Marriage Help for Marriage Problems and Issues
My wife wants out of our Marriage but I’m not a controlling person. I’m about as far from controlling as they get. I’m not sure why she wants out. There was no affair going on when she first moved out a few years ago but she is in an affair now.
My wife after 7 years told me she just felt like we were roommates and said your an awesome roommate but I’m just done and mentally checked out a few years ago.
When she told me I said why? She said there is no affection and romance.
Well first of all she is in marketing and management so about 70% of the time she would come home from work including week ends and sit on couch and say I’ve got to get this report done.
So when she would do that I’d be sitting there all bored and just fall asleep or go. Drive around.
She also was married for 13 years before me and has had issues with men walking out of her and her kids like. Her kids biological dad walked away then her hub end that raised the kid walked away because she saw him on her best friends couch together. Then her dad after 42 years of marriage left her mom when we were getting together. I said hey lets go to counseling she finally agreed but wanted to meet with the counselor 2 sessions alone before I got to come into a session.
After a few sessions it was still all me that had to change and she was fine. She said you can’t move back in until you have a mentor and are going to counseling
Finally I said hey if you can’t recognize that you are part of this marriage and that you’re basing your love on if I do this or not then you don’t really love me so go ahead and let’s turn in paperwork together.
Even our Pastor said it sounds like she is a control person and if so its her that needs to make some changes and learn how to love you unconditionally. So when I told her that she says will you help me pay for half of the divorce…. Anyways we will be final at the end of this month August 2016.
I figure if 2 both spouses don’t give 100% then just let her walk away and either turn in paperwork together or just do it yourself.
At least you have an opportunity to go to some counseling I didn’t even get that she just left… I told her let’s go and get some spiritual or biblical counseling and she can go in and tell her side first but she just flat out refused… I’m at a point with mine because she’s been gone over a year it’s in God’s hands
thats is true?
I’m in the same situation except for she just moved out and filed for divorce two.months ago after only a year and a half. Devastating and she won’t even talk much less pray or seek restoration so.i have no idea and you’re right, I have to release it to God but it’s just so shocking!
I’m in the same situation. Mine left almost a year ago. Wouldnt even try counseling! We had some problems but nothing major. Nothing that couldn’t be worked out. I pray every day that she had a change of heart. I made a lot of personal changes since then for the better. The biggest being going to church and praying. I don’t know what else to do.
im in same boat… my husband has just turned round and said that hhewants out of the relationship… i said fine,, im unhappy but he is so closed and wont speak to me about anything, he always says there nothing to say and has been like this for past 4 years … we have only been wed 18 month… im 50 , its my first marriage… i feel such a failure…
Have you and your husband looked into any marriage help?? Our 3 day workshop could truly help y’all through this difficult time! Please let us know if you have any questions!
Continue to go to church and put all of your faith in God. We cannot make people that do not want to stay stay and we in all honesty shouldn’t. What kind of relationship would that be? Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. Stay strong and please remember to love yourself as well as God first and foremost. A lot of people that do not love themselves go into relationships trying to love another.. it just doesn’t work.
My husband decided after 10 months of marriage to tell me he doesn’t feel the same anymore, that we have grown apart… He says he doesnt love me and he hasnt loved me for the past 5 months… He has been out of the house for 9 days, telling everyone we are divorced, talking and hitting up my girl cousins, out partying and meanwhile i am 8 months into my pregnancy and he decides he doesnt want me.. He only wants our son.. I asked him for counseling something to make our marriage work, and he said no. He was done and doesnt want to come back. Im so lost and hurt.. And the thing that confused me most, is the fact that we never stopped being sexual.. And when i asked why he still slept with me if he didnt love me he said he felt bad bcuz i was big and pregnant… This man ive loved for so long, turned into someone i dont even know anymore, he has no sympathy towards the way he talks to me.. He treats me like im no body… Just some girl he got pregnant 😭
How is it going? Did things get resolved
Yes, We have to leave things to GOD.I am sorry for your situation. I got married to am man that was very good with words and I believed him. . We were not intimate before marriage . I am Christian. However after marriage he told me that he did not love me but I was smart and good with money and he needed someone to take care of him. He has been very abusive and I have had enough . I love the LORD and I know that this is not what HE wants for me. It has been eleven years of stress. For the past four years I sleep in a guest room in my house. I have a good relationship with my LORD. He has been in therapy many times. . I leave it in GOD’S hands. God Bless you all!
I feel your frustration….I have been married for 28 years & now my husband wants a divorce with NO marriage counseling what so ever….I believe that he is in an affair BUT he denies it…Doesn’t matter, I KNOW HE IS….IT hurts. But I’m accepting GOD’S WILL….
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this…
I’m sorry. My husband of 20 years is in the same denial. But he s texting n hiding. We have 2 little boys. I don’t know what to do. Help! He doesn’t want to stop texting. He told me .
I am sorry you are going through this Ana. We have been together 27 and he said the same thing. It hurts so much. I have a wonderful church God has put in place for me.
Wow! It’s amazing how similar that is to my situation! My wife told me 6 months ago she was doing some work with her mother 1 day, then the next day she said “it’s not finished. Hopefully tomorrow”. A few days later, her gramps came by with a letter, telling me “she’s staying with her mom for the winter”!! Well.. ALMOST 6 MONTHS OF A LOT OF “DO THIS, DO THAT”, LATER, she said she’s “going to find a way to get the money, & you better just sign the papers when due time comes”!! She had me give her so much money, & took my tax papers to a friend to do them, then spent all the money!!!! We have been talking, on & off, but since then, she bought a new phone, & refuses to give me the #. I can only email her, now, & she “only checks them every few days”!!!! I AM SERIOUSLY DEPRESSED!!!!
Unfortunately we live in a plastic society ( believe me it is this way everywhere but at different levels) in which you throw away things that are used or just don’t work the way u want them to anymore. I am a muslim woman in Saudi Arabia, I stumbled upon this website while doing research about my husbands lack of affection. To make a marriage work, it takes sacrifice and belief that there is a life after death. The uncomfortable struggles that we accompany with patience and gratitude in life will be rewarded in the next. Even if I don’t like my husband; I can love him as a brother or, if u will, like a priest or a nun of the church. It is like u hate the sin but not the sinner. I am a housewife that spends much of my time in the home or on my property. I use prayer for asking God to make me His (Allah) patient and grateful servant. I can not change my husband, but only my inner self. To make a paradise in my heart.
Well said 🙂
hello… I’m sorry about your struggles.. ask Jesus to help you; He is real and He will help if you ask sincerely\. God bless you
Very well said I well use this is my life thank you
I’ve been married to a Muslim man for 19 yrs. I would fall asleep every night with my hand on his head asking Jesus to speak truth into his life. He is now a new creation touched and saved by jesus himself. If the lord will do that for me he can do it for you. He was raised a certain way how to treat me and he’s finally set free from that bondage and loves the lord first and me second…which has made him into the most loving caring man created. It’s a miracle and jesus is God who loves and paid the price to fix it all. Ask jesus for wisdom…even in a dream or vision. He’s faithful I promise! It’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong…it’s about just asking and knowing that you know that you know Truth. Fix yourself on jesus and he will work a miracle in your husband and you too.
Father God I pray for Shakir and her family lord. That you would bring a miracle in her life…an unexplainable unconditional love for you Jesus. That she would experience you lord in a way that would free her from any form of bondage, generational curses, deception, lies, fears and confusion. That she can experience you in a new way…you are Lord! King of the universe! If you can make all this is 6 days you can fix this. I will not limit you to what can be done in this world! Thank you jesus for your love and your holy spirit you paid it all God. Pour it out on this young lady lord!!! Satan crushed! !
thank you thank you thank you father God in jesus holy and most precious name we lay all things at your feet. Amen
I am about to get divorced (again) at 57. My husband is very controlling and threatens to take things away from me or his step daughter if he doesn’t get his way. He promised me he would go to counseling if we ever needed it, but now he refuses to. I can’t bow to his demands, controlling paranoia so here I am again, embarrassed at another filed marriage, scared to be alone again (I don’t know anyone else in this city), and have little money. I am afraid I won’t meet anyone who is available at my age in future. I want lasting,warm, loving marriage with someone willing to fight for it f things get shaky.
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I am in similar. My husband gets made if I try to make money, go out with friends or family. He gets to control everything I do by manipulation. I have an 8 yr old by another man. I have only been married three years but I am going crazy. He is crazy and drilling and now I don’t know to get away from him. I have a kid and no job, I feel so trapped. I have prayed and begged God for help.
Not sure what to do now.
Well I had to do it after 20 yrs together lost everything to each other my husband left me. We were married 8yrs have a 7 almost 8 year old. Moved in my what thought was a friend 12 yrs younger than us he left me for her 3 weeks after my 2nd miscarriage almost 2 yrs to the date from our first. He left for 2 weeks to see if he wanted to be a dad husband then came home all my fault done with me hasn’t been in love with me for 10 yrs. I said so we can create 3 children together and only one makes it and we r friends with benefits to u he said yes. And the baby sitter should him that. It was 8 months ago now he is at the snow with our son and her and all her 20 yr old friends for his 35th B-Day tomorrow.
Hi my husband left me a week a go
I am so sorry to hear that… Our hearts go out to you.
I am a wife who wanted to leave. I wanted to leave because I didn’t feel special anymore. I didn’t feel like we were anything other than room mates. I had an affair that was short and with someone I didn’t really know, but I felt special. I really needed that from my spouse. We fought but we’re finally able to talk and I broke down and told him that I am still just an insecure little girl at heart. I crave his attention. He said I am the best thing that ever happened to him, but he was sorry that he just expected me to know that. Everyone loves differently. I am learning to be more sensitive to his love language, but he is endeavoring to learn how to meet my needs. We have been together for almost 10 years. I hope this helps someone!
I am glad that you told your husband exactly what you needed. My husband did not tell me – he chose to go find it somewhere else.
My husband left my 15yr old daughter and I in the middle of the night while we were sleeping and then filed for divorce the next day. I know in my head that it is better cause my daughter and I couldn’t do anything we wanted to do without getting yelled at, but I still feel like crap. I have no family or friends here. We are isolated and I am trying to hold it together for her but. Once the divorce is final he wants the house back and I have no say in it cause we were buying it from his mother.
This broke my heart. I am so sorry for you and your daughter’s pain. I want to encourage you to join our Save My Marriage Facebook Group. There we have people going through similar situations that can offer you advice & support.
Sorry to hear that
Ok guys let me tell me story im 21 its 2017 I met my wife when I was 18 she was 25 had 2kids and a place to stay she made me feel so special when ever one forgot about me I chased her like no other I wanted her so bad she finally gave me a chance and we made so many things happen in the 3 years we have been together we now have a Lil girl to add with our 2older boys we got married 7 27 16 that is also the date me stared dating a year b4 idk what went wrong we where so happy everything we did together had a best friend a soul mate we where a happy family like the ones you see on TV……… Then one day she woke up and just stared yelling and yelling about everything every little thing no matter how small and would fight and be mad at me for day id try everything to get threw to her but she would be like ok let’s try and would never change would be mad about something right after we made up like the same night. And now all we do is fight everyday she’s a stay home mom babysit sits to im a full time worker 5 days a week 8hours a day and I costly have to leave work BC she misses me or she needs something and if I don’t shell be so mad I can’t do it no more I wanna leave so bad but I can’t let go of us I really wanna no what I should do… Please help me… I just wanna be happy.
Yeah – no. None of the answers to those questions allowed me to proceed. None applied.
I have been abandoned by my husband He won’t talk to me at all What should I do
Take a look at this article..
Hey I suffered the same thing with my husband, he withdrew from me mentally and then physically. The sad part is you can’t force them to talk. However, you can fix you….;go get some therapy or counseling because if he never checks back in then you are going to need to be prepared for that. However, prayer works and I know its hard to be silent but don’t make any major moves until you seek counseling and get some type of peace in your spirit. There could possibly be something major going on in him or he is wrestling with telling you how he really feels. Please don’t make any assumptions or try to figure it out because it will drive you crazy. Live your life and get some help for you.
Hello: I stumbled upon this website just sitting here thinking how to rebuild and start over. The back and forth has been going on for almost a year and I recently found out that there have been numerous affairs over the course of the 8 years together. Unfortunately, we have kids together, otherwise I would just disappear and change my number. I guess now, I have to figure out how to remain cordially when I have so much disdain and hurt…. I rather not have to see or here from him ever again. Is that wrong? How do I not let this affect the kids???
I am so sorry you are going through this..
Give us a call so we can help you out.. 615-472-1161
This is exactly how I feel. If we didn’t have 3 children I would be gone. I am so angry all the time!!
thats good advice… and it partly applies to my situation… i feel so alone at the moment , the time of year doesnt help plus the fact he is on holiday at home now for the next 3 weeks. he says he is leaving… or one of is after xmas, i live 200 miles from my home town, so have no support here… im thinking of going to the local church for some strength, i have not been a church goer fo 38 years… but i need to talk to someone… i feel like i am going crazy sometimes
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.. Are you a member of our Save My Marriage Facebook Group? It offers a GREAT support team and you can talk with people going through extremely similar situations as yours..
Go on with your life! If you are a Christian you gotta pray for him to return, if he is marry or has a new relationship (even with children), better try do start again, do not involve with someone SO quickly. Remember we are vulnerable at this point, easy pray to predators!
I’m married & moved out the home almost a yr ago finding out my husband was & still is committing adultery with someone who is also herself in another relationdhp. I still was willing to move forward and to repair our marriage but of course as mentioned above he’s still actively involved. He even spends time with our child & the other woman or women possibly & hasn’t ever really spent family time with us when we were in the home (extremely hurtful). My husband most recently after almost a year of me being in limbo on rather or not if he wanted to divorce, stated that he feels that after we can afford to divorce we should. I replied “if you want the divorce then you arrange & pat for it”. I have in the past asked to return back to his home due to us having a child with autism who’ll be starting a new school & financial stability but he rejected the idea. Most recently I lost my job so this definiteky adds,another component of stress. It’s disheartening to know that my husband/father of our child as only offered words of encouragement but no viable support in this situation . I’m too stressed out heartbroken but I most move forward because I have a precious life that ultimately is depending on me so I can’t focus on my hurt. You certainly can’t make someone want to be with u & I am not trying. It is disgusting to me that I’m even married to someone who can knowingly see their family struggle & do nothing. This is also an embarrassment that he is a representation of me. I still love him & was hopeful that he’d be willing to repair our marriage, obviously that’s not my reality. All hope is gone and it’s time to move on (difficult to let go but I have to).
Love you, may you find the strength t carry on!
Same situation… Broken and sad
I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with a woman form the same church. I has just lost my job then. I exposed him and the woman to the church elders, got angry and separated from him for 9 months. God blessed me with a job and a second better paying job. He came back, apologized and we are together again. I do not love him anymore nor can I make love to him like I would before. I have no feelings for him anymore.
Before we reconciled I told him that we should divorce – he refused. I booked and appointment for a blood test with the clinic for HIV/AIDS.
He does all the right things now. He looks after me and our children. My husband has resorted to devoting his time doing God’s work at church. Has shown feelings of remorse and is repenting. I know he has been cheating since we started dating, but it is the first time – he has been caught. I discovered SMSs and pictures of the woman he was cheating with in his phone as he forgot to lock it once. I know he was having unprotected sex with her. I got answers about all his changed behavior, where they met and I exposed him to her husband and to church. My husband’s dignity and image was tarnished at church. The woman left the church since. I prayed and asked God to save my marriage.
I had an affair on my husband 15 years ago and he said God told him to stay with me but our marriage hasn’t been good since and now he jas had an affair and doesn’t want to give her up he says he loves us both what should I do
My hubby n i been married for 6 years and been to 3 marriage counseling.. I feel its time to give up.. Im so sick of all the drama in our marriage. Im also on the transplant list 4 a kidney and its hard to do everything n still fight… Im drainned, i dont know how much fighting i have in me left…
My folks to fix it… I dont know what else to do….
Trust God… and seek him
Please focus on taking care of yourself (mentally, physically & spiritually). I wouldn’t recommend making any life changing decision at this time (of course the decision is solely yours to make). I concur with Allen to trust & seek God. I’ll lift you & your family up in prayer.
My came to me and said she wanted a divorce. I thought it was a joke. The look on her face told me differently. When I asked why, all she said was “I just don’t love you anymore” What??? We never had a fight in 4 years of marriage. I thought we were going to be together forever. We were unseperable. We liked the same things. We just talked about our vacation away next month the night before she told me she wanted a divorce.
I’m so lost and confused.
I am so sorry for your pain, Tim. Our Save My Marriage Course could be very beneficial to you during this time.. Please check out http://www.marriagehelper.com/savemymarriage to learn more about it.
Hi im Christy! We are married for22 yrs blessed with wondeerful kids, 20 and 15 yrs old. We are believers, there is a problem, my hubby is often into affairs i dont know how many, he doesnt find it wrong i suppose, every time i find out he feels sorry and changes, but very soon he gets another one, most of these are passtime activities, but im hurt. what do i do/
I feel your pain my husband of 3 years also seem to think having affairs is the most normal thing in the world. no matter how many times i have caught him out, hes only sorry for a while than he starts again. i now think i’m at the point of leaving i just have to gather the strength to do so. i have he humiliates me every chance he gets and he has no remorse at all. he lives a single life while he is suppose to be married. i have done all i could through out and now i think i have hit a dead end, at times he lives as if i don t even exist, i use to talk to family members but nothing helped and now i feel my best option is just to leave and never look back. our anniversary means nothing to him not to mention my birthday its like i’m imposing my self on him and i can no longer live feeling unwanted it hurts way to much to stay. i’m literally married to myself.
My husband is having an affair with another women, I didn’t knew about that ..few days a ago I got to know.he is behaving very bad with us I have 5 children and he doest even care about us I don’t know what to do , can u pleas help me out!..
My husband is having an affair from a long time but I got to know about it few days ago he spend his money on dat women and doesn’t care about us ..I don’t know what to do ..that women keeps calling my husband and my husband even don’t talk withd me nor with my children ..can u please advise me so dat I can get rid of my husband’s affair …help me
I am so very sorry to hear this.. My heart goes out to you & your children.. Is he willing to attend our 911 Workshop? Please click here for a list of dates/locations..
If he isn’t willing to do attend I would strongly encourage you to join our Save My Marriage Course. It’s a 10 Week Course devoted to the standing spouse. It’s also going to teach you how to create the environment to save you marriage. There is also a separate part of the course (The Affair Toolkit) that deals with affairs specifically.
Don’t want separation with my husband. But he wants… reason his mother… She doesn’t want me and specially my son. Yes this is our second marriage he has two daughters and me a son … After 10months he is saying your son I can’t afford so manage or keep with anyone and if you can come alone but when will come then keep in mind my mother’s Torcher will increase than earlier. My son faced so many bad experiences so he also doesn’t want go back.
Tell me can you help…. Please
My husband is insisting on divorce me after 9 years of marriage..initially I didn’t think he was serious but then when he started to insist me doing divorce papers and make arrangements I realized what was really happening. I was hurt broken when he said to me’ I don’t love you anymore…etc’. He is being cruel, not leaving the house and time after time asking me to do it. I have nowhere to go and I have no friends or relatives, I left my job and family in my home country to join him in UK. I do every thing possible to avoid talking to him and do not want to see him. He has turned into a real monster, only thinking of his welfare and money..this is hurting me too much. I have said to him if you are in a rush just go submit the petition but obviously he wants first to have a convenient financial agreement before it. It is my first marriage while his is third and we have no children and I need some advice to find the right route for me but he is only caring for himself and does want to give me time to find a solicitor or get any advice.
I am so sorry you are going through this.. We know how hard it is.. We offer a Save My Marriage Group on Facebook that would offer you tons of support during this time.. Please take a minute to look it up.
I’m sorry to hear your story and I totally feel for you. I’m in similar situation and if you believe in yourself, things will get better. Trust me. Whatever doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.
My wife and I get along great., however everyday stresses like four children, business commitments and elderly parents are always demanding our time. We have no time for each other. Money is tight so getting away is not an option . When we do leave for a day all she does is think about the work she needs to do when she gets home and the problems the kids are going through. I had to spend time with my elderly parents until one of my other siblings could take over. When I returned I found out that she had found her “soul mate”. Thirty two years now at a crossroad.
She has given up on the church that we both attended since we were married and raised our children in.
My wife and I will start the process of divorcingeach other after 15yrs. I blame her brother. Hes been living with us for a few years now. He works 3 hours a day. Doesnt help out at all with house duties. He hoards dishes in his room. When hes done he piles them up in the sink. He uses my towels as a floor matt. He leaves beer botlles all over, pees all over the toilet. My wife protects him a lot. He met a girl back in may on memorial weekend at a rave. Next day brings her over stays for 2 months and gets worse. I decided to stomp my feet and cuase of that it jeopardizing my marriage. Im i in the right to say enough is enough?
Everyone has a right to set boundaries. We have a WONDERFUL podcast on that!
Check out http://www.marriageradio.com to listen to it!
My Husband has called me fat for the last time. He asked me tonight why do I eat so much and the funny thing is I have actually lost 4 kilos in the last few weeks because I am getting more exercise, he didn’t believe me. He hasn’t shown me affection for quite a while now. He say’s he is not attracted to me anymore. I have to tell you I am not obese, I weigh 94 kilos, am 51 years old and am very healthy.I love him no matter what, I forgive all the hurtful things he says to me, the latest was “everything you do hurts our relationship” I was devastated. He doesn’t like the work I am doing for my church, the community garden I am involved in, the crochet class I am involved in, what I am doing in our garden at home. It seems I cannot please him yet anything he does I support wholeheartedly. I have seen porno sights that he likes to look at although he doesn’t know I know. There are lots of other things, one in particular, he forgot our last two wedding anniversaries 30th and 31st. He apologised for the 30th but the last one, nothing, not even a kiss. I can’t remember the last time he complimented me on an outfit but I can tell you others do so I can’t be that bad. He also doesn’t like the fact that I am going grey and wants me to dye my hair. We will become Grandparents for the first time this month and I am so looking forward to everything involved.
I am so sorry you are going through this.. I would strongly encourage you to look into our Save My Marriage Course.. I really feel like it would help you during this time.. Please visit this link for more information >> http://www.marriagehelper.com/savemymarriage
Free Will is Given to Man by God because only then can Love be possible. God will inluence but cannot violate free will.
God has givven you his Army to fight the demons that come against you.
You have to step into your Spiritual office as a commander to use you Angelic army and give them orders
to destroy demons that control your husband and surroundings. You have to learn to use your Heavenly Father’s army.
Just say, In Jesus’s name, I decree and declare that ever demon that is in or around my husband and house be cast to dry places forever.
Spend time with God and worship Him in every day. Do this when you are in a hurtful situation. Sing a Psalm 91 in your mind and just receive the Love of God for you from heaven.
God does not need his creation to protect Him. The warring angels are made for you to help you.
Worship is a weapon too and you will your situation change fast.
Keep in prayer and the Bible and obedience to God’s word.
Love is the perfection of all things.
When we grow up as kids we go through rejection in various forms. This drives us to look for love.
God Loves you. Christ is your Husband. Life is a vapour and before you know it you will be with Christ.
Right now you can have your perfect Love, that is Christ.
Continue excercising , eating right, and being kind.
Very well written. I can tell that you walk with Jesus. Such beautiful words of compassion & direction.
May God be with always…
I don’t know what to do. My husband believes that a woman’s place is to keep household clean, do laundry, washing, cook, see to our 19 month old boy and still having to see to him. Frustrating part of it is that I too work full time. He makes me feel so worthless, when arguing he pretty much says exactly that. He has no respect for my son when he gets all heated up in anger and he’s left screaming. He has had his abusive streaks with me, I fought back and that makes him justify that I too am in the wrong. He name calls, as do I. I know I’m in the wrong. I feel so exhausted and at end. Yes, there are great times but our bad times are our worst of worst. How can we raise our boy in the unhealthy environment??? And when I’d calmly speak to him about it he turns the table on me and asks but is he the only one in the wrong. As if he’s more interested in mentioning my faults rather than healing and salvaging the good that’s left. The mental and verbal abuse is just as exhausting. I just don’t know anymore 🙁
Same with me, we retaliate to protect our emotion but in my case, my husband won’t stop. As if he is she and money matters to him most.
I am going through the same thing. Worst I am pregnant with our 3rd. Don’t know if I can stomach more abuse.
My husband and I have been married for 2 years now (together 5 years). I still love him, but lately I feel like I’m burden or someone he has to take care of. He groans when I tell him I’m in the mood, he NEVER helps with house work. And I just feel like, he doesn’t care anymore is this the end?
It doesn’t have to be the end! You can start doing the things you need to do to save the marriage…Listen to this podcast for a good first step: http://www.marriagehelper.com/first-step-podcast
No it doesn’t have to be the end. You like so many other married couples myself included need to turn to God for answers. When we have issues in our marriage it’s God’s way of getting our attention to the this GS that we need to change about ourselves.
Joe and Kimberly. I’ve been married 24 years. My husband left for the other woman. It’s been 2 yrs that we have been separated. We had many false starts the first year but everyday he’d go to work and see her! It was a roller coaster. First he’d be loving and want to get back together then he’d be distant. It was so emotional. Then the last few month towards the end of that first year he moved in with her. She bought a new house and all looked great to him. My husband and I had a great love. At least I thought so. I have boxes of love notes, letters, and cards! Last November he stopped all contact. He filed and had me served. Our adult twin boys are devastated as I am too. He seems happy to me but my children say otherwise. They ask me to fight and stand for my marriage. I work on my PIES everyday but how will that even work with no contact? It’s been a year now. I’ve prayed she get another job somewhere else and my son said she got laid off. I’m still praying for myself as well. I need strength and wisdom. Please help!
I am so very sorry you are going through this.. Our hearts go out to you and you will be in our prayers and thoughts..
Have you looked into our 10 Week Course?
It will greatly help you and encourage you as you stand for your marriage..
Please call us if you have any questions.. 615-472-1161
My wife of 4 years, partner for 6, wants out of our marriage. She has been having an affair and is actually on vacation with her new man. So we won’t be spending Christmas together, ouch. It is weird, but she began to change a lot when she had a teaching job in South Dakota. The poverty of the reservation took a toll on her and she has changed a lot. She has been suffering from depression, low self esteem, and hopelessness. I did what I could help her and its hard to not think I should have done/been more. Shekeeps telling me it is about her own selfishness and low self esteem, And I actually believe her. However, it is hard that the person that knew me most deeply has cast me aside. Its hard not to see a correlation, whether it is her reason or not.
I also apologize that I saw this comment after Christmas had passed..
Is there anyway you could talk your wife into attending our 3 day workshop in Nashville, Tn??
I am so very sorry..
I would strongly encourage you to look into our Save My Marriage Course..
Not only will it help you create the environment to save your marriage, but it will help guide you through these trying times.. It will give you strength and offer you comfort and support..
Please let me know if you have any questions..
Here is the link if you would like more information >> http://www.marriagehelper.com/savemymarriage
I am going through a STORM in my marriage and at first I thought about just getting a divorce. He said after 17 years he is not happy that we have grown apart. He checked out of the marriage physically 3 1/2 years ago. I first thought about begging him to stay, and then I pleaded with him to give our marriage another chance. I then went to see a marriage counselor who he refused to see. Finally, I surrendered my will to God. I know that God created marriage and he doesn’t want my marriage to end in divorce, God created marriage. I have been praying and fasting for God to restore my marriage. I have decided to stand in the gap and pray for my husband and family. I have decided to draw closer to God so that he will draw closer to me. I pray for my husband and my marriage without ceasing. The devil is here to kill still and destroy, that is his mission here on this earth. He is deceptive, and what God had created he wants to destroy which is our marriage. For those of us going through in our marriages and even divorce. This is NOT about us. It is a bigger purpose. The devil is trying to destroy our children’s generations to come and destroy the head of the household which are our husbands or destroy our spouses. I pray that before you give up, please seek God first and look at yourselves to see what God is trying to change in you. WE can’t change our spouse, only God can turn a heart of stone to flesh. Please seek God, please pray for your mates and study the word of God. Start fasting and studying his word. Remember God’s timing is not our timing. If we all seek first the kingdom of heaven – everything else will be added on to us. God loves up my brothers and sisters. Start reading your bibles and study the word of God, you will not be able to win against the enemy if you don’t allow God to fight your battles. This is NOT a flesh war but a spiritual war. Pray for one another without ceasing and God will give you the peace you need in this storm. I am not saying that it is not going to hurt, nor am I saying that you will not cry. But you have to surrender it all to God and seek him first and ask God the purpose for the trials and tribulations that your marriage is going through and he will give you your answers. Remember, it is NOT about you. Peace in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Yes, I am going through as I write to everyone on this blog, but I refuse to give up on my marriage. I have a covenant with God and my husband and I refuse to allow the enemy to tear down my home and continue his generational curse on my children’s generations to come. I’m praising God because I know that in John 19:28-29 28 After this, knowing that everything had now been accomplished, and to fulfill the Scripture, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of sour wine was sitting there. So they soaked a sponge in the wine, put it on a stalk of hyssop, and lifted it to His mouth. 30 When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished.”
No matter what I have to go through, I will trust God in this storm regarding my marriage. Jesus has already defeated the devil, there is nothing that the devil can do to me. I have the power which is the holy spirit which dwells in me since I have given my life to Christ. I know that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. Please everyone, don’t give up. Please seek God and listen to his still, sweet loving voice and ask him for the will for your lives. Stop focusing on your mate because only God can change him or her. Work on getting your life right with Christ and everything else will follow suit. I pray for everyone on this site that Gods will for their life will come to pass. God loves you. If he didn’t he would not have sent his son down from heaven who was sinless and die for our sins. Its the blood that covers us. Amen!
Ted, I am also standing on the word of God and pray without ceasing. It is sad to read so many of these letters and notes. We are in the last days and the Devil is working harder then ever. The Devils number 1 job is to kill, steal, destroy marriages. In that alone tears apart family, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, Aunts, Uncles and everything else under the sun. My Husband walk out 8 almost nine months ago. We were both deacons in our church. He no longer listens to me when I talk about God and the Bible. Way to many churches today do Not teach the true Word Of God and marriage. My message also to EVERYONE OUT THERE IS TO NEVER GIVE UP, STAND STRONG, KEEP PRAYING. REMEMBER WHEN YOU GIVE UP SATAN WINS. Many have come back, even years later. And many do not see that when you marry you have not only a convent with your wife, but ALSO TO GOD. I PRAY FOR ALL MARRIAGES FOR RESTORATION. AMEN,
Hi i dont know what to do anymorw really i feel like my husband chooses eveeything over me and his 2 year old daughter im a understanding person i looked after my our daughter for 2 years and looking for a job now…when he comea home food done ,washing done and house and our daughter washed….but he comes home then most of his time is games xbox he will spend hours of games and me and our child will just be there its like i play the fatherly figure to ive spoken over and ovwr and im fedup…he was on leave now for 2 weeks he will spend time with others and not his daughter and me everything is games up to playing and watching online…sometimes our daughter goes look attention by him and he cant even put the controller down then she comes to me he cant even apend time with us ive been with him for 6 years faithful and now 2 years married im so hurt he dont listen its like im speaking to a 12 year old
My husband and I have been married for a year and a month now, we are always fighting I don’t really feel happy in the marriage anymore I have asked him several times to go see a counselor with me but he refused, I have also asked for us to see a pastor which he also refused. At this point am really contemplating leaving the marriage after having my baby but I want to go with my child. He has agreed to give me the divorce but says I won’t leave with his child. I would have involved his mum or sisters but they practically worship him and can’t tell him when he’s wrong because he’s an only son. He also told me dt no one can talk to him or make him change his ways not even my parents or his. Am really confused don’t know what to do….pls help
I would strongly encourage you to look into our 3 Day Workshop.. You may also want to look into our Decision Point Course.. Either/or would be a WONDERFUL place for you to start!
HEY I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM I WENT FOR COUNSELING WITH MY WIFE BUT NOTHING CHANGES , MY WIFE IS STILL IN CONTACT WITH HER X BF THEY DONT HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER I REALLY DONT KNOW Y, EVERYTIME THERES SOMETHING NEW COMMING MY WAY THINK I DONT HAVE A SOLUTION BUT FILE A DIVORCE
Is your spouse willing to fight for the marriage??
If so I would strongly encourage you both to participate in our Marriage Recovery Series.
From an experience, I will like to tell you that marriage is not how rich,handsome or beautiful you are that can buy the most expensive wedding ring and an unforgettable wedding but rather a transmission of a real love through the nerve wires of your body thereby keeping the love at your heart always which is classically designed on playing all types of games to help build a memory of love. Be careful the way you exchange word with your wife who is a WOMAN that can learn you as quickly as possible to either change from total bad to good and vise versa depending on what she learns when she first have contact with you. Never compromise your principles as a man, a head of the home but not in destructive manner.
I don’t want to leave my husband .but he want divorce we are saperatly since 2 years .l want to talk to him but he doesn’t want to talk and when I message he is said I don’t want u back in my life .I don’t know why he is saying like this .now I have left every thing in the hands of god.
I need advice it how to deal with this I married a older man at least 30 years older and he was the most awesome man when we meet and he drank and smoke which didn’t bother me because it didn’t seem like a problem after a few years he asked if I wanted to marry him and move to Floridia I said yes everything went fine untiI we got married then he started being mean and disrespectful telling me what to do and refused to go any where its almost been 2 years and I have never had been married before so I have no idea what I should do and what can I do he I told him if he didn’t stop I would leave and I left for a month to give him some time to think he said that he would be good and stop and after a couple weeks he started the same thing so told him I was leaving and not returning and I left and he said he would help me get on my feet and refuses to help or answer the phone and we are still a married what can I do he refuses to do to anything to help our marriage I think he married to take care of him and nothing more so I giving up on it what can I do advice anybody totally clueless
Have you listened to Dr. Beam’s podcast on Boundaries??
Hi, advice needed please. I found out a year ago my wife cheated on me. We talked about it and I forgave her and she was very sorry. We moved on in our lives. Dec 2016 she came to me and confessed she had slept with someone else twice. The Holy Spirit was giving me warning flags about this and I knew what she was going to say. She hates herself, well she says she does, and says I deserve much better than her. She wants me to find someone else and we need to separate she says. We have had many talks about this and I have forgiven her and told her I am here for her and want to help her through this. She still insisted we separate. Last week I found out she is now (and has been for a month or two) sleeping with yet another guy. I confronted her and she said she doesn’t know why she is doing this. She doesn’t like this guy and doesn’t want to be with him. Yet she still wants to separate. We have been living apart for 1 week now and I found out this morning she had this same guy stay over last night. She says she is putting it in Gods hands and she would like us to get back together but her actions tell a different story. I have not even told you about the lies and deception she has done toward me like nothing I knew was possible from a person. My heart gets crushed every day by her. Now she is angry at me because I found out her dirty little secret. Sadly I know a lot of the intimate details that went on between them and it really hurts me. We have only been married for a little over 2 years. My question is this. Do I continue to be there for her and wait patiently in hope that she may come back to me (I don’t know how I could trust her again after the huge lies she has told but I am willing to try) or do I cut it off totally, move on and get her out of my life completely? I am nearly 50 and time is slipping away from me as I want children. Fortunately we do not have children together. Thanks for any advice.
my wife of 43 years is constantly telling me that I don’ support her. she accuses me of being on the pastor’s side and he talks bad about her from the pulpit and that I allow him to get away with it when in fact what he says could apply to a lot of people in church. I am a leader in the church an d she says that most all of the member treat her badly and treat me great.She get caught up in thing that happened in the 70’s and 80’s that she didn’t like. I suggest to her that Satan is at work but she says that I give Satan too much credit. I am contemplating separation or even divorce. The verbal abuse and angry face every day has become a bad source of stress for this 66 year old man and should be for her who is 64.
I am so sorry you are going through this.. Is there anyway, before you make a decision, that you could come to the Marriage Helper 911 Workshop??
I’m not quite sure whether we both want out of our marriage or have lost that spark. My wife who I have been with for 13 years we have been married for nearly 12, has a lot of health issues that get in the way of us. I work. Between 55 and 65 hours a week, I don’t drive. I cycle and run a lot. I’m getting counselling for depression, stress and anger management. We have a beautiful daughter aged 9, seriously I love the 2 of them unconditionally. But sometimes I just feel suffocated. I’m not the best husband in the world but I know I’m far from the worst. I don’t know what to do to reignite the spark that we both seem to have lost for each other? Any advice to save my marriage would be great!
I am so sorry your marriage is going through this hard time..
Is there anyway you and your spouse could come to our 911 Workshop that we have in Nashville, TN??
My husband come from Afghanistan a month ago and now he want divorce. I don’t knw how divorce work ? Did he sent back to country after divorce or we need to stay in same house for 2 years or the judge wil grant our divorce? Need help …
I am sorry you are going through this.
We are not attorneys or lawyers so we are unable to answer this question.
I would advise you to seek legal help.
Am actually in a mess right now, my wife has always been the nagging type and am really pissed off whenever she starts. I have done all I could to let her know that am not OK with her nagging attitude,but it seems to get worse everyday,she inherited such trait from her mother because her mum had a broken marriage just because of nagging and she has taken after her. We have 4 kids 2 boys and 2 girls. I have decided to file a divorce and and at the same time look out for a woman who is more humane and quit type. Am saying this because am dying slowly inside ,my life style doesn’t need quarrelsome and nagging woman.I will be glad if I can find one .
I have a religious wife, who does not give me any attention I need, for 20 out of the last 26 years, she has fussed, and looked more happy around others. In 26 years of marriage she has NEVER initiated sex with me. When we do have sex, she has powerful pleasures, not faked. But she will not initiate no matter what. If I don’t ask for sex for 6 months, she will do nothing to tur me on or ask me for it. I am bitter, and do suffer from depression, but she has helped make my depression, as I am seeking affection from her, and it is not there. But I feel cause she is religious, and popular with her church comrades, and freinds, she feels that I have got the mist awesome wife on the planet. I recently started a job, a long job on the weekends, where when she is home I see her about 3 hours over the weekend. This week, she spent 2 hours with at night after she was done with work, and Tuesday night. Yesterday I was called in early for Good Firday, so I will not see her 3 days barely at all this weekend, so she insisted Wednesday night, she wanted to take my 15 year old to Church, I was ok with that, sad I would not see my wife again aas she would be at church. Anyhow I got called in Firday, so I texted my wife and asked her if I gave her $30 to shop for my daughter, could she skip Church and spend time with me ? She started a rotten fight with me, because I wanted to spend my time with her, she blew a fuse at one point cussing at me, saying you want a dirty, rotten non church girl,. and started cussing at me, F this, F that, calling me a Mother F’er, She said she was gonna go to bars from now on instead of church, blah blah blah, that is what I want. She came home from work, told my Daughter, that her Dad wins, she is giving up church, and going to be a rotten girl who drinks, goes to bars, cusses, and no more church !!! —— People, my Depression makes me crabby, I am guilty of lashing out verbally over the years in the morning at her, but she has shut me out emotionally and sexually for 20+ years, and refuses to think she affects me, cause she atrtends church, and loves others more than me, so she appears to feel Church service, and love of others and hanging around others means I have a good wife ? — I am so frustrated, any other men on here have wives that NEVER initiate sex ??? My wife is fine when I initiate it, I please her before me, and she gets more out of it than me, but she is not there for me, then when I am depressed and start vwerbal words, she cries foul to everyone about me, I cannot believe how she blewe last night cause I wanted time with her, she never wants time with me, just her Cell Phone, Facebook, and Church and Social Life, I am dying from rejection and frustration as I ttruly feel she thinks cause of church she is PERFFECT ! With a mouth like Satan last night, I beg to differ
I have a religious wife, who does not give me any attention I need, for 20 out of the last 26 years, she has fussed, and looked more happy around others. In 26 years of marriage she has NEVER initiated sex with me ever in 26 years of marriage. When we do have sex, she has powerful pleasures, not faked. But she will not initiate no matter what. If I don’t ask for sex for 6 months, she will do nothing to turn me on or ask me for it. I am bitter, and do suffer from depression, but she has helped make my depression, as I am seeking affection from her, and it is not there but she sure gives her time to others. But I feel cause she is religious, and popular with her church comrades, and friends, she feels that I have got the most awesome wife on the planet. I recently started a job, a long job on the weekends, where when she is home I see her about 3 hours over the weekend. This week, she spent 2 hours with at night after she was done with work, and Tuesday night. Yesterday I was called in early for Good Firday, so I will not see her 3 days barely at all this weekend, so she insisted Wednesday night, she wanted to take my 15 year old to Church, I was ok with that, sad I would not see my wife again aas she would be at church. Anyhow I got called in Firday, so I texted my wife and asked her if I gave her $30 to shop for my daughter, could she skip Church and spend time with me ? She started a rotten fight with me, because I wanted to spend my time with her, she blew a fuse at one point cussing at me, saying you want a dirty, rotten non church girl,. and started cussing at me, F this, F that, calling me a Mother F’er, She said she was gonna go to bars from now on instead of church, blah blah blah, that is what I want. She came home from work, told my Daughter, that her Dad wins, she is giving up church, and going to be a rotten girl who drinks, goes to bars, cusses, and no more church !!! —— People, my Depression makes me crabby, I am guilty of lashing out verbally over the years in the morning at her, but she has shut me out emotionally and sexually for 20+ years, and refuses to think she affects me, cause she atrtends church, and loves others more than me, so she appears to feel Church service, and love of others and hanging around others means I have a good wife ? — I am so frustrated, any other men on here have wives that NEVER initiate sex ??? My wife is fine when I initiate it, I please her before me, and she gets more out of it than me, but she is not there for me, then when I am depressed and start vwerbal words, she cries foul to everyone about me, I cannot believe how she blewe last night cause I wanted time with her, she never wants time with me, just her Cell Phone, Facebook, and Church and Social Life, I am dying from rejection and frustration as I ttruly feel she thinks cause of church she is PERFFECT ! With a mouth like Satan last night, I beg to differ
i have been a relationship with my fiance for 4 years now and we have a beautiful month old son. We are 10 years apart in age i am 37 she is 27. We have always had issues with not seeing eye to on things and they have tormented us for the whole relationship. For example she would like to be able to hang out with her ex boyfriends and keep in contact with them. I am not ok with this for one there was a flame there once and there is always that chance that it might come back if. i dont see a reason that you would have to talk and stay in contact with a ex when iam right here. she made out with a girl in the first month we were dating while out and i got really upset at this because it is cheating in my eyes. her response is i dont know why you got mad other guys would like it. I do not we are commit ed to each other i said. and to this day she still thinks i was over reacting. from that point trust has been a real issue for me with her. If she thinks that was ok to do what else would she think is ok that i wouldn’t. After i had already told her i wasn’t ok with her hanging with her ex’s i found out she had gone behind mu back and hung out with on that was 2 hours away then came home before i got off work and i didn’t know…i take care of her and she does not work and the things i would expect from a stay at home mother is too much for her. For example i have to be at work at 5am so in my mind if the baby starts to cry in the middle of the night it should be her getting up to take care of him, now on my days off i get up and do it dont get me wrong, but she holds that agenst me. i just want things to be ok and for us to be happy but nothing i do helps and she just continues to harbor negative feelings from the past. Dont get me wrong i haven’t handled thees issues in the best way at times and have caused problems also, but i am always willing to try and fix our issues. i want to get counseling to help us i want to stay with her i just need help right now for us a outside perspective.
My husband had two heart-attacks since this happened we have not been close then in 2014 we lost our youngest son who was 38 years old and it took a real toll on our family and marriage. Then our oldest son had a nervous breakdown his marriage ended he lost custody of his two children due to his inmature wife and family who never tried to help or understand his sitation but always judged him and cut him down in front of every one due to her inability to cope with his sitation which she controled for a long time till she dropped him on our door step. We spent years trying to get him out of the house then a miracle from heaven sent him to jail and he met some great people who are now helping him live again. But now we are drained emotionally and physically due to all this and spend no time together except excerise and driving our son back and forth to work. It has done a lot of damage to him and our marriage. After all the things i have done for my son I find out he is jealous of me spending time with his dad. He told me he wants to spent quality time alone with hid dad without me. He says he feels i will horn in and mess things up with them. I am really hurt by his words. My husband says he doesn’t care if i come with them but my son don’t feel the same. I guess i can understand his wanting to be with his dad since his dad worked all the time and left all of us in the early years of our marriage for work and other people. My husband was 34 years old before he wanted to be a father and then he got mad because his boys wouldn’t listen to him he came to me asking why and asking how to get them on his side. I gave him a big speech on how he excepted the boys to listen to him after he had not been there as a father from the begining, so how did he expect them to listen to him when they didn’t even know him or that he was their dad. So i had to go and tell them that guy is your dad and you need to mind him and listen to what he says and obey him. So from then on the boys obey him. My husband always had people around him we never had alone time unless it was in bed. And then his family was always butting into our lives mostly his younger brother who lived with us for a few years till he met his future wife. Our sons at that time were married to two bad women and were also causing all of us a lot of grief. Through all this we manage to hold everything together with God’s help. We have been married a long time. We are great grandparents if that can tell you how long we have been together.
I don’t want to live with my husband.he only wants to control me.he thinks he is pati parmeshwar.he only finds so many fault in me.I am tired.i can’t live a second with him.
Hello, if you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will send you the eBook we offer on control.
There is help.
My wife wants divorces my marraige has happened Just Two months back Only, the reason is she dont want to stay with my parents
i want to stay with my parents now she is putting case on me . i dont want divorces,but she wants how to procced further.
My husband file for divorce because he say we fuss too much. I moved out an he will not answer any of my texts or calls. What do I do?
Im reading all the comments from the men and I am so angry!! I am in a physically emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. Right as I type this my husband has sent me over 30 text calling me names and saying terrible things about our children. I want to give up!! When I read these comments I rhibk how did I get so unlucky. I am good person loyal hard working sometimes I think GOD is punshing me.
God does not punish. he loves you so much that’s why he gives you the ability to choose between right and wrong. choices. he gives us choices. I’m not in a good place right now in my relationship, but it’s currently my choice to stay…to keep trying to make it work by readjusting and communicating effectively. Once I’m exhausted though, and my mental health is at risk, I will have to make the right decision then.
we are married for 20 years and my husband started to like my sister and doesn’t treat me right or seprate or divorce . I feel suffocated
I’m 6 months pregnant with 2 daughter’s and I’m not working… I feel like my marriage is over I don’t know what to do
I’m not sure what to do. My husband HATES me. He is cheating on me and does not care. He has an addiction to sex. He loves strip clubs and porn. He has now given me a sexually trasmitted diease. My son and several people saw him at a local strip club last weekend. They had words really bad words per my son. Threats were made. He told my son not to worry he basically would be leaving soon. My husband has not said anything to me about any of this. Im so scared. When I have asked him in the past about telling the truth he just keep telling lies to me. I love him and worry about his salvation. Not sure if I should confront him again?
I have been married 27 years. 10 years ago my husband while working in south Korea had an affair. We worked through it and went to counseling. Jump forward to December of 2016. He had to go back to south Korea for work. (works in the oilfield) We were fine before he went. He came home not speaking to me. And finally told me he no longer wants to be with me. We have been co-existing in the same house since February when he told me. So Thursday he got off the rig and had to go to Houston. The night he got off the rig there were 49 texts with a different girl in a 3 hour period! He will not even be in the same state as I am right now! He is avoiding me! I know its guilt! My head says file for divorce my heart says no! The 16 years he has been in the oilfield I have been a stay at home mom and raised our 3 girls! Now I have nothing to fall back on! I am going back to school in the fall for LPN. I will be able to support myself doing that! But how will I pay, how will I survive, how do I make my heart stop hurting because this all came up out of no where! So many unanswered questions! This weekend we both are supposed to be in San Antonio for our grand daughter’s first birthday party! Will be the first I will see him face to face since he left in May!
My husband wants out after 23 years of marriage and I am shattered. I don’t even know how to live or be without him. I know he loves me but our marriage has been in trouble for some time. I just always thought we would figure it out and find each other again after the kids moved out. Now it’s too late and I am devastated. I can’t even go without crying for a couple of hours without breaking down in tears. I am concerned and wonder if this is normal or I need serious help, it’s been about a month.
My partner now wife of 7 years basically wants nothing to do with me on a daily basis. Last night I basically got told to pack my shit and leave if I don’t like it. I’ve done a lot of changes to make her happy like having kids when I never wanted (thank god I did there the only reason I can get out of bed these days) and pretty much have said yes to everything.
What do I do? I’m so confused and utterly depressed every day
Hello, I am in a marriage of 8 years but recently found out that my wife still has feelings for her ex and I have seen the text messages, so there is no telling me that it’s only agape love, you don’t hey love and I love you so much and miss you we should hang out again, you don’t say that to your ex. I text at work love you and all she says to me is ok…that’s a red flag right there. These text messages to her ex hurt me to where I want to leave. It’s just hard because both our names are on the lease at our apartment. We have not made love in 3 months and it is killing me. So I dont know what to do….
My husband is so controlling he knows I want out. It’s like he intentionally does all he can to destroy me. He’s succeeded. I brought wealth into the marriage he said no woman would ever touch his finances and now daily I hear how finances are dire. Like what did he do? He makes it a point to argue, argue, argue,, never with peace in my heart. He won’t let me do anything and everything I do he’s with me. I hate being controlled & so tired of fighting.
I hurt my husband my telling him I was leaving or to go back to your ex. He says he loves me but not in love with me. He tells me he is going to try, but don’t think it is going to work between us. Is there a chance we can come back to one another and be happy?
I am not one to post on these kind of sites but as I sit here and struggle I’ll share my story.
Approximately 7 years ago at age 40 I started dating my wife then 45. Today 47 and 52 respectively we haven’t been married for even a year and she has asked me to move out now 3 times and a divorce twice (never did paperwork either time). This is both of our 2nd marriage It seems that the reasoning for our prediciment is our children. Her children one in college and one dropped out and she don’t agree that my son isn’t working a job while he is in high school(going to college next school year). The drop out child lived at home for 2 years before moving out on his own (he was working in a good paying job) and the college child moved back home because they could not live on their own. My wife believes I give my son too much leeway and money (he is playing baseball to get/received a scholarship for college) and I probably do but I also am not changing the way she makes her children live and haven’t ask for a seperation because of them. Now my wife and son hate and yes this is a strong word, but hate each other. She hates him because he called her and her daughter names and he hates them because he can do nothing right and gets no respect.
Well now I am in a situation of losing my wife or my son. Either a divorce or he will never come back. I have asked for my wife to go to counciling with me but she has in her mind that counciling is for crazy people and she’s not crazy so there is no reason to go. She has never been one for self help so im stuck here. We have to be open for change or it will never change the good Lord does wonderful things but do I just let this marriage go. There are just so many things to fix and it is a feeling of failure
I am 61. I’ve been married for 32 years…not my first marriage though. I am 4.5 yrs older than my spoiled arrogant husband. His family has money and his is in a trust. His younger brother, who had a job in his twenties but was fired, and has not worked since talked his mother into signing a power of attorney for the younger brother to look over her medical needs when she needed them. Six months after that he had her committed to the nursing home as suffering from alzheimers and dementia. I tell you this so you can see what danger I am in. Why alzheimers, because his wife runs the alzheimers chapter here and moves with a group of powerful attorneys and CEO types. My husband wont listen to me that the way they are treating her is wrong. His family has maligned me for years and tried to ruin my reputation. I am no dummy and my job keeps my reputation in tact. I am at a point in my life that everything I have is wrapped up in my home and retiring….I wont be able to though, I mean retire. Because they are watching my every move, and my husband is keeping them informed, I am trapped and know that I will have nothing even a place to sleep if I just leave. The mental stress is unbearable at times. I need to know what I can do legally, and how I can get my investment out of this property without the interference of his family and their controlling reach and money. I knew that someday I might need to just drop out of site but I never thought it would be because of my hateful in-laws. I and mindful of my health and what stress can do to me at my age, AND the fact that I have suffered from PTSD in the past. Over that, pain free and in control, sort of, of the rest of my affairs but I know it is time for me to leave this marriage. One more thing to paint this picture. A few years ago, I was choking on a pill I had taken. I was completely blocked with no air passing. I had been an Heimlich instructor and I knew he had been through the training. I could not speak, went to him, put my hands on him to look at me, put my hands to my throat, like I was choking. He did nothing. As my site narrowed I knew I was passing out. I put my finger down my throat and pushed the pill down. It cleared enough for me to breath. He says he did not know what I needed……he didn’t know I was choking. I had black bruises on my chest atop my lungs from the lack of oxygen and went to the doctor that week to see if I had any lung damage so there is a record of it. Is there an attorney out there that can let me know what I can do to get out of here. He keeps our debt to the limit so I cant use any credit to get out. I live in st. francois county, mo. Can anyone tell me what my best plan might be. There is much more to this but don’t want to type it here.
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