The Struggle with Letting Go Article Graphic

Are you really struggling with letting go?

Letting go of the hurt caused in your marriage? Letting go of the pain that you feel by your spouse walking out? Letting go of the fact that no matter how hard you try, it feels like there is absolutely nothing you can do to change anything going on?

The Struggle is Real

You pray about it daily and really try to make a conscious effort, but you feel like you’re failing at it. If you could just control your spouse, their decisions, the outcome, or anything about the situation, you would in an instant. So how do we let go?

Here is a key concept on how to truly begin to let go.

Acceptance for Letting Go Article

Letting go is another way to say, “accept it as it is”. When you admit to yourself that something is beyond your personal control and then accept that as an unchangeable fact, you are truly able to “let go”.

Why? Because you stop trying to figure how you’re going to make it different. Acceptance is key.

Letting Go is not Giving Up

You might be thinking, “But if I accept it as it is, does that mean that I am giving up?”

No. Not at all.

See, accepting things is also a major component of a joyful life. You may not like it. You may not want it. But when you accept it, you begin to have peace inside which will then begin to exude on the outside.

Acceptance of the way things are does not mean that you have to give in and accept defeat for your future. Quite the opposite. Accepting your current circumstances takes away your worries, doubts, and fears so that you can become strong and confident again.

Not feeling responsible (which you do if you are still trying to figure out what will change things) is extremely freeing.

Freedom Leads to Change

When you are free of the binding chains of fear, you become free to dream about a better future. You can then use this motivation to propel you to move forward in saving your marriage in a positive way instead of in a despairing way.

Remember, accepting things as they are doesn’t mean you like things as they are, or that you don’t care. It means giving up the idea that somehow…you can change it. It means giving up the idea that if you harass God long enough, He’ll change it.

If anything is going to change, it usually happens after we STOP trying to change everyone and everything; and instead, change ourselves.

We Believe That The Only Person You Can Change is Yourself Graphic

14 thoughts on “The Struggle with Letting Go

  • February 19, 2016 at 1:14 am
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    I’m so glad I read this. I never looked at accepting the situation wouldn’t mean that it still couldn’t change. I’m feeling a little more hopeful. Thank you!

    Reply
    • February 19, 2016 at 6:49 pm
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      I too am glad I read this! It’s been over 2 years since she moved out and nearly 2 years since she filed for divorce. I still wear my ring and pray constantly for the divorce to be stopped, because I don’t want it. I feel like if I let it go I’m not standing firm in what I believe in. I need to “accept it as is” and admit that I can’t change or control it. I needed to read this, because the struggle is real!

      Reply
      • July 13, 2016 at 8:13 pm
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        How are things going now ??

        Reply
  • February 19, 2016 at 8:27 pm
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    Thank you! These words make so much sense and I know that accepting will lift a huge weight off my heart.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2016 at 2:42 am
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    My H left 4 months ago. I’m unemployed, he pays bills and doesn’t communicate with me. His latest comment was in text he wants to be alone. I’m trying to get to that point, feels odd , but I see it’s healing. Rather be better then bitter.

    Reply
    • July 12, 2016 at 4:53 pm
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      Wow I am in the same situation! Don’t give up and keep praying!

      Reply
  • February 21, 2016 at 7:12 pm
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    Thankyou for this message,it lifts a big weight from my heart. I hope I can get to that point of acceptance

    Reply
    • February 22, 2016 at 6:00 pm
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      Glad to hear it’s a weight off your heart! We will keep you in our thoughts!

      Reply
  • February 21, 2016 at 9:09 pm
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    There is great truth here. This last week I’ve become more accepting and have really started to feel brighter in every way.

    Reply
    • February 22, 2016 at 5:51 pm
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      That is great news, Scott!

      Reply
  • February 26, 2016 at 2:25 pm
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    There needs to be so much more written about this!

    Reply
    • February 29, 2016 at 7:39 pm
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      Hi Pati,

      We will take a note of that for future references! Thank you for your feedback!

      Reply
  • July 12, 2016 at 12:19 am
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    I hope I can remember this as I’m struggling to let go of the anger, hurt and resentment of my husband’s affair. He is back home wanting our marriage and I’m thankful for that but at the same time letting go feels so impossible…and if I continue on the way I feel…my actions…my marriage will not be restored…does anyone else struggle with this?

    Reply
  • September 23, 2016 at 9:20 pm
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    It felt like God wanted me to read this today. My h left in July because of our fighting I was so angry and mad at everyone my cancer was getting worse. I have gotten help with my anger and issues but he doesn’t want to come home.

    Reply

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