Here is the situation: We have been married 5 years and are going through a divorce, very early stages. Here is what happened. We argued and fought alot. My wife was physically abusive and emotional, I really tried my damnest, I cook, clean, get the kids ready for school, anything but it seems as though it was never enough. I was a pharmaceutical rep and she swore I was having an affair with my female partners, but as God is my witness I never did. I am a very social person, I speak to everyone and love to laugh, she is the opposite, very serious. In 2007, I went to a conference in Orlando, she linked up with her ex but says nothing happened while I was gone. It took me a while to get over all this. We still continued to argue about half the month, every month and I hate arguing, she always accused me of messing around but I wasnt. I dont club and after 5 I am at home. In 2009, I did have an affair (Sept, she didnt find out till June 2010), a one day one, my wife was only sleeping with me about once or twice a month and our relationship was getting bad, then good,..I was dead wrong, I have constantly told her that. In December 2009 she said she should be allowed to club and admitted that she hates when I touch her. We separated in December after a lot of hurtful things were said. In Jan 2010 I was really mad and didnt want to work on nothing, I couldnt believe she gave up our marriage for the club. I started calling people, texting, etc, she put a P.I. on me and I dont deny but I wasnt sleeping around, me and her would still sleep together till April. She drew the line then b/c she thought i was sleeping around. I told her in June that finally after all my anger over her moving out, I really saw that I loved her and wanted her back. Initially I didnt buy her saying she loved me in January b/c how can you go from hate in December to I love you in January. Anyway, now, she wants out since she found out about my affair, I still love her and really want her back, what can I do? We both made mistakes in our marriage but she seems to think she didnt do anything and I cheated. We had dinner last week and I told her to at least try for 3 months and if she sees that her feelings cannot change, I will let go, she says she stills love me but cannot trust me. I do flirt but I dont hit on these women, i just love talking to people, I really want my wife back, what can I do? I feel broken without her.
Also, what drove me to the affair, that was a one time thing, was I was getting no affection from my wife, no hugs, no kisses, almost no sex, and I would tell her this but nothing changed. When we went away for the weekend without the kids, everything was always beautiful, I mean we really enjoyed each other for every minute. Once we got back around the kids, all changed.