Been married for a long time 23 years  3 great kids one still in elementry, one high school senior, one  in 2nd year of college.  Weve had our ups and downs including affairs, addictions, and some abuse emotionally at least.  We do love each other but I have difficulty with his anger and run away instead of standing up to him.  Right now hes mad about my money habbits and spending which I think are reasonable and I also have resentments toward him for being so hard on me when he can go to vegas and blow an undisclosed amount of money.  He is demanding that I show him today where about $800 has gone in the last 3 weeks, which I can show him mostly all of it.  He drinks too much and was very abusive last night, more yelleing etc I left and he continued with calling me, saying dont come home or Ill make you leave.  I came home after he was asleep and when he woke up at 1am he physically made me leave.  I came in around 6am stayed in my car mostly, he almost acts as if nothing happened and cant understand why Im upset.  Its not that he doesnt remember, but hes not fully intoxicated.  I started going thru my banking to show him, and found an account that he recntly deposited $6000.00 into....Im blown away...I dont know where it came from, he has never mentioned it and now when he comes home I feel like turning it on him as he would on me if I had that kind of money and didnt tell him.  I really dont know what to say to him  I want to keep quite for now but I most likely wont be able too.  this is a nutshell or a more immediate problem among many  any advice?? 

You should have a talk with your husband about your findings.  Be prepared for him to accuse you of snooping into his affairs.  You need to be ready to explain how you found out.  Good thing to tell him up front how you found out about his savings that you don't know about.  I would also ask him if he wants to save this marriage.  If he says no then ask him why not.  Ask him if he's willing to go to a marriage counselor.  If he's not then you need to tell him he needs to leave if he doesn't want in this marriage.  Don't leave your home and child as he can say you deserted them and he could win custody of your child.  Check with an attorney before you give him the alternative of him leaving.  Good Luck, God Bless!