My wife wants out of our Marriage but I’m not a controlling person. I’m about as far from controlling as they get. I’m not sure why she wants out. There was no affair going on when she first moved out a few years ago but she is in an affair now.
My wife after 7 years told me she just felt like we were roommates and said your an awesome roommate but I’m just done and mentally checked out a few years ago.
When she told me I said why? She said there is no affection and romance.
Well first of all she is in marketing and management so about 70% of the time she would come home from work including week ends and sit on couch and say I’ve got to get this report done.
So when she would do that I’d be sitting there all bored and just fall asleep or go. Drive around.
She also was married for 13 years before me and has had issues with men walking out of her and her kids like. Her kids biological dad walked away then her hub end that raised the kid walked away because she saw him on her best friends couch together. Then her dad after 42 years of marriage left her mom when we were getting together. I said hey lets go to counseling she finally agreed but wanted to meet with the counselor 2 sessions alone before I got to come into a session.
After a few sessions it was still all me that had to change and she was fine. She said you can’t move back in until you have a mentor and are going to counseling
Finally I said hey if you can’t recognize that you are part of this marriage and that you’re basing your love on if I do this or not then you don’t really love me so go ahead and let’s turn in paperwork together.
Even our Pastor said it sounds like she is a control person and if so its her that needs to make some changes and learn how to love you unconditionally. So when I told her that she says will you help me pay for half of the divorce…. Anyways we will be final at the end of this month August 2016.
I figure if 2 both spouses don’t give 100% then just let her walk away and either turn in paperwork together or just do it yourself.
At least you have an opportunity to go to some counseling I didn’t even get that she just left… I told her let’s go and get some spiritual or biblical counseling and she can go in and tell her side first but she just flat out refused… I’m at a point with mine because she’s been gone over a year it’s in God’s hands
thats is true?
I’m in the same situation except for she just moved out and filed for divorce two.months ago after only a year and a half. Devastating and she won’t even talk much less pray or seek restoration so.i have no idea and you’re right, I have to release it to God but it’s just so shocking!
I’m in the same situation. Mine left almost a year ago. Wouldnt even try counseling! We had some problems but nothing major. Nothing that couldn’t be worked out. I pray every day that she had a change of heart. I made a lot of personal changes since then for the better. The biggest being going to church and praying. I don’t know what else to do.
Yeah – no. None of the answers to those questions allowed me to proceed. None applied.
I have been abandoned by my husband He won’t talk to me at all What should I do
Take a look at this article..
Hey I suffered the same thing with my husband, he withdrew from me mentally and then physically. The sad part is you can’t force them to talk. However, you can fix you….;go get some therapy or counseling because if he never checks back in then you are going to need to be prepared for that. However, prayer works and I know its hard to be silent but don’t make any major moves until you seek counseling and get some type of peace in your spirit. There could possibly be something major going on in him or he is wrestling with telling you how he really feels. Please don’t make any assumptions or try to figure it out because it will drive you crazy. Live your life and get some help for you.
Hello: I stumbled upon this website just sitting here thinking how to rebuild and start over. The back and forth has been going on for almost a year and I recently found out that there have been numerous affairs over the course of the 8 years together. Unfortunately, we have kids together, otherwise I would just disappear and change my number. I guess now, I have to figure out how to remain cordially when I have so much disdain and hurt…. I rather not have to see or here from him ever again. Is that wrong? How do I not let this affect the kids???
I am so sorry you are going through this..
Give us a call so we can help you out.. 615-472-1161
Go on with your life! If you are a Christian you gotta pray for him to return, if he is marry or has a new relationship (even with children), better try do start again, do not involve with someone SO quickly. Remember we are vulnerable at this point, easy pray to predators!
I’m married & moved out the home almost a yr ago finding out my husband was & still is committing adultery with someone who is also herself in another relationdhp. I still was willing to move forward and to repair our marriage but of course as mentioned above he’s still actively involved. He even spends time with our child & the other woman or women possibly & hasn’t ever really spent family time with us when we were in the home (extremely hurtful). My husband most recently after almost a year of me being in limbo on rather or not if he wanted to divorce, stated that he feels that after we can afford to divorce we should. I replied “if you want the divorce then you arrange & pat for it”. I have in the past asked to return back to his home due to us having a child with autism who’ll be starting a new school & financial stability but he rejected the idea. Most recently I lost my job so this definiteky adds,another component of stress. It’s disheartening to know that my husband/father of our child as only offered words of encouragement but no viable support in this situation . I’m too stressed out heartbroken but I most move forward because I have a precious life that ultimately is depending on me so I can’t focus on my hurt. You certainly can’t make someone want to be with u & I am not trying. It is disgusting to me that I’m even married to someone who can knowingly see their family struggle & do nothing. This is also an embarrassment that he is a representation of me. I still love him & was hopeful that he’d be willing to repair our marriage, obviously that’s not my reality. All hope is gone and it’s time to move on (difficult to let go but I have to).
Love you, may you find the strength t carry on!
Same situation… Broken and sad
I had an affair on my husband 15 years ago and he said God told him to stay with me but our marriage hasn’t been good since and now he jas had an affair and doesn’t want to give her up he says he loves us both what should I do
My hubby n i been married for 6 years and been to 3 marriage counseling.. I feel its time to give up.. Im so sick of all the drama in our marriage. Im also on the transplant list 4 a kidney and its hard to do everything n still fight… Im drainned, i dont know how much fighting i have in me left…
My folks to fix it… I dont know what else to do….
Trust God… and seek him
Please focus on taking care of yourself (mentally, physically & spiritually). I wouldn’t recommend making any life changing decision at this time (of course the decision is solely yours to make). I concur with Allen to trust & seek God. I’ll lift you & your family up in prayer.
My came to me and said she wanted a divorce. I thought it was a joke. The look on her face told me differently. When I asked why, all she said was “I just don’t love you anymore” What??? We never had a fight in 4 years of marriage. I thought we were going to be together forever. We were unseperable. We liked the same things. We just talked about our vacation away next month the night before she told me she wanted a divorce.
I’m so lost and confused.
I am so sorry for your pain, Tim. Our Save My Marriage Course could be very beneficial to you during this time.. Please check out http://www.marriagehelper.com/savemymarriage to learn more about it.
Hi im Christy! We are married for22 yrs blessed with wondeerful kids, 20 and 15 yrs old. We are believers, there is a problem, my hubby is often into affairs i dont know how many, he doesnt find it wrong i suppose, every time i find out he feels sorry and changes, but very soon he gets another one, most of these are passtime activities, but im hurt. what do i do/
Don’t get it wrong he’s not a believer. Believers makes mistakes sometimes but if you live in that sin you’re not a believer. To be a believer is to live in Christ. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and to depart from evil the beginning of understanding”
My husband is having an affair with another women, I didn’t knew about that ..few days a ago I got to know.he is behaving very bad with us I have 5 children and he doest even care about us I don’t know what to do , can u pleas help me out!..
My husband is having an affair from a long time but I got to know about it few days ago he spend his money on dat women and doesn’t care about us ..I don’t know what to do ..that women keeps calling my husband and my husband even don’t talk withd me nor with my children ..can u please advise me so dat I can get rid of my husband’s affair …help me
I am so very sorry to hear this.. My heart goes out to you & your children.. Is he willing to attend our 911 Workshop? Please click here for a list of dates/locations..
If he isn’t willing to do attend I would strongly encourage you to join our Save My Marriage Course. It’s a 10 Week Course devoted to the standing spouse. It’s also going to teach you how to create the environment to save you marriage. There is also a separate part of the course (The Affair Toolkit) that deals with affairs specifically.
Don’t want separation with my husband. But he wants… reason his mother… She doesn’t want me and specially my son. Yes this is our second marriage he has two daughters and me a son … After 10months he is saying your son I can’t afford so manage or keep with anyone and if you can come alone but when will come then keep in mind my mother’s Torcher will increase than earlier. My son faced so many bad experiences so he also doesn’t want go back.
Tell me can you help…. Please
My husband is insisting on divorce me after 9 years of marriage..initially I didn’t think he was serious but then when he started to insist me doing divorce papers and make arrangements I realized what was really happening. I was hurt broken when he said to me’ I don’t love you anymore…etc’. He is being cruel, not leaving the house and time after time asking me to do it. I have nowhere to go and I have no friends or relatives, I left my job and family in my home country to join him in UK. I do every thing possible to avoid talking to him and do not want to see him. He has turned into a real monster, only thinking of his welfare and money..this is hurting me too much. I have said to him if you are in a rush just go submit the petition but obviously he wants first to have a convenient financial agreement before it. It is my first marriage while his is third and we have no children and I need some advice to find the right route for me but he is only caring for himself and does want to give me time to find a solicitor or get any advice.
I am so sorry you are going through this.. We know how hard it is.. We offer a Save My Marriage Group on Facebook that would offer you tons of support during this time.. Please take a minute to look it up.
I’m sorry to hear your story and I totally feel for you. I’m in similar situation and if you believe in yourself, things will get better. Trust me. Whatever doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.
My wife and I get along great., however everyday stresses like four children, business commitments and elderly parents are always demanding our time. We have no time for each other. Money is tight so getting away is not an option . When we do leave for a day all she does is think about the work she needs to do when she gets home and the problems the kids are going through. I had to spend time with my elderly parents until one of my other siblings could take over. When I returned I found out that she had found her “soul mate”. Thirty two years now at a crossroad.
She has given up on the church that we both attended since we were married and raised our children in.
My wife and I will start the process of divorcingeach other after 15yrs. I blame her brother. Hes been living with us for a few years now. He works 3 hours a day. Doesnt help out at all with house duties. He hoards dishes in his room. When hes done he piles them up in the sink. He uses my towels as a floor matt. He leaves beer botlles all over, pees all over the toilet. My wife protects him a lot. He met a girl back in may on memorial weekend at a rave. Next day brings her over stays for 2 months and gets worse. I decided to stomp my feet and cuase of that it jeopardizing my marriage. Im i in the right to say enough is enough?
Everyone has a right to set boundaries. We have a WONDERFUL podcast on that!
Check out http://www.marriageradio.com to listen to it!
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