I've retyped this message a couple of times, but I'll try to just keep it short.  It was during the weekend of my 15th anniversary that I discovered my wife was in love with a man she had been having an emotional affair with for the previous three months.  We have repaired our marriage, so to speak, but as our 16th anniversary approached, I found no desire to celebrate it.  Our anniversary, which had previously been a source of pride for me, now created much anxiety.  I told my wife I did not want to celebrate it, and she was agreeable.  Well, another anniversary is now approaching and I feel the same way.  It's hard to explain, but although I love and care for her, I no longer have that feeling of pride in my marriage, and celebrating an anniversary feels somehow phony.  I'm filled with anxiety about it, but I think I will offend my wife this year if I tell her the same thing again.  I just wish it would go away.  Has anyone else dealt with this kind of feeling?  I would love to feel normal about things again.

i have issues going on in my marriage that are so awful but im not getting into that right now.the deal with ya'lls anv date is weird for me also.i am divorced and have been remarried almost a year now my situation on that is our anv date is my ex husbands birthday.at the time i didn't really comprehend that date now i feel so weird about it but there is nothing i can do to change it.i believe you need to just do what u feel in your heart and either she will understand and ya'll can do something about it or maybe things will eventually work out in time.sorry if im no help im new to this but i do wish u the best of luck.

I really feel for you... in our case it is me that had the affair.  Before it happened, for the first 23 years of our marriage, every month on the 17th my husband would send me a card, or leave a note on the mirror or in my lunch... Since then he has continued to do those little things, but I don't feel the same about it.  I feel like I "ruined" it and have a hard time feeling proud of our marriage.  Your wife may feel the same way.  We have enrolled in a lovepath workshop and I am hoping to work through my guilt feelings there....  The idea of renewing your vows is an excellent one!  Our 25th is coming up - maybe we will do the same and finally put all this behind us.