No sex, no love making, no nothing! In the last year I've had sex with my wife maybe 4times,maybe! Birthday nope, fathersday nope! It's to the point that I've stopped asking/trying! I get made when I do think about it, because I've been rejected for so long. So everytime I'm in the mood i just have to put it out of my mind, because I know not to even try!
 Her friends have made nice comments about me, so has my brothers wife! My best friends ex wife, an last night a friend of hers was trying to make moves on me! I'm not a cheater, not going to step out of my marriage, but what gives? It seems like everybody wants to fuck except my wife! She's not wanting to workout or eat right with me! Dec 1st I start back at the gym, I'm going to have to lead be examle I guess?
I'm at aloss why she rejecting me? Were 30,31 I'm not bad looking, or to bad out of shape. Haven't been mean, or an ass! Got her gifts for her birthday, an other special days! She knows with me that when the sex stops everything else shuts down! I'm at my end with trying as you can tell! I'm starting to turn away from my marrige because of this!
 Im not going to live unhappy In a sexless marriage!

Thanks for letting me rant! This is my first post! Any advice i'm happy to take!
 
Redcar

Redcar,

I'm answering this question for you and the multitudes of other men that have the exact same situation:

It is rarely the case that your wife has suddenly become non-sexual.  If I were to guess I'd say that she was probably VERY sexual when you were dating or during the early years of your marriage, otherwise you would not have married her.  What happened since then, however, has less to do with her than it has to do with you.

Before you got married.. you expected that the level of intimacy would continue or even improve.  Your wife expected that the level of romance, seduction, dating, adventure, etc. would continue or even improve.  But we know that life happens... you get married... your focus on winning the bride is over... and you shift your focus on your career.  She focuses on career/making a home/raising kids/feeding the family.  You have both taken your focus off the relationship and you begin to take each other for granted.

Now...fast forward...  You are in a sexless marriage now.  How the hell did this happen?  Before we explore that you need to understand ONE thing that my marriage mentor taught me long ago.

"A woman ALWAYS reacts to the man in her life."

Another way of saying it is "A woman FOLLOWS her man."

If you really grasp this SIMPLE yet POWERFUL concept, then you will be able to turn your marriage around and enjoy all the sex you can handle.

When a woman get's TURNED ON... it is because of WHO YOU ARE and WHO YOU ARE BECOMING.

The same is true in the opposite fashion... she could be turned OFF because of WHO YOU ARE and WHO YOU ARE BECOMING.

The solution for you is simple then - "Become the confident, strong, fearless, masculine MAN in her life who knows how to meet her emotional needs, and can romance, seduce, woo, and draw out her sexuality."

You cannot learn how to be this kind of man by listening to your wife.  She expects you to ALREADY BE this kind of man.  She is not going to TELL you how to turn her on... she just expects you to KNOW it... and she also knows that you DON'T know it and that is why she has put all her energy into everything else except being sexual with you.  You can only learn this from other men... who have been down this road before you... who are currently enjoying all the sex they want.  

Your wife is not broken.  While she may appear to be non-sexual right now... that is HER reaction to YOU.  This is GOOD NEWS!  Because now you can learn to operate differently and get a better reaction from her in the future.  You already know your wife was sexual once... she STILL IS... and it is up to you to bring her back to that frame of mind in which she was HIGHLY attracted and HIGHLY sexual with you.  The good news is that it doesn't that long to do.

To get the information you need right now, you can find it here: http://www.leadyourmarriage.com/more-sexual-marriage

Now Redcar,

In your specific case...  it doesn't matter how much money you make, how good you look, how good a father you are (if you have kids).  Your wife doesn't care about ANY of that.  All she cares about is how you make her feel everyday.

If you can GIVE to her... the feelings that she wants (and she won't tell you what or how)... then she will warm up to you again.  You can go from 4 times a year... to once a week.... to 2-3 times a week.... to 4-5 times a week if that's what you want.

Please check out the details of "How to Create a More Sexual Marriage Relationship" I believe that one will serve you well.

I also want to tell you about a friend of mine.  He's someone I care about and talk to regularly... and he told me that he was only "getting it" once a quarter.  Which is the same frequency as you right now.  He did NOT check out the materials and blew it off saying "Ahh..  It'll never work... my wife is just not into sex anymore."  I wish I could have convinced him then... but I wasn't able to.  A year later... he came to me with tears... "She's cheating on me." he said.  Suddenly... his "Non-Sexual" wife was entrenched in TWO affairs... one with a guy at work... and another with a neighbor.  Having more sex in one month than my friend has had in his entire life!

I'm not saying that your wife would suddenly have an affair.  But you BOTH have breaking points.  It's only a question of WHO is going to break first.

The only other thing I will say is that... We know you're unhappy with the lack of sex in your marriage.  But guess what... even though she won't admit it to you... your wife is unhappy about it too.  She needs YOU to lead her to a better place.  

Thanks for listening... if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask me in private or on this forum.

It's my sincere hope that you find the answers you're looking for in the materials I've suggested.  It did wonders for me personally... and for the men before and after me.

Hope this helps,
David

It just feels so onesided all the time! I change an do all these things for her, then after awhile it  nolonger works! So now we start over agin an agin! Why am I always having to stop reflect an reinvent! I guess I just get sick of kissing her butt, an feeling like I'm the only one trying!
 Im sure it's the wrong way to be, but my cup is just about full of her shit! I'm going to let her come to me this time! I'm not going to ask or try! Maybe she will see that I'm not happy, or maybe she doesn't care? No matter how pretty or nice a woman is,some out there is tired of her shit, an that's about to be me!

Should I try an man up some more? I'd like to but I'm alittle thin on the "want to" part of trying!

Thanks we will see?
Redcar

Redcar,

Your wife doesn't want you to better yourself... because then SHE will have to better HERSELF in relation to you.  It appears that maybe she LIKES you being under her thumb and in control of you.  SHE wants to dictate when you have sex and when you don't.

So if you're tired of all that... then please look at the materials I mentioned earlier in this thread.

One of two things will happen if you do.

You'll either have your current wife be the sexual goddess you want... and YOU call the shots...

or..

You'll let go of a non-contributing wife and attract her replacement.

Either way you win... so why not get the materials?

idsweetie72,

I'm not going to blast you for it.  Because in this situation... your husband actually CARES about your needs.  It's obvious to me that if your husband were to suddenly say to you.."Baby.. I'm getting back my feelings for you... and I want to be the man that satisfies you."  You'd probably drop your boyfriend in a second.

This to me is no different than if your husband were a paraplegic and had NO ability to obtain an erection... and didn't want to use an apparatus.  A decent man would want to make sure his wife's needs were met.

This is not what Redcar is dealing with...

For Redcar... his wife is more or less sending this message to him:

"I don't care about your needs... I'm NOT going to do anything for you... and you better not go looking elsewhere either.  If you cheat on me our marriage is done and over with... but again... I'm not giving my body to you so you are just going to have to live the rest of your life in a sexless marriage...because I am happy this way!"

So Redcar should obviously not put up with this situation...but he still has some work to do first.