I met this girl a few months ago. We'd been hanging out as part of a group for a while, then recently started just hanging out together and texting each other basically all day.

After a few weeks of this, I asked if she wanted to be more than friends, and she did. We went on two dates after that. After the first one, she went on about how much fun she had and how she couldn't wait to see me again. She seemed really excited about me in general ("I had so much fun last night" etc.). But, after the second one, I asked her if she had fun, but she just said she was "struggling with the more than friends thing".

I tried to give her some time to think, but I couldn't help it and started asking questions. The only reason she would give is that she "thought she liked me that way, but now she doesn't think she does". When I asked her what caused her to change her mind, she said "You're cute, interesting, nice, and funny, so I don't really know why I don't like you in that way."

So, I was just wondering if anyone could give me some insight into what could possibly be going through her mind. I don't understand how she can list a bunch of reasons to like me, but then say that she doesn't.

I'm just so confused, and I feel like there must be something she isn't telling me. It's like she instantly went from being all excited to "feeling awkward".

Most importantly, I'm wondering if there's any hope...

Thanks!

krst,

It's not uncommon at all for a girl to find a guy and instantly feel the "connection" and then suddenly feel the opposite. I'm sure she thinks you're all those things she mentioned and more, but if she says the attraction's just not there, then it probably isn't. There have been many times where I had just met a guy and thought he was absolutely wonderful, but the more time I spent w/ him, the more I realized that the attraction just wasn't there. As much as I wanted it, it couldn't be forced. But we ended up being great friends!

I really don't mean to sound blunt and don't want to hurt your feelings, but you may have to accept the "just friends" relationship with this girl! And who knows, maybe down the road she may see you in a different light. But the WORST thing you can do right now is be whiny and sulk. Don't say "but why?" or "I just don't understand." The best thing you can do is accept it and move on.

The stronger you appear to her the better! Be a man. Act like a man. Because you ARE a man. You will be more attractive to her in that way than any other.

Hope this helps!