage takes 2 to fight. Starting to feel all hope is lost or it just isn’t meant. Trying to keep hope alive

    Reply
  • May 18, 2016 at 5:44 pm
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    At the beginning of this year I found out my husband had been talking with another girl for a long time. He was telling her he loved her, but she didn’t know he was married he told her that when I was giving birth to our now 3 year old son that I died. Our daughter didn’t even exsist to him at this time.
    She found out that he was married so she messaged me on Facebook and told me everything. When my husband got home from work I asked him about it and he straight up lied to my face about it.
    I kept asking him about it and he finally owned up to it. He told me he was sorry and he would never do it again, but then 2 months later he was talking to another girl. This new one knew about me and our two kids. This aggervates me so bad too. Well he started asking and sending very inappropriate pictures to her. I found out about her and he lied to me again about it.. I have no idea if I want to save my marriage because I feel like our marriage is just a lie.

    Reply
    • May 20, 2016 at 5:51 pm
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      I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing. We believe Marriage is worth fighting for. It is your decision though. If you choose to fight for your marriage please give us a call and we can help.

      Reply
  • May 19, 2016 at 9:42 am
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    Hiii.
    Really I am from this site. We meet lot of People from this site. it’s really good. i want to share something through this site in coming days.

    Reply
  • May 24, 2016 at 12:02 pm
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    M y husband and I have been together for 10 years. about 3 years ago I caught him lying to me and whenever I decided to investigate , it turned into a huge lie, he was actually seeing someone and it appeared to be an actual relationship. She seemed to think that they were going to be together someday. need this to stay after a long while I forgave him and also change my spiritual life my happiness has been in Jesus Christ Alone. staying focused on my spiritual relationship with JEsus taught me how to forgive, forget and 2 love and to be joyful. then about a year-and-a-half ago I discovered that my husband was actually talking to someone who worked at our local grocery store I don’t think that that went veryFar or actually became physical but I am unsure. he proceeded to tell me just how much he loved me and that he doesn’t want to lose me and that he wants to work everything out with me of course I was devastated but then again my spiritual growth was so strong and something was telling me to work it out with him and so here I am again. yesterday he picked me up for lunch and a mysterious number called his phone. He answered the phone and kept saying hello? Hello? Hello? And according to him no one said anything so then I told him to call the number back to see who it was and apparently no one answered. I asked him what the number was and he gave me the number all except for one number was incorrect but then she called back and it all just seem to very played out. Why would he give me the incorrect phone number in the first place? Also I need to mention that my husband works out of town every two weeks he is gone for 2 weeks so I decided that I was going to investigate the phone number and come to find out it is some chick that lives in the town where he works. I have not said anything to him about finding out who this chick is but I did request her on Facebook I don’t know what to do from here I just feel like this is a vicious cycle that will never end and I want to be happy and be with someone who truly genuinely cares and is committed we have a lot to lose by getting a divorce so right now I am just hurt because I don’t want to go through this again

    Reply
    • May 24, 2016 at 6:29 pm
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      I am so very sorry you are going through this.. If you would like extra support during this time please consider joining our Facebook Group..

      Here is the link… https://www.facebook.com/groups/783603618395431/

      It’s a group of people going through very similar situations that help support each other during these trying times.

      Reply
  • May 26, 2016 at 2:15 am
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    My wife and I have been together now for almost 11 years we have 4 beautiful children together . About 2 years ago I lost my job again and drew my unemployment. Thought it would be a good time to enjoy my newborn baby and my 1yr old. After I made this decision my wife picked up extra hours at work. She became bitter that she was doing all the work. Then she started hanging out with the lady that she used to not like at work.at first it was just an he or so.then she started turning the gps on her phone off. I would ask her where she was and wait for a reply. She would tell me that she was over at Charlie’s. Through google maps I could see that she wasn’t. So I was suspicious that she was lying. I thought she might have another phone.never could find it. So then I downloaded an app on her phone where I could see through her camera. And another to see messages.when I finally used the apps I saw her leaving a bar. I saw her depositing money.when I saw the receipts there was no transaction in her account for the receipt. So I viewed the messages.she must have gotten there before I did because the messages that were suppose to show up were deleted. She Denys any wrong doing but the signs are there the quick temper the bitterness and resentment the loss of sexual activity she start wearing earrings and getting stuff almost every day from some friend she said.buying Victoria secret saying that they had a sale. I’m so tired of this but I can’t catch her. I just wonder if she really is or if her I don’t knows are truthful.how can I find out.

    Reply
  • July 24, 2016 at 1:48 pm
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    I have cheated on my wife.

    Reply
  • July 27, 2016 at 12:07 pm
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    My husband is cheating on me for so long. Now this is his fifth girl friend. He says that he will do this again and again. He is breaking my heart. Most of the nights he sleeps at her place. I don’t want to loose him. Please give me an advice

    Reply
    • August 15, 2016 at 5:06 pm
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      Munjia Rizvi, why are u still with him??

      Reply
      • October 6, 2016 at 7:54 am
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        I am still with him because I love him. And also I will be left alone if I loose him. I am 47years old and iam an indian. I have 3children and I am leaving in Seychelles. Islands. I don’t. Want to loose my husband at the age of 47. I don’t want to end up single. I want a home with my husband. It is 25years of marriage. When he is with me he hugs me we have sex. But he wants to spend most of the time with his girlfriend. Please advice me

        Reply
  • September 13, 2016 at 6:08 am
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    10 years of marriage. There was quarrel n love. 6 months before she started neglecting & rejecting me on bed. Later she was caught talking to other man. Have talked to her many times but still no response on positive note.
    It has become difficult for me to live without her physically. My nature has become irritated now. I lost control over myself now. I loose my calm often when she doesn’t allow me come closer.

    Reply
  • September 13, 2016 at 8:33 am
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    My husband admitted to an affair with our common friend who is. Seasoned one wrecker. She used, all tricks and mind games when he decided to break off. He told me he have already decided to come back to me ad our kids.. However, he can’t be too hrsh on her as she is in depression. He said if she still message him, he will reply but only as a friend. How can I move on when there is still a possibility of them talking to each other. I wanted very much to trust him, not think of her and just move on to rebuild my relationship with him.. It’s just so difficult. Will be days where I pissed him by crying, making unreasonable inferences to that woman or questioning his intentions again? Any methods I can try to refrain from doing that?

    Reply
  • October 31, 2016 at 9:52 am
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    My wife is a having an emotional affair with an ex colleague in fact she is addicted to having emotional affairs with male colleagues. If I ask her about it then she says they are just friends. She has worked at 7 different companies needles to say she had 7 emotional affairs. I have seen text messages, whatsapp text and emails which was very sexual with what the going to do to each other. She travels every month for work purposes and I have seen an email to one of her ex colleaagues to meet up. Apparently the guy is now divorce and they have made arrangement to meet up 15-18 November 2016. Ho wdo I deal with this situation????

    Reply
  • December 4, 2016 at 1:18 pm
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    Hi, I am married for 5 years now me and my husband r from different caste I am Christian my husband is Hindu,and it’s been 2 to 3 years now we are having so much problems in our relationship, regarding small small things my husband he gets angry very easily, before marriage he was not like this as days pass its become hard for me to understand him. And I kind to let it go now I don’t seems to care anymore ..I can feel the distance between us. My husband travelled alot ,before I used to feel sad but now I feel am happy when he is not around I feel gud from deep within. I want help or advice is it normal to feel this way it’s come to a point I don’t mind if he decide to leave me. Am I being selfish. Is it normal

    Reply
  • March 24, 2017 at 8:05 pm
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    My husband blurted out over a year ago that he no longer love me and that he was having an affair with a much younger woman who lives out of state my problem with this is a I do believe he’s going through a midlife crisis of the believe that he is struggling with everything that he’s doing that he’s not thinking clearly yet he’s already filed for dissolution paperwork I have yet to fill mine out I do not want to fill them out but I am losing hope you keeps harping on a plane and going to visit her. Help

    Reply
    • March 28, 2017 at 3:57 pm
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      I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.

      Have you read our articles on limerence?

      I would strongly encourage you to look into our Save My Marriage Online Course.

      It is a course devoted to teaching the standing spouse how to create the environment to save their marriage.

      Please call us if you have any questions. 615-472-1161

      Reply

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