My husband and I have been together for almost four years, married for seven months. For the first two years we were together, we had sex very often, maybe an average of three times per week. It declined a little in the time following, and since getting married, we have had sex maybe three times. He has a fetish that I won't fully explain here, but involves me doing something and him masturbating to it. For the past several months, he will ignore me completely, until the fetish strikes him and he wants it. I don't really enjoy fulfilling this fetish for him, but I do it anyway because I do want him to be fulfilled. However, this is the only thing that he wants. He does not want to actually have sex with me. I have asked him multiple times about it and he has blatantly told me that he's just not interested. He doesn't even want to try to "fix it" because to him, there's nothing "wrong".
I've had a very hard time dealing with this. I'm not a particularly sexual person to begin with, so when my rare sexual advances are turned down, I just don't know what to do.
Also, shortly after getting married, he admitted to me that he had lied about being a virgin when we met. He also lied to me about wanting to have children. I'm very upset about the fact that he said he wanted to have kids eventually, then told me he only said that because he didn't want me to leave him! He lied to keep me, but I'm not sure why he wants to keep me since he doesn't want the same things out of life.
I'm just really confused and don't know what to do. Every time I try to talk to him about any of this, he pretty much tells me I'll need to get over it or ask for a divorce.....