Here is the situation:  We have been married 5 years and are going through a divorce, very early stages.  Here is what happened.  We argued and fought alot.  My wife was physically abusive and emotional, I really tried my damnest, I cook, clean, get the kids ready for school, anything but it seems as though it was never enough.  I was a pharmaceutical rep and she swore I was having an affair with my female partners, but as God is my witness I never did.  I am a very social person, I speak to everyone and love to laugh, she is the opposite, very serious.  In 2007, I went to a conference in Orlando, she linked up with her ex but says nothing happened while I was gone.  It took me a while to get over all this.  We still continued to argue about half the month, every month and I hate arguing, she always accused me of messing around but I wasnt.  I dont club and after 5 I am at home.  In 2009, I did have an affair (Sept, she didnt find out till June 2010), a one day one, my wife was only sleeping with me about once or twice a month and our relationship was getting bad, then good,..I was dead wrong, I have constantly told her that.  In December 2009 she said she should be allowed to club and admitted that she hates when I touch her.  We separated in December after a lot of hurtful things were said.  In Jan 2010 I was really mad and didnt want to work on nothing, I couldnt believe she gave up our marriage for the club.  I started calling people, texting, etc, she put a P.I. on me and I dont deny but I wasnt sleeping around, me and her would still sleep together till April.  She drew the line then b/c she thought i was sleeping around.  I told her in June that finally after all my anger over her moving out, I really saw that I loved her and wanted her back.  Initially I didnt buy her saying she loved me in January b/c how can you go from hate in December to I love you in January.  Anyway, now, she wants out since she found out about my affair, I still love her and really want her back, what can I do?  We both made mistakes in our marriage but she seems to think she didnt do anything and I cheated.  We had dinner last week and I told her to at least try for 3 months and if she sees that her feelings cannot change, I will let go, she says she stills love me but cannot trust me.  I do flirt but I dont hit on these women, i just love talking to people, I really want my wife back, what can I do? I feel broken without her.

Also, what drove me to the affair, that was a one time thing, was I was getting no affection from my wife, no hugs, no kisses, almost no sex, and I would tell her this but nothing changed.  When we went away for the weekend without the kids, everything was always beautiful, I mean we really enjoyed each other for every minute.  Once we got back around the kids, all changed.