Hello, This is my first time on this site. I have been married for 19 and a half years to my HS sweetheart.  My husband has had 4 affairs in 19 plus years. Every single one with a much younger woman. The last one started in June with a 23 year old bartender-who happens to be in this country illegally and does not speak English! My husband is 44 yrs.old.I found out about 3 weeks after it started. We immediately separated but with in the same house. Due to our finances at that time were not able to separate completely. He lives in our basement and I have the rest of the house. We have 2 teenage kids-our oldest is a Senior and looking at Colleges. They know what their dad did and so does my family. His family does not know but all they know is that we are separating. we both go to counseling-individually. 
I realize that i have allowed him to treat me this way. That I have provided him cheap forgiveness every time and just believed anything. Not this time. I am not willing to just believe anything he says. He said before Thanksgiving that is over with the OW.  He even said that she tried to take her life (took pills) in front of him-if she can't have him. His counselor said that she is playing him. She has 2 kids one here and one in her native country. The one here is 2 yrs. old and she says it was from a date rape. Now she and the father share the care of the child. Since she works nights he keeps the child at night at his house with his wife and mother. There is  so much that i see as crazy but he believes anything.
I thought he was smarter than that. He is in law enforcement. He is a Sergeant trained in Negotiations. He actually could sell ice to an eskimo! So therefore when he talks to me I never know what to believe. I have chosen to just interact with him to a minimum-about our kids and finances.
I feel that we need to separate physically. I need my space and time to heal and think. I don't want his actions to bring me down anymore. I know our marriage lacked a lot but I will not be held responsible for his actions. For his poor choices.
I am really nervous about Christmas  and New Years. We are supposed to spend it with his family. I just don't know what to do????
By the way in July I told the kids about their father's affair. SO he blames me for the kids looking at him with anger and treating him differently!

So that is my story..................

Di

I feel your pain since I am dealing with the same thing.   One thing I have learned through this is that it is 100% NOT your fault.   No matter what was going on in your marriage, there is nothing that can justify your spouse to go cheat.  It is totally wrong.   Marriages all have problems, just like life.  When problems come, thats when communication is needed, but instead your spouse chose to run away from reality instead of dealing with things.   Obviously, there is a pattern here that he can't brake.    You deserve better.   I can't tell you what to do, only you can decide.   Personaly, I have leaned on God and that has helped me through this terrible time in my life.  I wish you the best.