I'm 45 yrs old and have been divorced for 15 years with no children.  I was married for 5.5 yrs and was not ready to get married when I did.  When I was married I felt trapped and had two affairs.  After my divorce,  I was in a 7 yr relationship with someone I was not in love with and that relationship ended since I did not see a future with him.  A while after that relationship ended I met a wonderful man and we have been together for 2.5 yrs.  He was married for 18 yrs and has two daughters from that marriage.  He was married right out of high school and always regretted getting married.  He was not in love with his wife and stayed for 18 years to keep the family together.

This is a man I see my future with.  He is everything I wanted in a partner.  My fear is marriage.  When we discuss marriage I get so defensive and shut down.  He has told me that I am the person that he wants to be with forever and he loves me so very much and one day he will want to get married.  I love him so very much and I have told him that i fear the union of marriage and all it's legalities.  He takes it as I don't want to marry him.

Our relationship has it's ups and downs and there is stuff that we need to work on before any wedding decisions are even made.   I feel that things are good the way they are and marriage would only complicate things and we would not be happy any longer. 

Can I get some feed back and advice.