Hi everybody! I'm new to Marriage Helper.  

My background:  
My wife had an affair in late Summer/Fall of 2008. When she shared this with me, she ended the affair and we both decided to work on our marriage. The other man wanted to remain friends with her. We had a great anniversary at a B&B in Oct 2008 and had a nice vacation in Nov 2008.  Christmas was great too.  In early Jan 2009, she said she didn't know if we would end up together...

We still had a nice Valentine's Day in Feb 2009 and things went slowly downhill after that.  I took some bad advice from a counselor at the end of March 2009:  I stopped saying "I love you" unless she said it first (thinking that maybe she felt awkward when I said this).  I also stopped holding her hand and the physical touching, which was a big mistake.  At the end of March 2009, she gave me a big hug and said she didn't know what to do -- she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me or the other man.  She said she didn't have fun with me and that the passion was fading, but she had a lot of passion and fun with the other man.  

To make this long message short, she decided to move out in Aug 2009 (she moved in with other man).  We still kept in touch for the first few months, but now I just usually leave msgs on her voicemail at work and we sometimes exchange E-mails.  I was laid off from work so she is still trying to help me find a job -- main reason she is still in contact with me.  She still cares about me, but says she is no longer in love with me... she said she has "moved on".

She filed for divorce on 3/22/10.  In the state where I live, in order for the divorce to go through, both spouses have to agree to the divorce and be separated for at least 6 months.  If one spouse disagrees, the separation must be 2 years (unless there was mental or physical abuse).  There was no abuse (emotional or physical) in our marriage.  However, in the divorce papers, she claimed that there was repeated mental cruelty.  I believe she put this in there because she wants the divorce sooner than later.  

I love her and want to save our marriage.  I'm planning on asking her to go to the LovePath911 seminar this week.  I'm fairly certain if I tell her I want to save our marriage, she won't attend.  However, if I say that I am looking for closure and some resolution (and I would add that in order to let her go, I would need something like this), she might say "maybe"...  What are your thoughts?  I will also post this in the affair category as well.

Thanks for reading!

hello . . . !!!
em also new here , nice to meet you !!!
looking forward to get so much useful info and some good friends from here , nice forum , keep up the good work . . . !!!

Hello all guys, I am new comer here.
Nice to meet you. I wish you best of luck.