This is a last ditch effort to salvage my marriage. I’m 33 years of age. I’m living a situation that contradicts every fiber of my being, and is consuming my marriage like a disease. My wife of seven years is 49 years of age. Her children who all live at home consist of three sons and a daughter, in their 20’s and 30’s. None of them besides the daughter is or intends to be employed. They all have children or a child of their own. My problem is that my wife shelters them in every way, shape, and form from any and all responsibilities and consequences. They know that all they have to do is sit there, and in the end mom will take care of it all because she doesn’t want them to suffer. We have contributed to their advancement, (Cars, Phones, ect.) but they destroy everything, and what they are not given they take. What’s confusing is that although my wife agrees, she resents me. It’s like she just wants me to sit down, shut up, and continue to allow her to do nothing, and the kids to do and take as they please with no consequence and no consideration for me or our marriage, or our financial future. It has gotten to the point now where my marriage is being destroyed because I cannot tolerate the situation.  I need help desperately, and immediately. The only logical solution seems to be to divorce, but I love her. I write this letter in my truck because the apartment that I moved us to for some peace and quiet has no electricity. The house and apartment electric is in my name but the kids owe $901. Her solution is the following: Have the kids’ dad connect the house in his name, and have me connect the apartment with another company. I can’t go with another provider because I don’t have the money for a deposit. I need a hefty deposit because I owe another company $876 for the last time the kids didn’t pay. Either way, I’m  $1777 in debt with two electric companies, and my wife isn’t coming home until power is restored which I don’t have money to do. I’m at my wits end. PLEASE HELP

It's unfortunate that you are in this situation and I'm sure it hurts a lot.

The best thing you can do right now, as strange as this may sound, is to love your wife openly and warmly. Give her everything she wants and make her feel incredibly loved. As soon as she feels as if she could never come down, THAT'S when you talk to her and request that she stop helping her children; albeit in a patient, gentle, and loving way. This will create a much greater response than becoming depressed and resenting your marriage.

The trick is to take immediate action. Good luck and please keep us posted.