I think my husband has a problem and he refuses to see it. I understand that men think about sex more than women. But I think my spouse goes overboard. He has to turn every conversation into a sexual one. He watches porn faithfully, maybe just as much as he changes underwear. He loves to masterbate to it, and act it out. He even has to masterbate when he wakes up, before he goes to bed and if he's home throughout the day. During sex he has asked me to call him another guys name. He buys pills, penis enlargers, dildos, and gets upset because I don't like to use them. It freaks me out because I don't think it's curiosity, more so some sick fantasy. He has asked me for a threesome, I agreed to make him happy but couldn't follow through. That was the topic of every conversation for about two months. When we're out in public, he'll ask me if certain girls are my type and can we bring her home. I immediately had to change my mind about it. But he still talks about doing it. Am I the problem in this situation?

Men think about sex more than women? What men? What women? That's a really broad statement that's probably a harmful thing for your marriage if that's your mind set.

I like most of the toys you mentioned and my husband and I have a lot of fun with them. The threesome thing...well I won't get personal in that one, but that could be a big problem if he doesn't back down. But give the guy a break and see if you can rock his (and your) world so that he doesn't have external fantasies. Why wouldn't you? No offense, but I don't understand why some people still seem to act like they're teenagers doing something wrong when they have sex and treating it like they've got to take every sex act to trial before they do it with the person they're married to! When you're married to someone, do it all with them and to them! I'm not saying you do the threesome but we can at least say that it makes sense to do it all with him that doesn't include somebody else. When I walk in on my husband masterbating, I don't see it as that I've "caught him" doing something. I see it as something fun. I smile and ask if he wants any help. Or I start taking my clothes off. Or I join him. Why not turn that into something fun? He shouldn't be made to feel guilty because he's sexual. Blame God for that if you want, but...it's a blessing not a curse so I'm not sure why you would "blame" anyone.

Just try to cut down on that negative attitude. So he thinks about sex a lot. So he has fantasies. He's got a lot of sexual energy. Rather than chatize him for it and become his enemy, why not take his side and funnel that energy from its source? I've learned to see male sexual energy as a beautiful and fascinating thing. That has charged up my own sexual energy that I think would have naturally been there had I not had prudes stomping it down when I was a girl and teenager.

I wish you the best and maybe that sex therapist idea is a good thing. But don't sit back and just be critical of his fantasies and sexual energy. Use that energy up so he won't be tempted elsewhere. Trust me, you'll like it too.

And now I'm horny. Gotta go.

I think you need to the embrace his sexuality and talk to him about what you feel...maybe you are insecure....my wife used to tell me all the time that I talk about sex too much and all the time...l felt out of place, frustrated....your husband has all that happening to him because he is not getting enough from you...trust me, every time, my wife does something special for me, or allows me to enjoy her body like i want, to me it means feel loved.....without it, i don't.....what can i say...i need to be with my wife as much as i can.....is the way i love her....but i do understand when she is not in the mood...and respect that, but for a long time, the issue of she making me feel pervert, was a big turn off for me....threesomes we talk, but decided it wasn't for us...right now.....but we have all the toys you can imagine, we do oral, anal, most nights she has 2 orgasms, sometime 3....and when tire, only one......she used to be very conservative, no letting me cum in her mouth, no letting me finger her, no letting me eating her out (both places)....so I was pretty much like your husband....well, i started working in our relationship and we still are.....sometimes is easier, sometimes not so much....but communication, is key.....good luck