My husband and I have been married only 3 years.  But, to TRY to make a long story short...When I moved from my home city to the city my husband lived in, I left everything.  I mean everything.  I left my family (extended), my life, my security and everything I ever knew to marry my husband.  The agreement was that we would live in his city for about 2 years until his driving contract was up.  Well, here it is 7 years later and my husband still will not move.  So, I have decided I am moving without him.  The problem is that I have no job, no car and just recently received full custody of my 5 yr old grandson.  How does a single woman with a child like this move and survive?  The one good thing is that I do have somewhere to go but I have no car to look for a job and no job to pay rent.  So, I was wondering if anyone out there has been in the same situation and can tell me what to do or where to go for help?  Don't even ask about my husband giving me money.  He does not have a job right now so he doesn't have any money.  Don't get me wrong...my husband is a good man and we love each other very much but he refuses to move.  The advantages of moving more than out weigh the reasons for staying.  So, are there programs, societies, centers, etc....?  What do I do?  Also, I have no where to take my stuff.  How in the world do I take my stuff when I have no where to take it?  I am soooo scared.  If it was just me I could handle it better but I have a child with me.  I really hope someone can help me.  I have always been a woman that was in very much control of my life but right now I feel like the word "control" is not even in my vocabulary anymore.  I also have medical issues so I get worried about leaving my DR and not having the money for medications that I HAVE to have.  Thank you in advance for any help I can get.

I will watch the seminar if I can do it alone.  But, I am not by any means making a hasty decision.  This has been an issue for 5 years.  We have even had marraige counseling.  I thank you for the reply and I am hoping someone out there can help me with resources?   

bremom,

I'm sorry for the situation you are in right now, but you said you've been married for 3 years and together 7? Well, why didn't you say something to him about moving after the 2 years was up and his contract was over? And I'm not understanding, if you say you love him very much and he loves you and he's a good man, then why are you wanting to leave? This doesn't make much sense to me. And you say you have a place to go...is it back to where your family lives? If you love your husband, then why do you want to leave him?

You said you used to be in control of your life, and now you feel that you don't have any control. So, is this just an attempt to get that back? If so, you can still have control of your life and be married. It's called compromise.  I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but you not only have your own self to worry about now, you also have your grandson. You NEED your husband to help you raise him. What kind of life are you leaving to go to, and where will your grandson fit into all of it? He'll be at a daycare all day. If you're working full time, it's not fair to him to have to live that way when in all reality you didn't have to leave your home, your husband in the first place. Now, if your husband was abusing you in any way, that would be one thing but you said "he's a good man" and "you both love each other very much." So again, I'm not understanding the problem other than you want to move.

Please help me understand a little more into your situation other than you just want to feel in control of your life again. And again, I'm not trying to sound harsh. I really do hate that your feeling this way. But I'm looking at it from another point of view and thinking about that 5 year old little boy. I have 2 boys myself...8 and almost 5 so that's what's bothering me most of all. I can't imagine picking up and leaving their father (I know if your case it's the grandfather) to move to a strange place with no money, no job, no car, nothing! You've lived in your home for 7 years now, is there nothing about it that you like? Or have you resented it all this time?

Again, NOT trying to sound harsh or mean, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this.

Do you have any skills? Degree or any proffesion? You can also look for a job online...good luck!

Why won't he move with you? Doesn't he want to be with you? That sounds strange as you mention that you love each other very much.. Talk to him about it.