I'll try to make this as short as possible.  I was raped multiple times in the past.  My husband knows about this.  We've been married for almost 6 years.  Sex for me is difficult to get into.  We used to have sex alot but as the years went on, his addiction problems have almost tore us apart many times.  He smokes weed everyday and has for years.  In March, he left for 4 days with our car and stayed at his Mom's where he was drunk everyday.  He was raised in a bad home and his Mom was always and still is an addict.  All her boyfriends are alcoholics.  This has caused problems between us because I was raised by a good family that taught me better than that and we're close.  He has left me 5 times during our entire relationship to go get drunk or party because he knew I didn't want him to and I hate being around him not straight.  In the past he was violent but only when drinking.  He's been straight for months now and is treating me great but he still smokes everyday.  He tries to understand what I'm going through about the rapes but it's hard for him to get in the mood because he said he don't want to do anything I don't like or that makes me uncomfortable.  I told him I already explained to him what I didn't like and it shouldn't be an issue.  The other problem is my past.  I was with black guys in my past and he can't forget about it.  It's constantly on his mind.  He knows how they have hurt me and believe me I'm angry about it too, but I can't change my past.  I love him, I don't want anyone else, but he says he feels insecure because of it.  I told him that he's perfect for me and he knows I'd never be with anyone else.  He's chnaged alot since the last incident in March and doesn't want to lose me, but as much as we've been to a therapist or talked to people about this, he still asks why I don't get in the mood like before.  I can't explain it other than I have to be clean before I have sex and I want him to take a shower and brush his teeth first because he smokes cigarettes, by that time, we're both out of the mood.  He wonders why he's always depressed but he'll nver take anyones advice to do the right things to get out of his depression.  We've talked to 2 therapists and 1 quit seeing us because he didn't cooperate and she said things that I had said to him about needing to see a therapist for some medicine.  I'm having a hard time dealing with my past and worrying about making my husband unhappy along with the stuff he's done by leaving me to go party and I still have unresolved issues about.  He never does anything positive for himself.  He listens to death metal music about negative things, won't try to come to the realization that professionals, tv, other people, family and myself all have tried to get through to him about.  I take Zoloft for PTSD and try to better myself and do things to heal, but he wont do anything but deny that he has a problem.  Advice, Opinions and help please.  He says he don't want our marriage to fall apart but he never listens or tries to get help for himself. 

Along with all your therapy and counseling, have you looked into Codependency?  You write like a Codependent:  He this, he that, I tried but he..., I want but he.... he, he, he, he.........
Codependents are very dependent on their partner and others and focus totally on what the partner does or not.  I hope at least one of your therapists has drawn your attention to how focused you are on his behavior and not your own.  If not, search the web or in books for info about Codependency and see if you can learn how to get unhooked from it. 
He seems Codependent also - they usually go together so it might help him to be informed of this as well.
good luck