Hello everyone, glad I found this forum as I am just about at my wit's end. My wife Kelly and I have been married for just over 1 year however we were in an exclusive relationship with only each for 5 years previous. I believe that people change and grow and that you have to be willing to give space at times but I believe my marriage is deteriorating because of that idea.

Kelly and I have very different pasts. I was the party guy who never took anything seriously until later in life. She was the quiet reserved one who never had many friends and was a homebody. Kelly recently has been visiting bars with coworkers after work which is fine. I have met these people and they are not bad people but they are all younger and none of them are married. However, it is more and more frequent. Now it is 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes getting rather drunk. I myself don't like that whole scene any longer and do not go, but have always said I do not mind if she does. It has now come to the point that her behavior flat out bothers me and I am dead set against it, but don't know how to communicate this. I feel like this is not the person I married. I feel like she does not want to be around me as much as she would like to drink and hang out with coworkers. I do not believe there is infidelity involved, but i am sure worried that it can easily approach that scenario. It makes me wonder if she is regretting her decision to marry as she is in her twenties, I my thirties and she may be "missing out" on all of the typical 20-something fun.

I have told Kelly that I worry about her and she says she is always safe and she only goes to bars with her coworkers and in groups. I have said that sometimes it is not her but the OTHER person I worry about. These words seem to fall on deaf ears.

I have asked jokingly at times just as Kelly was about to leave that maybe she would have more fun playing a game with me or some fun activity that keep us both interacting with each other at home and without alcohol. Kelly says that she has already made plans to go out and cannot break them.

I mean, is this it for us? I feel like I am not married. It feels more like I have a roommate than a wife. I have never been more frustrated in my entire life. I feel like I am putting effort into the relationship and seeing no return. I am open to any and all advice. Thank You.

Why do you keep letting her go out without you? You are a couple and have to behave like one! I think she is testing the limits right now and it won't be too long until she decides that the marriage life is not for her. You have to sit and have a serioes chat with your wife and decide what to do next so you BOTH will be happy in this relationship!

Oh my, stop the pussey footing around.  She is married; at the end of the day she belongs home with you.