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Dm0430
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« on: April 13, 2012, 05:27:35 AM »

Hello and good morning. -  I am new to the forums here and I am just seeking some outside opinion on things.
My wife and I have been married for almost five years and together for abojt nine.  I am 29 and she is 27.
We have had a good marriage really, things are not always easy as with all things.  One thing that puts stress on things is that I am serving in the military.  When you have to leave for a.year at a time for deployments, or for a month oe more for training things can get difficult.  I feel that for.the most part we communicate well.  Usually if one of us has an issue it gets addressed quickly and very rarely is there any drama.
Unfortunately it.seems that there is certainly a loss or lack of passion, and most days I feel like therebis no excitement.  We enjoy each others ,ompany and we go out together on little dates and spend time with each other going downtown and such. 
The way that I am feeling though, is that we have become room mates.  First, I definately have a higher aex drive.  This became clear when we got married.  Dating she would initiate and seem to really Want, and I felt.wanted and desired.  When we got married.that stopped.  This is something thag we have spoken about, many times now o,er.the.years.  She has addressed herlow libido through her physician and no reason has been found.
I do what I can to make her happy.  We both work, we share household.chores, a.d I would think that responsibilities are shared equally.  I also occasionally do small things to make her feel wanted and appreciated such as leave her messages when I leave for work.  Bring small.gifts for her because honestly, I know she likes.these things and seeing her happy makes me happy. 
These tokens of appreciation though are not really returned.  We tell each other that we love each other anf we are affectionate outside of the bedroom but after five years I feel that I am at a loss for what to do.  I cant remember the last time I saw her genuinely excited regarding me,us, or for.the.things that we do.  Sex feels more like going through the motions, and we have made attempts to spice things up.  But the feeling of want is not there.  The feeling of being desired is not there.  The feeling of appreciation is not there.  All of this, I have brought up, not in a confrontational way but to express how I am feeling. 
Am I expecting too much? 
Thanks for the input in advance.
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Dm0430
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« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2012, 06:45:58 AM »

Sorry about the punctuation and grammar.  Typing on a touch phone and it doesnt scroll well as I type.
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curlysue321
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« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2012, 11:58:34 PM »

Passion dies after about four years and then marriage becomes hard work.  You could see a sex therapist about your sex life. 
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