angle, I dont know too much about the wife from what you've mentioned. But I worked in Mental health for 5 years and I am a firm believer in talk therapy and medication. If she fits into a bipolar dx- or an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder-no worries, hope abides! Also if she fits into any of the other diagnoses, no worries. Many people who have these destructive tendencies can live happily with the help of medicine, support and therapy. Not to mention a healthy happy home. See if you can talk to her doctors and get some advice on how to foster a healtier lifestyle for you and wifie.