Really, in short.... the following is paraphrased as a She Said/He Said
She Said: My husband isn't my best friend anymore. We used to communicate all of the time and now I don't hear from him for days. He keeps secrets from me and discusses our relationship with people who I feel want to see us fail as a couple.
He Said: I feel like my wife is more like my worst enemy than any kind of friend
She Said: He never has anything nice to say about me to others or to me. Our therapist gave him an exercise to talk nice about me at work, then tell me what he said. On Day 1, made up a lie. On Day 2, he told a half truth and Day 3 (and since) he "forgot".
He Said: My wife has nothing nice to say about me, to me or anyone.
She Said: No matter if I'm right... I'm still wrong; he never takes my side and he doesn't have my back. Before he asks me what happened with a situation, he will ask the other party and it doesn't matter what I have to say.
He Said: I disagree
She Said: He frequently overrides my authority with his daughter.
He Said: My wife never consults me before making decisions with my child or any of the children. I feel many times she is too hard on the children and makes unreasonable demands to the children.
She Said: He doesn't care when I feel insecure.
He Said: My wife has no trust in me. She never had any trust in me. I feel I have done everything I can do to comfort her insecurity.
She Said: He disregards my feelings and frequently interrupts me when I try to express how I feel.
He Said: My wife does not consider my feelings or opinions.
She Said: If I have feelings or thoughts he believes it's because I have a mental defect.
He Said: I feel that when my wife expresses her feelings of me being a “PIG, Liar, Cheater, Sneak, unfaithful and so on is indeed a psychiatric issue. I never gave her a reason to not trust me.
She Said: My husband pushed me, screamed in my face to "get the f**** out of here" and acted violently toward me repeatedly once. In addition to puttin a bruise on my arm at his ambulance base right in front of the group of people he works with that there are numerous rumors of infidelity occurring (some involving him). I've even gotten anonymous text messages saying "I'm going to have your man tonight" and it was while he was working with the people who always seem to "hang out" there off duty.
He Said: My wife came to my place of employment unannounced and made a negative scene and acted highly inappropriate in front of myself and my subordinates. When asked to leave, she refused. I escorted her off the property after she called out a female employee into the parking lot.
She Said: My husband puts everyone else's feelings and thoughts before mine; I feel like I'm last on his priority list.
He Said: I feel that I have no priority with my wife
She Said: My husband is using his money as a means to control me by not refinancing his truck that I stupidly consigned for, knowing he still shares bills with his exwife. If I don't pay the truck payment then he claims he is "forced" to work a second job... Conveniently at the same ambulance base where his exgirlfriend of 9 years on & off works.
He Said: I pay for my truck and every other house hold bill. I feel my wife does not contribute to the household bills at all except for food and necessities.
She Said: My husband has let his religion fall by the wayside. I try to bring up our vows and scripture about marriage and ask for us to go talk to the clergy whom performed our marriage at his church, but he refuses. He also doesn't want to attend the church where I was saved anymore.
He Said: I don’t have a religion, I am non denominational. I do not like the church we attend. I believe in God and I believe Jesus died for our sins on the cross and rose from the dead and sits with the heavenly father.
She Said: My husband still honors the wishes of his ex-wife over our marriage. He does whatever she asks.
He Said: I do not agree
She Said: My husband still supports his ex-wife financially. He consigned on some student loans for her and while the payment is only $24.95/mo. He pays it because she will not. It ruined his credit so I had to consign on a truck for him.
He Said: I do not agree
She Said: My husband focuses more on his own goals rather than having or making goals with me. He doesn't really care to do anything with me anymore. We can't even talk without fighting.
He Said: I focus on the family. I am home with the family if I am not working to support the family.
She Said: When we fight, my husband retaliates his anger by running to work with his ex-girlfriend at a second job. It bothers me because she told me she is still in love with him and his job shift is 24 hours (overnight). She has even told me he has never been able to resist her.
He Said: I disagree. I have to work hard long hours to support this family. When money is needed I go to work where ever I can.
She Said: I believe he has cheated on me both physically and emotionally. He shuts down, deletes text messages and I was diagnosed with HPV two years after we had been together.
He Said: I have never cheated on my wife.
She Said: He is closer to his friends than he is with me... And they're all cheaters.
He Said: I have no friends because of my wife. She hates everyone I know. She judges every friend I ever had and goes out of her way to ruin any friendship I have.
She Said: He doesn't include me when he makes decisions that affect our family. Like custody issues, etc.
He Said: I disagree
She Said: He doesn't make it clear to his exwife that our life is separate from her and we have our own family unit; he doesnt respect me enough to tell her he needs to discuss things with me included. I feel like she runs our house.
He Said: I disagree. My wife hates my ex. The only thing my ex and I discuss is issues with my daughter, I cannot include her because she cannot get along with her and having any discussion with her and my ex is nothing but harmful.
She Said: He threw my belongings all over the place once even after knowing how traumatized I was when my exfiance threw my belongings out. It was during a fight when I took his phone because he wouldn't talk to me and he was being secretive.
He Said: She hid my phone from me like a child. I needed my phone to set my alarm so that I could get up for work. She refused to tell me where it was or give it back to me. After asking 10 times for the phone, I went and looked for it, displacing everything from drawers.
She Says: now what?!? Deadlocked.