Ok my wife just got out of an 8 month affair and I am 99% sure she has not contacted him in any way for over 2 months.  She ended it over 2 months ago in front of me and I have kept a close eye on EVERYTHING ever since.  We have been married for nearly 14 years and I didn't show her that I loved her or give her attention like I should have for several of those years which is part of the reason she strayed and I know this and accept it but I have thrown everything I've got into our marriage since I found out about the affair and have given her attention/affection and do little things all the time to show her that I love her.  We never seperated and I finally won her back a little over 2 months ago and successsfully got her to end her affair and stay in the marriage.  She always easily showed me affection and attention prior to her affair but now it seems to be very rare if at all that she shows me affection or attention in the "little ways" if you understand what I am trying to say.  I mean she kisses me and tells me she loves me and things like that but she doesn't seem to do the "little things" out of the blue like pick up dinner, buy me a card, or text me out of the blue to show me she loves me anymore.  We are having sex but not as often as I feel we should be but she is having some female issues and seeing a doctor about that so that's besides the point.
I just feel like if she really wants me and wants us to work she would be showing me more now than before but she's not.  I mean she sent this guy texts all the time that she was thinking about him and did little things like that but she doesn't do those things for me at the time being.  Should i just give her more time or should I be worried she is having second thoughts? She had never cheated on me before this was the only time and in the back of my mind I seen it coming with the way I was acting and not being the husband of was capable of being.  I am just scared and worried with the way she is not showing me.  I do see where it could take some time but in my mind and if it were me and the roles were reversed I would be trying with everything I had to show her that I wanted it to work and that I had made a mistake and I would be showing her all the time.  I guess what I am saying is I am getting the words but not the actions.  Thanks for your input....