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Marriage Compatibility: 3 Things That Make Love Last
Are you compatible with your partner? How do you know if you’re married to the right person??
It’s hard to know, because so many online quizzes and personality tests focus on getting you connected with the EXACT person you should be with. These quizzes focus on what you like (and what you don’t like) and match you with the most “compatible” person.
These speed up the process of getting to know someone in real life- connecting you two through similar hobbies, likes, and interests.
However, there are some issues with these matchmaking sites and compatibility tests. One issue is that these create a vision that there is this one, “perfect person” out there. Another issue is that these turn your focus toward the wrong things in the relationship. What I mean is, these things are NOT the most important in maintaining and growing the relationship.
For example, once you’re married, you’ve invested much more into your relationship. So much so, that measuring your compatibility with superficial things like hobbies, cleanliness, this, that, and the other..can lead you to miss out on the REAL FOCUS of what makes a relationship work.
Here’s the thing, ALL relationships have problems. All relationships take work. However, there are three things that can make love last: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
These three areas explain your relationship on a deeper level- having openness and honesty. Desiring to be one with your spouse- wanting to experience life together. Committing to your spouse for better or worse and having a willingness to stay and work things out.
Here’s the bottom line. If you have intimacy, passion, and commitment- your relationship will last. And, at the end of the day, your Myers Briggs, Personality Style, or Love Language won’t keep you married or cause you to get divorced.
Every relationship will require you to learn how to connect with someone who is different from you. And our free quiz will explain where you are in each of these three areas and how you can improve and work on things.
Whether you’re engaged, married, or separated we have many resources that can help transform your marriage. From our Marriage Helper Workshop to Marriage Coaching and Online Courses, we would love to help you transform your marriage.
Instructions for Marriage Compatibility Test for Couples
Please answer our marriage compatibility test questions as honestly as possible, based on what you truly feel is characteristic of your relationship right now. Do not answer the test questions how you think it should be but how it actually is and feels.
Throughout the marriage compatibility test for couples, there are blanks for you to mentally insert the name of your spouse. Just say his or her name in your head whenever you come across a blank so that you can answer the question how it applies to your relationship with him or her.
You should not make a decision about the future of your marriage based on the results of this test. We work with marriages who are in difficult situations and who, many times, are in danger of ending. Even in what some think are hopeless situations, we are able to greatly help to keep couples and families together. Even if one of both of you don’t want to save or work on your marriage, there is still hope and we are used to working with couples in that type of situation.
Rate the following questions on the compatibility test for couples using a scale of 1 to 9. One means not at all. Five means moderately. Nine means very much.
Note: All information submitted on this page through this marriage compatibility test for couples is considered confidential, will be kept private and never sold or given to any third party vendors. This test is used by permission of Dr. Robert Sternberg, Yale University. If your scores are low, we can help you to strengthen and even save your marriage. Click here to get more information on our Marriage Helper 911 workshop for couples in troubled marriages who are in danger of separation or divorce (or who may already be separated or divorced).