I'm sorry to hear that your wife may have BPD. But, that doesn't need to be the end of your marriage. BPD is just that, a disorder. There are medications out there that will help her and you can get her in group therapy with others that have this condition. But, even though she has this she can lead a somewhat normal life once she get's help, I would think.

I understand that you may feel she needs to "hit bottom" but she's not addicted to anything. And if she is, it's probably because of her disorder. So, praying for her is great and that may make you feel like your helping her, but what you need to be doing along w/ prayer is getting her help! Don't treat her like an addict, treat her as someone who needs help. Find a doctor that specializes in this and take her so she can be properly diagnosed. If it is BPD, then the doc can go over your options for treatment and your wife can start getting better.

Hope this helps!