I just spent my first thanksgiving alone since 2006.  He works out of town and that's how all this started....I deal with many many lies daily and he seems to think he keeps getting away with them even as I call him out as he sloppily mouth them.  Phone numbers and emails left over our cell bill as well as sharing details with family freely.  He works with one female and the others are in another country of all things.  I have all facets ( the social networks, secret phones, he refuses to come home when he can)... its been a nightmare since the beginning of the year and it was confirmed in August.  yet, he will talk and hold long conversations about almost anything else dealing with our lives as long as nothing about these affairs comes up then its insanity.... he's been caught red handed long long ago but he still acts like its new and here we go again... he pays the bills still (sometimes complainingly) but won't agree to no type counseling, books, google searches for help resource like I have or nothing. He even went for several weeks not talking at all then resulted in only texting, right now we haven't seen eachother since early Oct.  he keep saying he's gonna come home but always makes up an excuse the day or morning of.... I already know he's going to lie his way out of it but he seems to get such a kick out of thinking he's being deceptive over me.... I can point blank tell him I know he lied and he still feels some triumph and yet that was over all why he wasn't coming because I always mess something up he try to do.  So.... over the past month I've really really focused hard to try to not argue when he starts even when an affair issue rises.  Not always answer the phone even when I'm looking at it ring, not always talk until he ends the call, etc so it appears I have stuff going on and have a life other than him these days.  The holidays are really tough and our anniversary is this month too.  I'm thinking of going on a trip just by myself as an end of year treat to me. 

Thanks, I appreciate the thoughts... it is indeed a hugely tough situation.  It was a consideration to attempt an intervention type thing to try to coax him into going to the next seminar but just over this past weekend it seems hopeless still.  So, at this point I'm thinking of possibly only an ultimatum to cease and desist.  Wow o wow its truly frustrating at best... holidays and our anniversary but with grace and mercy I'm managing daily.

Thanks, I am prepared to stick strictly by my ultimatum totally.... its at that point.  Its no ideal threat, hopeful thinking or wishing.  It simply is what it is and can only either be better or  much better.  Its basically gonna result in some sort of closure for me regardless.  He's wild and all over the place and appears not to have no sights to slow or stop.  It adds to the heaviness of my heart with it being at the holidays but the time is nearing to find peace of mind overall.

Noticeably, significant others tend to forgive cheaters much easier these days. There are still many who end the relationship on the spot, regardless of factors such as housing, children, or what the cheater has to say. I respect the decision of people who take this path and do not consider them cowards at all. However, in my situation, I took the other path.





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