Hello everyone,

I am just trying to get some perspective here for a situation I have found myself in - so to speak. My wife (of five years, with three children) and I have always had a bit of a rocky marriage in large part due to my poor behaviour in the past. I have taken full responsibility for this, I am in counselling, and am doing a lot of soul searching, andhave completely changed the way I think about and react to my wife. In her own words, I have become the man that she first met and the man of her dreams. However, I have to say that this was likely triggered when my wife explained to me that she was involved in an emotional affair with a coworker and she had developed feelings for him and even considered seeing him outside of her work. We have gone through a full disclosure of the EA and she has initiated no contact with this other person by going to her supervisor and requesting a change in shifts, etc. Anything she could do to get away from this other person as she understands that the nature of their involvement was inappropriate. I am still pissed about it but can understand why she would have done this since the other man was giving her the emotional support I was previously unable to provide. Long story short, life is miserable but we are working on it.

One thing that is really bothering me is that she recently told me that she wasn't attracted to me anymore and isn't sure if she loves me. This is clearly very hurtful but I have concluded that it is due to our previously unhealthy marriage and she has lost that spark for me. I am hopeful that it can come back but am fearful that it will not.  We are having great sex, when it occurs, and have been working on having fun together.

Not to toot my own horn as it were but I am a well educated man (PhD), with a good job, I work out and am very fit and I have always had very attractive girlfriends (I should point out that my wife is very attractive and garners a lot of attention, as I suspect most beautiful woman do).

I suppose my question, for those that may have some insight, is it possible to regain the attraction factor if it was lost. I have never been in this position so I do not have nay insight.

Hmm...not sure you need to "be who she wants you to be." I think you just need to be the best you can be. She doesn't want someone who is trying to form themselves into some image of what she wants. That's not a sign of self confidence or strength.

It really sounds like you two need to go through Joe's seminar, LovePath 911. Call (866) 903-0990 and ask to speak to Steve. He can help!