I too am struggling with this issue. My husband can't seem to fire the girl he had an affair with but claims its completely over. I caught him 4 or 5 times over a period of 8 months during which he would say every time that he was sorry and would end it. I even discovered a pay-as-you-go phone in his pocket on Christmas morning. All of the memories of the texts I found and things I heard from others continue to haunt me. He is more transparent now and I think the relationship is over but it is on my mind every day. Also, this girl is nothing like me and someone I consider to be a "bad" person (3 kids by 3 diff men - but never married, HS dropout, ex-stripper, etc.) which makes me question who my husband is. It really sounds like your husband is making a real effort. I have 2 kids too and can totally relate. I wish you the best. Maybe we can both find some peace. I am considering getting the LovePath home course since I don't think my husband would ever attend the seminar.

I am so sorry for the pain that both baffled711 and stuck are going through. We will help in any way we can.

If you have the Your LovePath book, read chapter four about limerence. It will give insight into what has happened.

Can cheaters overcome and never cheat again? Absolutely. Seen it work with so many couples over the years.

I know the deceit hurt, but sinners are good liars. If he had already crossed the line with another person, lying naturally follows for self-protection. (Think about how it worked with King David when he committed adultery...)

I pray that someday I can work with both of you and your husbands in one of my three-day intensive workshops. I genuinely care.

Thank you all for your comments. You do not know how much they help. I know my husband has made an effort to change and work on our relationship and most day I am so grateful. But then there are the days when I feel he is keeping things from me. Deleted text messages... working late at night. It may be innocent but I cant help to get pulled back to the time when the affair was going on ...and all the hurt and anger comes back. And that is what I have a hard time dealing with. I don't want to go through my life always questioning and doubting my relationship. I know that only time, hard work and prayer will get me through this.

It is often said that the way to get over it is to let go. Your husband has hurt no doubt but if you really love him and want to work things out for the sake of the kids... you have to let go. Good you're already going through some marriage help guide and hopefully that should help if only you work it.