I'm here out of desperation. I got married on my 18th birthday to my husband who is now 23. We have been married 1.5 years and have gone through so much together. 3 years of long distance and then finally through immigration I was able to come to America. I've been here for 6 months now.

Every time I think of getting a divorce I just run through my head and all my thoughts just overwhelm me. Im so unhappy. I hate fighting with my husband but that's all we seem to do now. Even about little things. Hes horrible and says mean things and I'm not a strong willed person. I cry and he gets so mad at me. He won't talk to me when I cry, and that's when I need him the most. I'm only 19 and I'm starting to regret the decisions I've made. I have no friends here, I'm in the process of finding a job so all I do is stay home. I'm so homesick, I miss my family so much. I have become so depressed, expecially when we fight.  All I can think about is suicide. When we aruge im washed over with sadness and then anger because I'm getting ignored and my husband shuts me out because he doesn't want to deal with the situation. I have a problem with anger and I don't know what to do with it all. So I smash my head against things. Walls, doors, cubboards. Anything that is hard enough. I just feel like I'm not getting through to anyone and that relieves my pain.

I'm so scared to get a divorce. I don't want to embarrass my family even more. They told me not to get married, that I was too young.. And look at me now. Mothers always know best.

I want this marriage to work out. I want us to be happy. I'm just so sick of being sad. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm ready to give up.

Thank you in advance.

Ok, your 19, another country.  I would start caring about yourself first.  By taking care of yourself and your basic needs you will be a better person and wife.  It seems like your husband is insensitive and is driving you crazy by his still immature reaction to you.  He is a kid too, men really never grow up in my experience.  Why don't you do yourself a favor and talk to him calmly and don't raise your voice and don't cry.  Tell him how you feel and how it hurts you when he yells etc.  You need to try and communicate to him what he is doing in a none threaenting manner.  If that does NOTHING, get on the first plane and go home.  It takes a stronger person to walk away then it takes a coward to stay and be abused for YEARS.  Do you want to be there in this state for the next year or even more.  Do something.  As far as embarasing your family, tell them the truth they love you and want you to be happy.  Even older adults make mistakes like you did its ok, your young growing and learning.  Next time, it wont hurt to wait and get to know the person before making a commitment like marriage.  Its well worth it in the end, as you figured out on your own already.  Good luck and I hope this helps.  Be good to yourself, take care of yourself.  Ending your life is not the answer.  Get a good book read do something keep you busy not on suicide ok.  Take a class or buy a punching bag anything :-) good luck.  Let me know what happens ok.