I don't know what to do or how to feel. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for almost 3 of those years. My husband told me March 12,2010 that he loves me but that he ISNT IN LOVE WITH ME!! I asked him if there was someone else, because isn't that the first thing that a person thinks about? He said no, and I believe him! I thought things were great and we were happy! I was shocked and I still cant believe it. We have a healthy marriage, the sex is great and we get along really good... what should I do? He also has told me that there are days when he wants to work on the marriage and then there are days where he could "just walk away". We have a 14 year-old son and I want to work on our relationship for the sake of all of us! We have been seeing a psychiatrist since the end of March and I feel we haven't gotten anywhere... he is always saying "I don't know and I don't want to hurt you because I do love you". My husband is a wonderful man and an amazing father. My world was turned upside down that day he also says that it's not me it's him!
I have never been jealous or insecure throughout our entire relationship but now I feel insecure. I don't understand what went so wrong. We are still living together and the weird thing is... is that the majority of the time we act as if nothing ever happened.
I love him and I know he loves me... I told him that I will do whatever it takes and wait as long as it takes for him to find his way back to me. We are trying to show eachother more affection but usually I am the one to make the first move and I'm the one who says I love you first... he tells me he loves me back... and that's better thenwhat it was because at first he wouldn't even respond. I know he got really depressed and is now on antidepressant medications.
Our entire family, both on my side and his along with friends are shocked with what is going on!
He was spending time with a young girl and at first I didn't care because we would all hang out together.. but there were nights he would hang out with her alone until early in the morning... like I said I trust him and I believe him when he tells me that he is not cheating on me, but when your husband that you adore and feel so much love for tells you (out of the blue) that he isn't in love with you anymore... I started to question everything! I asked him if that girl made you feel something... then is that the reason why you feel the way you do about me. I feel that it had to be something like that because someone had to make you feel that special way for you to realize that you don't have those same feelings for your wife anymore!
I could ramble on and on... thanks for listening and does anyone have any advice?

My advice to you would be to look into attending the LovePath 911 workshop. Since you've been together for close to 15 years, things can change and feelings can fade a little if needs aren't being met. This other girl is not helping the situation either. If he feels "good" being with her and not so good w/ you, then there's a big problem there. I don't know enough of the situation to tell you wheather he's cheating on you w/ her or not, but here are some signs you can look for: http://www.marriagehelper.com/is_your_husband_or_wife_having_an_affair.php

I hope things get better. In the meantime you need to look into both of you attending the workshop! I really think it will help your situation!

Reading all of this and seeing more in depth your situation, I really feel that both of you need to go to the LovePath 911 workshop for marriages in crisis! I don't mean to sound like a commercial, but if you want any chance of your husband finding his way back to you, this is it! It is a very intense and in depth 3 days and it focuses on teaching you the "Love Path." How feelings develop and how feelings fade and where on the "path" that happened.

It is not marriage counseling, it is a workshop. So, don't think that just b/c counseling didn't work that this won't. I believe that if anything will save your marriage, this will! Click on the link at the top of the page or go to http://www.marriagehelper.com/marriage_seminar.php

You can also call 866-903-0990 and talk to someone and they can help you make a more informed decision. But you do need to look into this, or the route it's going now is how it's going to stay...unless he wants a divorce. And it sounds like you are miserable. I'm sure your husband is too but there is a great tool out there that you need to take advantage of before it's too late. Call the number or click on the link and be proactive about this instead of sitting around feeling like there's no hope!

I'm really not trying to sound heartless by saying that, it's just my husband and I were in a really bad place a year ago. We were fighting all the time, had resentment towards each other for various things along with other problems. It came to a point where all we did was fight. We both wanted out. We have 2 little boys, and we were staying together for them (which is a great reason by the way!). One day it came to a head and we knew we needed to get help or it was over...literally. The LovePath 911 workshop was that weekend and we called and registered. It was a very hard weekend. I had to face the things I was doing to push him away and he had to do the same. We learned so much that weekend about how our actions impacted each other, how our different personalities came into play and how to deal with that, the way a reaction can damage a marriage and how the "Love Path" works! By the end of the weekend, we knew we were going to make it...we still had a lot of work to do but we knew we had to put into practice what we learned. We both left the workshop with hope and felt relief! It's been a year and we're still together and very happy! I don't even want to think about where we would be right now if we hadn't have gone!

That's why I REALLY think you and your husband need to go to this! It will open your eyes to so many factors that affect a marriage and give you insight and knowledge on how to fix it! Please!! Please look into this, or you will either live the rest of your life in a marriage that makes you (and him) miserable, or both of you can go to this and find out how to fix things!