I just joined today because I just don't know what to do.  My husband of only 2 years came home Saturday afternoon to tell me he dosnt want to be with me anymore.  He said he has been unhappy with me from the beginning of our relationship, and that he hasn't been in love with me for a long time. 

He really didn't show any signs of being unhappy until this past month.  He is in a new band full of single men...they have been playing a lot of shows lately.  On Jan 7th, he wasn't home when I woke up, so I called around to see if he was ok.  He called around 11am claiming he had too much to drink, and stayed with a band member.  The very next weekend, he didn't come home until 8am...he said he was at denny's.  Then this Saturday, he showed up at 2pm Saturday afternoon after playing friday night...then dropped this bomb on me.

I've tried talking to him about trying to work it out, seeing a marriage counselor, and trying to get where we use to be...he just won't listen.  He isn't acting like the person I know and love.  I'm really worried about him right now.  He hasn't even mentioned anything about him being unhappy, or leaving me to he family or his friends that he has known his entire life.

I've talked to a few of our mutual friends, and they just cant believe what is happening either.  He stopped wearing his wedding band, and only comes home to shower before work.  He claims he is sleeping at the recording studio.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  I am not ready to give up on him or our family.  Our daughter is only 18 months old, and she just walks around the house crying for him.

I just don't know what changed so suddenly, and why he is just pushing everyone away that cares for him.  He tried to say I made him move in with me, ask me to marry him, and made all of the decisions about the house.  None of that is true.  He would constantly tell everyone how much he loved me, and is so thankful to have me in his life.  He was even still saying these things last month.

None of it makes sense to anyone right now.  I really need help.  I cant let my marriage die when I know it's right.

Kristin

Your husband's behavior is exactly the same as mine. He left me and I didn't know the reason. He lies all the time and after 9 months since he left, I found out an other woman involved. They are dating and having affairs. I saw that and called him to ask about my 3 year old daughter's fever ( he took care of my daughter that night) but he said he wanted to end the call to do his homework ( he is law school student ). At that moment, I wanted to kill both he and his girlfriend as we are still married and working on the divorce.
I think yours must have an affair. Nothing can make a person change that much but another woman. All men and women who are dating, closing to have affairs or having affairs always complain about spouse and lie all the time. You'd better off. I know it's hard now but it will be better later. I'm heartbroken and sometimes I can't stand losing him because I love him a lot. All he has done to me didn't stop me loving him and I just feel too painful. My daughter feels everything and she is so scared of him after he left and came back to visit. It even hurts me more when my daughter behaved like that. So I tried to tell her that I was fine and would take good care of her. And he always makes cookies and buys presents for her when he has her. So now she is more comfortable with him and less scared. He was a good person and we was very happy for almost 6 years of marriage. But he changed so quickly and differently. He became a different man that I never knew. Marriage counseling didn't help once he already made up his mind. I understand how you are feeling now because I am in the same situation. But I think we'd better off and move on our own life sooner than later. Hope both you and I will have a better life soon.