We had a nanny who kept texting and calling him before she was fired, she would send him updates and only him of our children.  The relationship grew over time without my knowledge. It seems they have been communicating and talking for months.  I noticed her familiarity with him and got concerned especially when she had issues following my orders and giving me lip about it.  I toke the nanny phone I bought and paid for saw the messages her telling him I am crazy she is quite around me never says anything and where the FU**** was I not there to watch the kids. I tore up the phone and fired her on the spot, the kids are asleep she is screaming at me top of her lungs "you cost me my job" and "you tore up my phone"  before she heads out the door with her suitcase. WTF.  I was her boss and the phone was MINE!!!!  I found out they have been communicating behind my back talking about me etc.  She has told him stories, half truths, and embellished what I said or did to make me look like bad to him.   He never once came to me and asked me about it or told me he was talking to her.  They both hide the fact from me.  He lied and broke my trust, especially when she shows up at his office and stays there for an hour AFTER SHE WAS FIRED............... I talked calmly to him and told him he cant do that it hurts me, if he cant stop talking to her then I cant be in his life to pick and choose.  He promised he would talk to her any more.  The very next day he texts her.  At this point I am not sure what is going on with them.  All I know is that I cant trust him, the honesty and respect is just done.  We have three children, him treating the nanny like she is on some pedestal and me like some pack mule.  That's not good for them to see.  She even went as far as telling the children that "I was mean to her".  Who uses small children like that.  I hate to see the family split like this but I feel that's going to be the only option.  We are going to a marriage counselor and talking but I cant get past the trust issue and feel I am done.  Any suggestions out there or advice????????

Reading your story made me realize that in order for a relationship to work, there has to be a bond between a husband and wide that is unbreakable. That's what it means to feel secure ad have trust. The first step in trusting another is communication. Your husband, like mine... Should be honoring you and not any other woman.