my husband left 2 mos. ago because i found out he was seeing other woman again. he is living at his mothers. I am so depressed. I dont want a divorce. this is the second time he had affair with this woman. I feel like I dont know him anymore. we have been togeter 30 yrs.

Dawn I must tell you that we only have true control over ourselves. When women and and men experience a loss of romance in marriage after some years ie affairs take place.  You mention this is a second time actually he never forgot her or truly stopped from the first time. I promise you that you will be just fine now's the time to congregate with those that are close and familiar to you, friends that are encouraging and non judgemental. If you are physically able start exercising it's great for the mental makeup. Wish you well darlin.

Hi, I want to send you a message of support. My own husband of 21 years left me last year, having a mid-life crisis, so I know how crap it feels to be left high and dry after a long time of being married.
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I want to tell you not to feel bad about yourself. Stay strong. We invest so much of ourselves in our partner, that when they leave, you feel that a section of you has also gone. There is no explanation that can put things right again. There is no logic to what has happened. You probably are beating up yourself mentally hour by hour, dissecting what is wrong with you and what you could or should have done differently, but at the end of the day, you HAVE to come to the realisation that this is not about you - this is about him. You have probably, like me, done nothing wrong. You never wanted this, and thought that you had a good relationship. Men are wired so completely differently to women. We tend to consider romance and commitment, whilst, the majorty (but not all) men just are self-centered and want, well... what they want - and that's all that counts in their books.

I am concerned that this is not the first time he has 'strayed.' I think it's time that you respected yourself more. Treat yourself as an individual who is fully capable of surviving, hell, thriving, on your ownl.  Yes, it's hard, very hard, at first to get used to sleeping alone, socialising alone, but with time and confidence, you can do it. Why on earth would you consider ending what sounds like a loving, caring beautiful person's life, over someone who can't keep it in his pants?! Be proud of who you are, and the decent human you are. None of what's happening is fair. In fact, in sucks, big-time, but do the honourable thing for yourself and SHINE girl! Show this low-life what he's missing out on - get a new hairstyle, some new makeup, go out for a dance or a movie and give yourself a break - this is not your fault, and to a greater extent is out of your control - so stay in control and don't let him drag you down. Sooner or later, the gloss will fade on this other woman, and whether you decide to take him back or not, will be in your control, not his...

Sending you a huge virtual hug and encouragement to be proud of yourself and to keep yourself busy - you are SO not alone in this...