Ok, I'm a "gentleman." I sure don't know if I can help you get it, but I can give you my opinion.
Obviously I don't know all the details and that would be important. But obviously he has received a big reality check by your one night stand. Sometimes, even many times a spouse leaves over infidelity. I think it shows his true feelings and even dedication to want to save your marriage. Rather than listen to his ego and just give up, he thinks you're worth it even though he'll have to deal with the visions his mind imagines of you with someone else.
Men and women often have difficulty knowing exactly how to change or even if it will help. I'd HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend you to Joe Beam's seminar. There's information about it on this site at
http://www.marriagehelper.com/marriage_seminar.php and you can complete the form there to talk to someone about it.
No marriage is a perfect love story in terms of all the details. Maybe a blow like this could turn things around. Joe is a world-class guide on helping you get over the hurt (and him get over the hurt of your affair) and then to take the necessary steps to be happy.
Other than that, I'd say that you should work it out with your husband. You've wanted to and now you can. I'm sorry it took this to get his attention and sometimes it turns people away, but you should accept this change in his attitude and willingness. It's what you wanted, right?
Check out Joe's seminar!
Author