recently married and now doubts

savjoe
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« on: October 30, 2009, 04:24:45 PM »

hi everybody... well to start from the beginning. i am 22 years old and the men of my dreams february 2008 in a bar. he was on block leave from iraq (soldier us-army).
after 3 months of no contact he found me on myspace and we started talkin on a daily basis. i really liked what i read and couldnt wait for the next email. in august 08 we met up again for one weekend and had lots of fun together. in september when we met the 3rd tiime '(since we lived 6 hours away from each other) we started dating. we were able to meet up every other or 3rd weekend. in january he had to go germany and asked me to marry him one week before he left. i said yes.

right after he left i joined the air force and got germany for my first duty station. i will leave in one week from now. one month ago we got married via proxy since we werent able to see each other since december... and he is deploying within the next 3 weeks. which means i wont see him for another year.

i think he is the most genuine guy i have ever met and love him from the bottom of my heart. but at the same time i realize that we have only seen each other maybe 2 weeks in total since we started dating (over a year ago). can you knwo someone jsut from emails and phone calls???? i mean if you look at it i have married a guy that i have seen for only 14 days out of 400... we have never lived together or spent more than 7 days in a row together... was it the right decision? my heart says yes, but lookin at the facts ppl think i am crazy.


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chefsean
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Re: recently married and now doubts

« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2009, 11:41:26 PM »

It's not ideal for sure but also not unusual in this day and age. I personally know people this type of relationship has worked out well for.

It would be awesome if you two could spend time together in Germany.

It's not an easy thing but can and has been done successfully with outstanding results.

::Big Hugs:: hon

I'd like to thank you both for your service and please and click on 'Chefsean' and click 'Send this member a personal message' and give me you guy's first names and I would be happy to add you both to my prayers.

Try and stay in touch when you can.

Chef

Sean


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"If the divine creator has taken pains to give us delicious and exquisite things to eat, the least we can do is prepare them well and serve them with ceremony." -Fernand Point

pappabear
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Re: recently married and now doubts

« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2009, 12:36:38 PM »

Hi Savjoe,

I happen to know a couple in that situation right now. I'm sure it's very difficult. I'm curious if you two have talked about whether he wants to re-enlist when his service time is up. If he knows you feel this way, he might choose not to enlist again. That's certainly a possibility - especially if he knows how you feel.

What are your thoughts on that?


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savjoe
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Re: recently married and now doubts

« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2009, 05:58:12 AM »

hi pappabear

Yes, we have talked about it. I told him i dont want hiim to re-enlist again and i guess he wont. we both want children and will give it a try as soon as he gets back from iraq.

i just started my air force career and dont want to give up on that. what i am scared of is the fact that we seem to know each other very well, but actually we dont. once he gets back from iraq we will move in together. what if it wont work out? what if i think i know him, but then he shows his real face?

i do love him from the bottom of my heart, no doubts, however, i realize that before i got to germany he was acting weird sometimes.. not picking up the phone over the weekends... or even turned off... i got the feeling he was hiding something from me.


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pappabear
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Re: recently married and now doubts

« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2009, 09:06:59 AM »

Savjoe,

I'm confused. You want him out of the military, but you won't give it up? Wouldn't that just leave the same risk of you two being separated for long periods of time? I'm wondering why the rules appear to be different for him. Have you ever thought about it that way?


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grnhoods
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Re: recently married and now doubts

« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2010, 10:57:00 PM »

Every one get face this type of problem after marriage, so don;t be tensed,.. after some time every thing will be alright. Frustrated!

be happy and understand each other.

Good Luck !!!


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