JoeBeam
LovePath Club
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« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2010, 11:14:08 AM » |
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Unfortunately, there appears to be this rule of thumb in relationships: People don't leave what they have unless they believe what they are going to is better. If he is wanting separation from you, the reason is likely one of two things. 1) He finds the relationship so painful or oppressive that he feels being alone is better than being with you, or 2) he has something/someone else in mind that he is willing to give you up for. Obviously, I don't know either of you and may be wrong in my assessment, but experience says I more likely am correct. Sorry.
If the relationship with you is that bad, there are still the children. You state that he says he would move out to see them, yet, he isn't moving now. That hints that number 2 above may be more likely than number 1. It appears - again, I don't know but am going on experience - that he may have something in mind for which he is also willing to forego being near his children.
If you let him do what he wishes without consequence, then whether you mean to be a door mat or not, you probably are. As long as he knows that you are there as his safety net, he has no reason to avoid or cease his current behavior. While I certainly cannot tell you what to do, I suggest that you think in terms of taking care of yourself and your children while making things tougher for him. Make him make a choice. However, if you wish to just wait to see what happens, that is certainly your prerogative. However, his two previous affairs you mentioned seem to indicate that he has not had to face severe consequences for his actions until now. Maybe it's tie to make him grow up and realize that he cannot have everything his way.
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