Bender,

I've been there. Breathe my friend. It's a long race so tell yourself that you don't have to have immediate answers to what happened over a year ago. I know you want them, but it's mind over matter at this point. Allow yourself time before you panic any further.

If she did cheat, it might not be something she feels she can confess to you without a neutral third party present (like a counselor or a seminar leader like Joe Beam).

Avoid the feeling telling you to be controlling or obsessive right now. You won't win her back or lose her in a day. Let her see your inner confidence even if you have to fake it right now (don't be arrogant, cocky or cheesy though).

I saw this article linked to by another poster responding to someone who just found out his wife was cheating. I'm not definitely saying yours is, but the concepts as far as strategies on getting her back would be very helpful for you to read. The article is at: http://www.marriagehelper.com/how_to_win_back_your_husband_or_wife.php