I put this under the "sex" topic. But it is not about sexual acts. I am thinking about the sexual relationship, the sexual nature of marriage. After all, were it not for sex, I probably would have married my friend Terry, not some girl who doesn't even fish.

On this site and in all the "marriage books", I am continually reading about "meeting your husband's (sexual) needs". This aggravates me to death. I did not get married because I "need" someone to remove semen from my body. I can handle that task just fine, thank you (after all I was born with hands, not hooves.)

Funny, I had the idea I was committing to a life-long lover. Instead I got two things I did not need: A disciplinarian to monitor my behavior, and a weary mother figure. Mmmm, sexy.  Newsflash! I am not a child, and I already have a mother.

Mrs Flavius was hot as a firecracker for me until we got married (both virgins, BTW), then she changed. We've been married 24 years, and I have spent this whole time trying to invent some way to stir up a little romance, but with no success.

I know what you're thinking.  But you're wrong. I show her love in every way I can think of. I do half of the housework. I serve her like a butler. I coo over her beauty. She has no body issues, and is very uninhibited. We are equally attractive. And our sexual performance is just fine, once I can get her out of her flannel love-prevention pajamas. (Rev Joe Beam says barely half of marital encounters are "satisfying", but Mrs Flav scores multiple O's every single time--I see to that.) but still...she'd...just...rather...not. It hurts my feelings deeply when she rolls her eyes, or changes the subject, or gets suddenly sleepy. So these days I don't initiate much. For 24 years she hardly ever touches me, or looks me right in the eyes, or just stops to say "I love you." I have just about forgotten what it's like to be with someone who just plain desires me. But I have to admit, it sure sounds nice.

So she says, "I don't know what's wrong with me" or "I just don't need it that much." Well world, neither do I. So what? Neither do I "need" to be monogamous, or "need" split my income with her. But I do both eagerly, not grudgingly. How come "faithfulness" only includes what one spouse must live without, and not what the other spouse grimly witholds.

What kind of love is this? Not the kind I signed up for. I've been punked.

(And no, I don't care which spouse is the offender, my sister suffers the same indignity.)

I will reply in the next couple days...tied up right now...but this is importnat topic

Have you considered that you may just be too nice? Remember that there is a difference between a "nice guy" and a "good guy", and I can't really define it, but all women know the difference.

Cooing over her beauty, and doing half the housework seems more like a slave than a master.

I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying.