I am extremely frustrated.  My husband & I have been together almost 10 years.  In that time, in every job I've ever had, some guy has flirted with me, complimented me, made me feel good about myself, etc.  I have always been aware of the potential affair starting at work.  I never wanted to keep anything from my husband so I have told him every time there is someone who is giving me extra attention & how that makes me feel...& how my mind starts wandering...  The problem is that I feel starved for attention (physical, verbal, reassurance, etc) from my husband & I've been telling him this as long as we've been together.  I've asked him to put himself in my shoes and he can't even fathom what it must feel like.  How do I get him to understand the gravity of the situation?  We've talked about it until we're blue in the face.  This puts me in a very vulnerable situation.  It makes me feel extremely special when others give me attention but all I really want is to feel like my husband thinks I'm beautiful, desirable, special, a priority, etc.

Well, I would say he has tried at times.  Even when we first started dating, he wasn't as affectionate & complimentary as I would have liked.  He tells me that he thinks it but doesn't say it.  Or he'll tell me it's just not natural for him to be like that.  And then he'll say he's working on it but yet it's inconsistent.
I feel like I have shown him that but he says he doesn't need that as much.  It's almost as if I feel like he doesn't need me...like he could take me or leave me.

Have you told him about how you feel when other guys give you attention? Maybe if he knows the magnitude of the situation he'll work harder to show you more more attention.

Hi, I've been there.  It is not something you can deal with by yourself.  If you believe in God, ask a church leader to pray with you, SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THE PERSON WHO IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO WIN YOU.  If the prayer is offered in faith by the church leader, you will be relieved of that situation.  I did this.  The church leader prayed with me, and the next day, the person trying to win me was moved to another floor in the building.  He came upstairs to see me, but I was able to ignore him from that point on.  He quickly stopped coming upstairs.

I too, have ALWAYS had this situation at work, no matter where I've worked.  It is most likely because you have needs that are not being met by your husband.  To avoid this: 
1) Pray that God will remove these temptations from you. 
2) Try to stay out of situations that you KNOW will be difficult.  However, since I have been where you are, I know that sometimes you are unknowingly put into those situations.  One time I agreed to go out with a group of people to lunch, and it turned out that everyone else CANCELED before I knew about it, and I was left to go out to lunch with the guy who was pursuing me (yes, he was married, like me).  I was not attracted to him in the least, so I just had lunch and got out of there.   
3)Telling your husband IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, but he will not understand - I know from experience.    That's why we have this problem in the first place!!  PRAY WITH YOUR CHURCH LEADER THAT GOD WILL FULFILL YOUR NEEDS FOR ADMIRATION AND LOVE. 
4) CHANGE YOUR APPEARANCE so the pursuers will not be attracted to you anymore.  If you feel like you shouldn't have to change the way you look, ask yourself if your marriage is worth it.  I've noticed a huge difference in men being attracted to me when I have my makeup and my best clothes on, versus when I have no makeup and just wear regular clothes.   

5) Get a job where you work with only women. 

I'm saying a prayer for you right now, that you will see these situations logically, objectively, with wisdom and discernment, so that you will be able to resist these temptations. 
I also know that it's just like kids when they get to the checkout at the grocery store, they're tempted to steal candy because they know their mom won't buy it for them, but they're HUNGRY.  The problem is that they're hungry.  If they fix the hunger before they go into the store, they won't be tempted to steal the candy.   I am praying that your husband will open his heart to your hunger for admiration and love, and will meet those needs for you.  I am praying that even if he doesn't, that you will be able to resist these temptations.

6) Never give up fighting the temptation.  Getting together with a guy other than your husband will make your life worse, not better.  Just like the candy - it will only fill you up for moment, then your hunger will be even greater than before, your marriage will be devastated, and you will be ashamed.

Joe, thank you so much for your advice. I am going to ask my husband these questions this weekend. I also appreciate what the ADMiN had to say about making sure you are offering your husband what you are wanting in return.  I have been working hard on my PIES and working hard trying to figure out what I can do to get my husband's attention. 

When we courted he paid a lot of attention to me but literally once we were married it stopped and I feel like I'm lucky to get the crumbs of the day.  I haven't set my sights on attracting other men but I can tell you I feel starved for basic affection, attention and heart to heart intimacy.

I did become very cranky, mostly desperate, at one point when I started losing hope and I am taking baby steps to change my behavior and what I reflect in my reactions and actions toward him.  One day at a time, one step at a time...