wow wow i know how you feel exactly!!!  my husband dropped that on me a while back but in my case see he is talking to someone female she is an  the problem is that old HS friend but see on this side of it they actually have nothing going on physically she has a boyfriend i have spoken to her and everything her and my husband are constantly texting and talking here and there. he didnt wanna leave because of her see ihave been with him 12 yrs at the beginning of our relationship i was a sr in HS i had an affair with a coworker i was young and stupid and didnt know what a real true relationship was then i realized what i did i only slept with this other man once but the day after i never spoke to him again i have regreted it ever since and i have been faithful ever since the problem is that my husband has never gotten to the point of forgetting or i think true forgiving he says when we make love he sees me with this other man and imagines what is it that i did with him in bed so he cant even climax or be comfortable with me. he says this makes him not be able to be with me anymore then i had found he was talking to this old friend i thought of course it was him wanting to leave because of her that made him even more mad because i accused him but then he came back and told me he wanted to try and work it out he just needed time to work thrugh it  and i needed to back off of his life and stay out of it not be accusing him all the time. so far i have been staying out of it he still text his friend but it has been less and now we are finally starting slowly to come back together for awhile we were sleeping seperate (his request) then finally he wanted me back in our bed and it will take time but it will work out. my advice for you is give it time i know its hard i went thru days of not eating not sleeping the only thing that got me thru was the kids 10,5, and 4months old. it seems like it will be an eternity but love just doest disapear it is there for you but you have to give it time dont be pressuring her all the time an dasking questions all the time i started that way too but it only made him mad and he would leave again so you need to just back off as hard as that is you have to! have faith in yourself and dont start to put yourself down or question what it is you did that is just as bad as questions to them! try to keep up with your everyday life make it as though you are carry on like its normal everyday life i would keep llife the same and be like hey babe how was your day, hey babe what do you want for dinner stuff like that and like i said we ARE trying now its going to just take time it WILL heal if you believe in your marriage and your love just stay with a strong appearence on the outside! dont let her know your hurting as much as you are