I want to think that I know my husband very well.  But, of course, the affair changed all of that.  I never would have imagined that he could be so masterful at deception and manipulation.  If certain things had not happened, I may never have discoverd the affair and it could possibly have continued.  Even when I presented him with irrefutable evidence, he continued to lie and manipulate me.

And now, after months of healing and attending LP911, I want to believe that what is happening between us is real.  But just this week some major doubt has been surfacing in me. How do I know that he has just not become an even better actor and better liar? How do I know that he is not just pretending to be happy with me so that he can go about his affair undetected?  He was good at it before - maybe he has just gotten even better at it.

Logically I know this is not the case and I feel bad for even thinking this way.  But this fear and doubt bubbles up in me from time to time.

DR s i like what you wrote, it was very encouraging for me, I recently confronted my husband about an affair and he said it was not true, Im now sitting here wondering whome to believe. BUt i am also have thoughts just like cindyjo. Its very new and im hurt and confused. But you are right, I should spend some time improving myself and spending time with God. I will encourage my husband to go to church with me this sunday.