friend told me about these marriage helper forums   I don't really know how to do this

Sex has been taken as a Hostage in our marriage and I have been put on notice. im confused?  we have been on the rocks for awhile but not because of anything like an affair, it is just stupid stuff that builds and builds.  I need that emotional and physical release at least once in awhile. One doesn't satisfy without the other.  I don't want to find a professional or resort to porn or some kind of fling.  we talk, weeat, we watch TV we can even work together but there is an unbreakable imaginary wall in bed, I am no longer allowed on that side of the wall.  How can I handle this

Neither partner in a marriage has the right to arbitrarily stop sex. If there are issues of a physical nature, abuse emotional or physical, infidelity...that is different. Stopping sex by one or the other partner for no major reason can also be a strong indicator of infidelity.

But simply because a marriage is on the rocks is all the more reason to focus on the physical, as a way to bring you closer. I speak from experience.

My wife and I have been married for 20+ years...we are a very young and fit 50 and 47. It is because of our love life. It is the rare day we do not make love, and it is ALWAYS by mutual consent if we do not.

And no, this is not just the mans perspective...my wife regularly is complemented on her looks, youthfulness, skin-tone...her answer is always the same when asked what her secret is...

"I look this way because I am blessed by God, happy with myself, and I have the love of a good man every night!"

Do not make it more complex than it is. Everyone needs sex...period. Even women, though many women would deny it is a need, it is!! And no, emotional closeness before sex, is NOT a prerequisite. Ask any woman who truly knows herself, and she will tell you the same!

You are married for cryin out loud...this is about rebuilding, not going without and proving yourself all over again. If that is the case, move on, because it is OVER!! Perhaps it is not you who has to do the proving...