It does take a huge toll on you when your spouse does not trust you.  When you marry, you promise to trust that person for the rest of your life.  Your husband has broken his vow...not you.  If you have discussed your feelings with your husband and he still continues his behavior maybe you need to take it a step further and seek marriage counseling.  That is if you still love him and want to try and work out your issues.  If you are to the point where you don't feel you can't repair your marriage, talk to a lawyer and find out what your rights are.  Most states award custody of the children to the mother unless your husband can prove you to be an unfit mother in areas of alcohol/drug abuse or physical/mental abuse of the children.  I also believe that, given you would probably get primary custody, no court is going to order you to uproute your children out of the home.  It seems you have been married a long time and depending on the amount of time you have invested in the marriage your entitlement grows larger.  For instance, if you have been married over 10 years you may be entitled to some of his retirement when he retires or his 401k / pension if he has one.  I also think you may be entitled to stay in your home and he will be ordered by the court to leave and financially assist you with the mortgage/utilities until you either remarry or your kids turn 18.  Every state is different so you will need to consult with a lawyer to find out exactly what you are entitled to but I would bring up these points and see what your lawyer says.  Best wishes...I hope everything works out ok for you and your children.

Good advice going there