About 3 months ago maybe 4 I discovered my wife was having innapropriate discussions on Facebook with a past fling. We immediately started counseling and things have improved for the most part. Last week I discovered that there were more conversations with this other man that I had never seen. The problem is that these other conversations were far worse than the ones that got us into counseling in the first place. It brought back those feelings from several months ago like I was finding out all over again. I guess what upsets me the most is back when I first discovered all of this I asked if there was more and she said there was but I saw the worst of it. Well, I didn't. What I found trumped those previous conversations so I'm back to feeling hurt. I know it will wear off in time and we will continue to move forward.

Tonight we had a long talk about us, Facebook- the do's and don'ts. We made some progress and honestly I was feeling better and so was she. It was getting late and I wanted to take a shower before bed and she asked if she could join me. I suddenly felt awkward and replied that didn't think it was a good idea. She asked why and I told her that I might get turned on. She then said, so...? I told her I wasn't ready to go there yet. The same woman I've been with for seven years and I told her I didn't think I was ready yet!!??

She of course felt rejected and sauntered off to the bedroom, laid down and turned out the light. I tried to explain that I wanted to feel connected with her on a different level and not have sex for the wrong reason. Basically, I don't want to lead her on that everything is ok when it's not. But now I've hurt her in the process... am I being a baby about this?

Please trust her i think you are going through.