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Author Topic: Pregnant and confused!  (Read 724 times)
7months
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« on: November 20, 2012, 06:55:44 PM »

I am a new member today. I was hoping that somebody could give me some advice on my current "situation". I have been married for just under two years. I found out in May that I am pregnant with our first baby. In September, my husband and I decided to take a final trip just the two of us to Cuba. While we were in Cuba, my husband pretty much acted like I was not there the entire time. He got drunk everyday and was talking to every person he could other than me. He even left me two nights during our trip to go party with some guys he met. I was devestated. Worst trip of my life. My husband apologized for the way he acted and I forgave him and promised not to bring it up again. When we got back from our trip, my husband told me about two weeks later that he was really stressed, did not feel like he even had a vacation and that he wanted to go back to Cuba. His initial intention was to go with another married co-worker. I was naturally opposed to this idea because a.) we just got back from Cuba two weeks ago and b.) we cannot really afford it. His friends were planning a weekend trip to Montreal which I told him gladly to go on so that he could relax and be with his friends, but the fighting continued for about three weeks until I finally told him to just go to Cuba (at this point the co-worker was unable to go). My husband opted out of going away for a weekend with his friends to going to Cuba alone for one week. My husband says that the reason he needed to go was to clear his head, because he and I had been fighting a lot for the past year and he just needed a vacation. My husband did not want me to tell my family, friends or even his family or friends that he went. He lied to his friends whom he had blown off. During the entire week he was there, I was absolutely devestated. I wanted to leave him so bad, but being 6 months pregnant, I could not. I ended up telling both his family and my family that he had gone to Cuba alone. Everybody asked me the same question.....Is he cheating on you? My husband swears up and down that he was not cheating on me and that he needed the vacation. Since he has come back, we have had our ups and downs, but I am trying really hard to forget about the pain he caused me in order to stay healthy througout the duration of my pregnancy. Every now and then though, I think about what he did to me and why and during what was suppposed to be one of the most precious times in my life, and I get so angry with him. He gets mad now every time i bring it up, so I am too scared to even bring it up to him anymore, because I just do not want to argue. He says he loves me and that he is excited to have a family with me and I do believe him, but how can somebody who loves you, do what he did to me? Am i being naive or stupid? Somebody help me, please!
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MaryAnn
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« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2013, 11:31:27 AM »

By now you have given birth to you child and I do pray that it all went well.  I do hope that things have cleared up between you and your husband.  He might have just been stressed with a new baby coming and was acting out because of the Stress.  Stress can do a lot of damage to marriages especially if they are not handled right.  I'm be interested to know if your husband still has the same behavior.  If he does it would be worth checking more into to find the reason he's doing the things he's doing.  You don't have to live in the far of losing your husband and raising a child on your own.  Try and talk to him and if he won't talk then seek outside help.  Maybe even talking to one of his close family members can help.  But keep in mind that talking to a family member that they will want to be on his side.  The best option is to find someone like a pastor or marriage counseling that doesn't know you both and seek counseling.   
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God Bless!
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