i posted earlier and i have had no replies i am really in need of some advice.my husband and i have been married almost a year and were having so many issues i lost count.our biggest issue is trust.i learned that he has a gambling problem and he has lied so many times by telling me he wont go he will stop but he didn't.I've tried helping him in many ways but his response is he is a big boy and he doesn't need another mom.what he doesn't realize is that he goes and blows our money that we really need for bills etc. there has been a couple of times he went and cleaned out our account and then had to go and get a loan to cover the bills that were due and to buy food for us and the kids.the last straw for me was when he made a promise to me that he wouldn't do it again i believed him because he never makes a promise well when he broke this one i felt like my heart was torn out.i want to give up on us i went to my moms and stayed the night i was done i wasn't coming back but i did.he says he will change and then its fine till a few days then its all back to the same thing he is the man and he is in control.i want to keep us together but i cant believe anything he tells me anymore.please help me on what i need to do to save my marriage.

thank u so much for talking with me u were the only one.i have done like u said we have talked over and over about it till im blue in the face and he still keeps trying to hide it.I've cried so many tears and im just about out of ideas.he gets so bad that things didn't get paid i even went and took him off our joint account and got my own.but before i did that when we still had our joint account he went and opened his own so he had our joint that he would screw up and also screw up his at the same time.i finally expressed to him that im tired of the secrets so he supposedly closed his and we just had the joint now we both have our own due to the fact that i cant worry if the moneys gonna be in there for the drafts that come out.he also throws in my face all the time that its his money he works i don't so he said he who makes the gold rules the castle he is such a brat about so many things i wanna just scream.yes he works and makes the paychecks but when your married i think its fifty fifty.he agrees with that then when he gets mad he does it again well its my money i will do what i want to.he says i always get things taken care of don't i and yes he does but that consists of him gambling to try and earn the money back or he will go get a loan and that has just put us further in debt.i wish i was working again but when we got together i just stayed home to take care of him the house bills chores and his kids when they were over.now i cant work because im having surgery on Friday and its gonna be awhile before i can work again but i know one thing im doing everything i can to not just walk out this door and not look back.its killing me inside and i seem to get nowhere with him.i know this sounds awful but i would rather him have an affair then do what he is doing to me now.like i said we've been together 2 years and married for almost one year.we have looked into marriage counseling that hasn't happened yet.he works so much he is only home one or two days a week as it is.we do talk on the phone alot when he is at the station but in the back of my mind i still know that he is going to the casinos because theres to much time not counted for and he always pauses when i ask him certain questions.i love him to death but i don't really like me anymore cause im tired of being torn apart inside all the time.like i said he promised me it would never happen again and he doesn't make promises so since he broke that one i don't know what to believe anymore.i want it to work but its so easy for me to just run away but I've done that most of my life i want to keep us together but i don't know what else to do I've tried everything.I've done the self help books medication for compulsions when he has them i even told him that i will leave and next time not come back.I'm married to a liar and I'm so hurt that i usually just cry and stay stressed out and avoid seeing anyone just so i can gather my thoughts.sorry i know I'm rambling on but i really am glad to talk to you thank you once again hope to here from u soon

I agree with Josh! It is very important that you and your husband seek professional help. I totally understand when you leave and go back... it's so hard to walk away when you love your husband! There are days when I feel like walking away and I get so angry but then I think about our son and the life we have built together! Stay strong and stick to your guns... this is affecting not only you but your children and your husband. Hopefully he will agree to talk to a professional and then maybe he will realize the strain that he is putting on your marriage! My thoughts are with you and I wish the very best for you! Good luck and I hope you both can work this out!!!