Please give me some advice. I met my wife almost 4 years ago and we were instantly and madly in love. we moved in together after a month and were talking and trying to have a baby about 8 months later. i have had other serious relationships before but never imagined i could feel so strongly for anyone. though things havent always been pretty. we had some pretty ugly arguments. about 11 months into the relationship we had a major argument and she left and it looked like for good. then a couple days later she called and said she was pregnant and basicly said the ball was in my court. we decided to get back together. we moved in with her parents for financial help and the arguements continued. we tried couples counseling but the counseler we could afford was about worthless. then the fighting began to become physical from both of us. i slapped her once but mostly i would just grab her arms. i do admit i have an anger problem. earlier this year we split up again due to my anger and our fighting. i begged her to give me another chance and she did. so we got back together and she decided she wanted another baby. at this point i was getting counseling on my own for my anger and we were really trying hard to make it work. she got pregnant and i decided to join the military for all the wonderful benifits it offers. well the military wouldnt accept me unless we were married. so since we put off getting married long enough and since we both assumed we would eventually get married anyway, we went and eloped. then before i left for the military we got into another fight and i lost control of my anger again. well i guess she had enough of my b.s. and she called the cops. i was arrested and since the legal system here is slower than molasas i spent a few months in jail. i havent heard much from her since but now that im out she says she wants a divorce. i know for a fact she still loves me and i would do anything to keep from loosing her. but i believe she is serious about the divorce. what can i do? can anyone help give me some advice? should i give up? i know it sounds cliche but she is the woman of my dreams. not to mention that we have 2 beautiful boys together. i know i have been far from perfect and i know i never will be but i have not stopped getting counseling and i feel i have my anger problem under control now. please help me! 

thank you so much for your opinion and advise.  anyone else have anything to add?

My husband has been verbally abusive for our entire marriage.  I have moved out and am more than willing to work on our relationship, we have a child together and I really do not want her to grow up affected by divorce.  Here is what I need to see in him to help me feel safe with him. 
I need him actively working an anger management program.
I need him in counseling for our marriage, yes, BUT most importantly in counseling for himself. I need to see action that tells me he knows his anger issues are ruining his life.  I don't need to hear him say it, I need to see him DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
I need him to stop ALL raging now!  PERIOD.

In the meantime I am working on me.  I am not a victim and refuse to be a volunteer. 

Go to the workshop if you can, we did and it put our train back on the tracks.  We still have a lot of work to do but it did help.