My husband says sex is boring, that we never became one, and that he has been unfullfilled sexually since we got married.  He said this after an arguement, but it did hurt.  We have only known each other - no other partners and now tells me he doesn't want to look back in our marriage in regret about our sex life.  He told me 18 year olds have done more than we have.  And as he hears the stories from other people, even those stories from marriages with affairs that have made it and replies they got to experience all of it and now their doing good, he says that they got to experience it all.  Sex is a sore subject between us b/c when I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd and very tired and exhausted, little did I know that my husband was struggling sexually and really desiring oral sex.  Little did I know what that meant being a little sheltered, but after discussing it and all, I did get to a point out of guilt where I did that for him.  I didn't want to and still don't enjoy it, but do it for him.  He isn't even satisfied with this b/c he wants me to do it for the reason that I want to and for the reason that I will enjoy doing it.  So to make a long story short, he told me the hurtful things above and due to very little intimacy in our life and mostly b/c sex is a sore subject b/w us, he is now struggling having ejaculations - it either takes longer or doesn't have one - he's worried something is wrong with him  - it's been going on for about 1 month and I'm hurt by it as well and taking it personal.  What he wants from me feels unreachable and unrealistic, but he tells me he wants to enjoy sex like the song of solomon story b/w just me and him, no others, just uninhibited sex.  He wants me to take lead, be aggressive, be sensual and I don't know what I'm doing wrong accept for the fact that most of the time we do have sex, he has no idea HOW to get me in the mood....he is not romantic, doesn't carress me except in the vagina, doesn't even touch my breasts anynmore (b/c he's dissappointed in the size they are now due to breastfeeding 3 kids) and he doesn't compliment me ever anymore.  It even seems like his only goal sometimes is to give me an orgasm and that's it and as long as I have one, it's fulfilling to him (even lately if he doesn't have one himself).  I don't understand a man and never will.....I just want to know what he wants from me and if he's not emotionally connecting with me and I'm feeling completely alone and unloved when I'm with him, is it possible for me to give him uninhibited sex (whatever that means to him)?  Very confused and we both want to enjoy sex again b/c it's just getting old.  He's hurt me with his comments about our sex life and I've given it back to him out of revenge.  I just want it to stop and I just want him to "get" what it means to have a deeper level of intimacy with his wife and not focus on "missing out" .  I keep telling him if he would just focus on that, he would get his sexual tigress that he's wanting, but then I wonder if I really know what he wants from me.  Also, he got tired of initiated sex when I was pregnant with my 3rd and I was so exhausted, I was just going through the motions and was not into it.  That's when it all started 3 years ago, but the struggling to have an ejaculation just starting happening about 1 month ago.  Can anyone help?

I will do my best to put myself in his shoes and I understand about if he doesn't orgasm, how does that make me feel - not good.  He does NOT believe that him being romantic and putting more effort into intimacy will get me to be the sexual tigress he is desiring from me.  He doesn't have much faith in me right now.  I have also told him several times about how to get me in the mood - trying to get him to understand that men are visual and women respond by touch and feeling, but he just doesn't get that.  He is a very kind and generous man, but at the same time he can be so clueless.  My next question is what is it sexually that he is really wanting from me?  When I do try to do what "I think" he wants, he may appreciate the effort like you say, but he tells me that "I'm not into it and he can tell" even when I am into it....I'm really tired of trying to convince him otherwise and I don't understand why he keeps believing the worst.  He actually is the one to me that doesn't seem into it anymore.  He did ejaculate yesterday, but he still told me that I didn't seem into it....partly b/c I was worried he wasn't going to ejactulate.....anyways, if you have any other helpful advise for me....great....b/c I want what he wants and we want that with each other, but I feel like I have let him down greatly especially when he is sitting there telling me he's missing out.  I don't want to have sex with him every time worrying about whether or not I'm being aggressive enough for him....I just want it to happen, but his comments keep ruining it for me. 

Ok..thanks!  I'll remember that one.

If you want to make him happy, he has to make you happy too. Is having sex with him boring? He shoots down your ideas, but is his any better? Yeah it sounds like to me that he's not making any attempts to make it better either. Marriage counseling should help.