Thanks about it.

Hi, please be open-minded and willing to recieve this revelation. It will really help you.


In the beginning God made Adam a promise, that he would build or make a “Helper” that was tailor-made for him. God choose and made one that was fit for Adam.  God did not tell Adam to go out and choose a wife and then bring her back to Him so he could bless it. This is what many people do nowadays, they choose who they want to marry and then expect God to bless their decisions. God established marriage by promise not by man’s works.  In the beginning there was no pain and sorrow; pain and sorrow came because of their disobedience. Pain and sorrow comes because something is wrong, something is out of order. Pain and sorrow came as a sign of disobedience, whatever you sow you reap. Pain and sorrow came as a penalty not as a reward. Go back to Genesis, God told Adam and Eve “that in sorrow shall you eat of it all the days of your life [Genesis 3:17 (KJV)],” God cursed man’s wisdom.  When you get pain in your body you go to the doctor to find out what is out of harmony, when harmony is restored then pleasure comes. Pain is a side-effect of things that are out of order. You do not marry and work to become one; you marry because you are one. If you are not one in the beginning you are not one at the end. If the inner nature in the male and in the female were never in harmony in the beginning; then it won’t be in the end. No man seeking for grapes goes to a thorn bush to get grapes. And God said, “A good tree cannot produce evil fruit [Matthew 7:16-20 (KJV)].” If you are not of like-kind in the beginning how can you be in the end? If you didn’t sow harmony in the beginning how can you reap harmony at harvest time? If you plant a cucumber you will not reap a watermelon. When Adam stated that Eve “was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh,” he meant that Eve was a carbon copy of him, that she was one of like-kind, whose inner nature agreed with his. She was a true representation of him.  When you put two people together whose inner nature does not match you get discord. Discord means anything that is not in harmony. Harmony is that which flows together in unison.  Why would God have you in a marriage where there is no life, happiness, peace, love, etc…?  You have been going around the same mountain over and over again for 12 years. Satan and man have rearranged God’s order, but God is putting it back in its proper place. Jesus said, “Every plant that my Father did not plant (marriage) will be rooted up [Matthew 15:13 (KJV)], and Jesus also said, “Every tree that brings forth not good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire (circumstances that are not good) [Luke 3:9 (King James Version)].” Is your marriage bringing forth good fruit? God is the wise master builder, He has laid the foundation (Jesus) and others build upon it, but let every man take heed how builds, because every man’s work shall be made known by test and trial. If his work survives he receives a reward, if it does not, it will be dissolved; but, he will be saved through the dissolving [1Corinthians 3:10-15].
Jesus said, “If a man build his house(family) upon sand: when the rain descended, when the flood came, and the wind blows upon it, it beats upon that house and great was the fall of it [Matthew 7:17-27 (KJV)],” because it was not built upon a rock but sand. The word of God says, “Except the Lord builds a house (family), the laborer labors but in vain [Psalms 127:1 (KJV)].” Did God build your family or did you build it? Did you choose your own or did God choose it for you? If you did the choosing according to your good pleasure; then, you built your family upon sand. But, if you sought God’s counsel, his will, and his purpose for your life, then your family would have been built upon a rock. God established marriage by promise not by man’s works. God said in Haggai, “Consider your ways (or take inventory of your circumstances) [Haggai 1:3-11; Haggai 2:17 (KJV)].” Because everyone has run to build or establish his/her own house (family) and not sought God’s face to establish the house (family). God had brought economic hardship upon them to get their attention. Did you build your family or did God? Pray to Jesus and ask him if you established it or if he established your family. Because what God has put together let no one put asunder.
  Both of you guys are miserable and you have been praying all these years for God to answer you. Why do you labor in situations, circumstances, and relationships that profit you nothing? You sweat and toil; you sow much into these fields, but reap little. Do you want to know why? Go to http://themanchild.weebly.com/

I think the best thing you can do is talk to her because if you do not it will all come to a head one day and then it might be to late to save your marriage. I would reccommend sending the kids away for the night and just talking. let her know you can not take much more and you do not want to fight.

I agree with you on contacting her. You did nothing wrong she needed to know he was married in case she did not know. My advice, would be to just try and give him a little space. The more you fight with him to more he is going to want out. I am sure he probably picks a lot of the fights so this will require just grinning and nodding. I am really not sure if this will work, I know you do not want him to walk all over you either, but the more pleasent you are the more he will want to stay.

My husband, who is working in Afghanistan right now sent me an email in May saying he feels he is missing out on something. He thinks there is more to life then getting married and having kids. I was so taken off guard. I knew that we woild sometimes argue about the fact that he wanted to go every weekend with his friends and I wanted him to stay home. Other than that we had a happy good marriage. We have 2 kids and I am so upset. We have only recieved 2 phone calls that were brief and he seemed uninterested. He had said he was not talking divorce YET, but then all we ever got was replies to emails I sent him. I started trying to stop begging for him to come back and stoped sending so many pathtic emails. I did not want to play games I mean we are  32 years old and have 2 kids shouldnt we be beyond that? I have noticed he sent me a few emails without me sending 1 first and I called him the last 2 weekends to let oir daughters talk to him and he talked to me these talks were great we laughed but did not talk about our marriage at all it is just like an elphant in the room. I do not want to bring it up and push him away again by seeming to needy. It just hurts because I do not want him to string me along. A month ago I sent him an email telling him I did not want a divorce but needed to know if he changed his mind and wanted one so I can move on with my life. He said he still did not know he said he feels like something is missing but he also feels like something is missing there. He said we will have to wait and see what happens and to hang in there!! I am just looking to talk to other people because all I have is my sister and I think if I call her about this much more she might change her number lol.

Of course you should pray for her. And it shouldn't stop IF you get a divorce. You pray for your enemies, right? Why not continue to pray for your wife, even if one day she becomes your ex-wife? The power of prayer is strong! And it's even stronger if you believe God can and will do what you're asking.

You say she doesn't consider y'all married. Then you need to continue to be an example to her no matter what her actions are right now. Try to get her to come to the workshop!

Sandra,

I'm sorry your husband doesn't take you seriously when you tell him your needs. That is one of the biggest frustrations about marriage...when one partner is telling the other "I NEED THIS! I NEED THIS!" and the one listening responds with "I know you think you need this, but you don't." Even though they don't know that's what they're "saying" they say it with their actions. And it hurts. I've been on both ends of it so I know from experience how hurtful it can be.

As for you and your husband, I really think that talking to him isn't going to do it. Maybe you need to show him. And by that I mean, take the initiative and plan a date. Plan dinner and make reservations if needed. Then afterwards, plan dancing (or some form of activity) and take him there. It's a date but with the roles reversed. Instead of waiting on him, you do it and be proactive about it. Plan a fun filled evening and DON'T talk about kids, your feeling neglected, or anything of that nature. Just have fun and focus on him...on your marriage. Show him that even though you're married that you can still have fun together.

The reason he might not be hearing you when you say those things is b/c he may see it as nagging. And men HATE nagging! So, lay off of that for a while too. When he's in bed watching tv (which is a terrible place for a tv by the way) then curl up next to him with a book and just be there with him. You don't have to talk but just being there will show him that you care for him and want to be with him. Do that for a while and every now and then, ask him a question about what he's watching to show that you're interested in what he's into. Maybe that will help open the doors of communication.

The big thing is don't nag and don't sulk. Step up and take matters in your own hands b/c he's surely not doing anything about it. One other reason may be he's depressed about something or he's having a rough time at work. There could be many reasons that he's not responsive to you. Or it could just be your having marriage problems and he's shut himself off. If that's the case, then you may want to look into attending a LovePath 911 workshop. Click on the link at the top of the page for more information on it. It is a GREAT weekend for couples that are having marriage problems!

Cole,

One thing you can do to help with the jealousy issue b/w you and your husband is to not do the things that are making him jealous. I know that sounds very elementary but sometimes people don't think of it b/c they feel that they are having to give up something that they like and it may not be fair. But you can twist it and look at it from the angle of "Would I rather keep doing this and make myself happy or quit and make the person I'm spending the rest of my life with happy?"

As for his feelings for his ex, I doubt his "love" for her is at the same level of love he has for you. She may always have a special place in his heart for her, especially if they share children together. Or if they went through a major life changing event together, or something like that. But, it's really not something I'd worry about if I were you. Unless he's seeing her by himself and spending time with her. If that's happening then you need to cut that off!

But all in all, I think that if you just tell him your feelings of the ex, and do it in a way where you're NOT being mean about it then that will help.

Hope this helped!

Well that behavior is obviously not acceptable. Here's a very helpful article for couples in that situation. It's written by Joe Beam and is at http://www.marriagehelper.com/how_to_save_marriage_after_an_affair.php

Please read that first and let us know what your thoughts are. Remember that Joe is a specialist at helping couples overcome affairs, so going to his seminar would be ideal. Keep us posted.

I just found out that my husband has been seeing another woman. He denied it at first but came out with the truth. He says he hasn't slept with her but he could if he wanted to. Now what do I do?