Sandra,

I'm sorry your husband doesn't take you seriously when you tell him your needs. That is one of the biggest frustrations about marriage...when one partner is telling the other "I NEED THIS! I NEED THIS!" and the one listening responds with "I know you think you need this, but you don't." Even though they don't know that's what they're "saying" they say it with their actions. And it hurts. I've been on both ends of it so I know from experience how hurtful it can be.

As for you and your husband, I really think that talking to him isn't going to do it. Maybe you need to show him. And by that I mean, take the initiative and plan a date. Plan dinner and make reservations if needed. Then afterwards, plan dancing (or some form of activity) and take him there. It's a date but with the roles reversed. Instead of waiting on him, you do it and be proactive about it. Plan a fun filled evening and DON'T talk about kids, your feeling neglected, or anything of that nature. Just have fun and focus on him...on your marriage. Show him that even though you're married that you can still have fun together.

The reason he might not be hearing you when you say those things is b/c he may see it as nagging. And men HATE nagging! So, lay off of that for a while too. When he's in bed watching tv (which is a terrible place for a tv by the way) then curl up next to him with a book and just be there with him. You don't have to talk but just being there will show him that you care for him and want to be with him. Do that for a while and every now and then, ask him a question about what he's watching to show that you're interested in what he's into. Maybe that will help open the doors of communication.

The big thing is don't nag and don't sulk. Step up and take matters in your own hands b/c he's surely not doing anything about it. One other reason may be he's depressed about something or he's having a rough time at work. There could be many reasons that he's not responsive to you. Or it could just be your having marriage problems and he's shut himself off. If that's the case, then you may want to look into attending a LovePath 911 workshop. Click on the link at the top of the page for more information on it. It is a GREAT weekend for couples that are having marriage problems!